Someday, Somewhere, Sometime

I remember. The first light I saw did not come from the lucent warm lighting of the pet shop. No, the soft warm light that graced my back had came from you. It had peeked through my little world and though it did not last forever, the time we spent together was my little forever. I remember. The feeling like I had just aroused from a deep dreamless sleep, the ends of my feet tingling with pins and needles, how it made me laugh! I remember. The first sound I heard was not the twinkling of the gold bell that hung by the entrance, but your soft beautiful voice that completed me. I felt like I belonged here.

But there came a day.The Someday when I felt like I did not.

Gradually, the sky was painted shades of autumn; your voice the hand of an artist, and the sky, a great big canvas. Crimson red swirled into punkish orange, then into mustard and finally the final touches of soft gold. The gentle glow had begun to descend over the horizon; daylight’s symphony had quieten down. Gazing out, the old oak trees lining the pavement outside had leaves that burn bright fiery colors before slowly sky diving down. Their shadows inked on the pavement resembled your teardrops on the pages, scattered. Please don’t cry I know your tears aren’t for me, it’s ludicrous that I ever thought that it was, but it’ll be alright in the end. I promise.

Somewhere over there, a gentle wind blows the door open just a tiny bit; the air fills with the sweet scent of strawberries when it does.

It seems like I was the only one among my brothers and sisters to notice you, but you mustn’t take insult to that, they are after all very naïve. My days are spent observing people. All sorts of them walk through the door of the pet shop, yesterday I saw a rather plump woman with a flower printed dress bring home a tiny poodle. The poodle adored her, licking her face as she carried him between her sausage fingers. I guess opposites attract huh. I couldn’t understand the gaiety everyone was in whenever someone enters the shop. I adored it here, with my siblings, with you but as time went on I understood. This was love, love is a mutual knowing between two in which they knew they were meant to be. An unspoken connection. One by one my siblings were bought, it was rather sad at first but I figured they were going to a good and warm home, being happy for them beats jealousy. I also realized, not being bought meant that I got to spend more time with you I felt contented then. Sometimes I wonder if you ever think of me outside this little world of mine, do you ever think of me when you’re out with your friends, when you rake the leaves outside? Do I even exist in your world? You know, you are the last thing on my mind before I fall asleep every night and my first thought when the sun breaks through behind the buildings at dawn. When I dream, we don't seem so far apart.

The pet shop owner, whose name I found out was Rosy, was a very nice person. She always remembers to switch on the little warm light before she goes home; giving a treat along with the lettuce she feeds us. Sometimes she has a boy over; I think they are together as you can see the love in their eyes and their smiles. That was their unspoken connection, the way he would spontaneously grab her waist, which would rivet her in whatever she was doing, and elope into a small waltz in the middle of the shop, or how she would bake cookies with little notes in them for him. His name is Luke. Can we ever be like that? Will be ever be like that? Or will it just be within the confines of my mind? You don’t know how much I ponder over it and how my heart aches for I already know the answer to that question. I take comfort in that I’ll rather know the answer than be in oblivion till the end.

Then the accident happened, a storm brewed heavily outside the window, the windowpanes rattling ever so slightly and the oak trees bending stubbornly. I knew you were crying for them. You were crying when Rosy was rushed to the hospital after losing her battle, you were crying along with Luke as he held her hand, with Rosy’s heartbeat monitor as the only other sound in the room other than his pained soft sobs. You were crying when the sound turned into a long monotone, which sent the doctors rushing into her room and Luke into hysterics clinging to her so tightly begging her not to go. The storm outside ever increasing in ferocity. Please don’t cry, It pains me to see your tear streaked face. The doctors saved Rosy, or rather the medicine they gave her had finally kicked in and they called her a miracle. The skies had begun to clear up again; I spied a faint rainbow in the clear washed blue sky. See I told you; it’ll be alright in the end. Luke and Rosy are as loving as ever towards each other. Your smile, when he got down on one knee one night, was the most beautiful thing I’ve have ever seen. It left me breathless, for it emitted a glow that lit up my sad heart. It hurt when I saw that your smile was for them, not me. But it’s ok; if you’re happy I’m happy too. Sometime, it'll come the time when all I remember of you is your smile.

It’s coming to the end now.

My world would turn dark again when the last page is flipped, when the last word is read, when the last sigh is sighed. It has been truly magical all this time, you are simply unreal for I have never and will never see someone else as bewitching as you. I pray you’re not just a chimera, a figment of my imagination. I’ll never forget your beautiful eyes, your sweet laughter, and your lip biting habit when you’re nervous. I’ll always remember how much you want to go to Europe, sleep under the stars and fall in love in Paris. All I ask for you is to remember me, keep me in the back of your mind please don't forget me. Saying goodbye is easy, but meaning it is impossible. It is also physically impossible and unimaginable for tears to roll down my eyes. But pain demands to be felt, it’s gnawing at my heart increased. The pet shop’s fading slowly in color now, the fair snow outside has stopped, the intricate snowflakes forever frozen on the window. Now I can see through my feet too, I don't want to go. Just please, I beg you, please remember the little tortoise hiding in the corner of the pet shop.

Maybe we’ll see each other again. Someday, Somewhere, Sometime.