Young Writers Society

Liam was the only one of us that looked any different, and it was starkly so. His skin was dark, the opposite of Braden and I’s extreme pale. His eyes, on the other hand, were a familiar almost black colour, but here it was hard to find light. It was either a result of genetics I’d heard about in school, or more likely, my mother had an affair. Except if any child was my father’s it would have been Liam because they had shared the darker skin tone.

Love was a weird concept in this world, but I’d thought I had seen it in my parents. Very few people stuck together for such a long time and they might have even married if they’d ever had the money to.

But the fact that my dad had stuck around and in some way cared for Braden and me was something rare I found myself appreciating on certain days; when I could ignore all the other things he had done.

Liam was delighted to have his banana, telling me about school as he munched it into oblivion. He didn’t mention any learning, like what once must have happened, but instead how he’d stolen ten bucks off an unsuspecting kid. He was a lot like me, sneaky in the background rather than Braden who stole upfront. That had changed with the addition of the Dorshadass to his life, and as always the same was inevitable for Liam.

Braden appeared home an hour before sunset, chatting and eating with us. After he gave Liam a quick lesson on fighting as I watched from my bed. He never directly mentioned his fight from the morning, but I could see its remnants on him then. He avoided putting too much weight on to his left side, but also held his right arm carefully. Other than a couple scratches on his face the damage remained hidden under his clothes, which was smart, too many visible marks made anyone a target.

The fact that’d he’d turned up at home still alive proved my assumption from earlier. Oliver would have killed him rather than let him go. I wasn’t sure if my brother dealt with him with the same ferocity, but either way, I wouldn’t have to deal with seeing Oliver’s face again. If left alive he was undoubtedly running to the other side of the city, banished.

Braden said his goodbyes again at dark, the most active time for his gang. I wouldn’t dare leave our apartment at that time without a weapon and my hood up. Liam asked to go with him and I pretended to not hear, taking it as another sign of my approaching abandonment. But Braden denied him, his eyes flashing to me as he did, he knew I saw the inevitable.

“Will he let me go after my birthday?” Liam’s voice broke the silence only a few seconds after Braden had closed the door behind him. I looked up at him as he sat on his bed only a few feet away from me on the right wall.

“I suppose so,” I told him, returning my eyes to my lap where I was recounting all of our money, four hundred fifty-two. I was considering getting Liam a birthday present, a rare occurrence, but it could be the last thing I did for him.

“We won’t leave you,” He spoke again, and my eyes shot up quickly. “I know you think we will, but we won’t. We’ll just take you with us. I know it.”

“Hopes are a thing of the past,” I mumbled, paraphrasing part of the daily speech. His voice was scratching at a part of me that I should have never let grow. Emotion and caring that he had too and shouldn’t.

He stood up quickly moving over to my side. He may not be my full brother if I was honest, but he definitely shared my height, already five foot tall.

“We’ll speak to Oliver,” He announced.

“Oliver is gone,” I informed him. A smile grew across his features, going so far as to reach his eyes, another rare occurrence.

“Then it won’t be a problem.”

I wished his words were the truth, but they weren’t. No gang, even with my brother in control would let a girl in. It was another fact of life, and no one had control enough to change it.

“It’s time to get in bed,” I said, tucking my cash into some of my spare clothes that sat neatly at the foot of my bed.

Liam moved away silently, and we ignored each other as we changed. I traded my jeans for a pair of sweats and pulled my hoodie over my head. Just as I pulled myself underneath my blanket the small, singular light in the middle of our ceiling flickered twice before completely plunging us into darkness.

“Goodnight,” Liam whispered.

“Night,” I responded, shifting until I was sitting up against the wall.

It was our routine, I pretended I was going to sleep, and then I didn’t. I sat there staring into the darkness, listening to the night as it turned the normal chaos to a new extreme. My hand slipped into my pocket, searching for the familiar cold of my knife, but I couldn’t find it.

Lucas. I moved again, as quietly as possible, searching through my clothes until I found my spare. It was almost a perfect replica of it’s lost sister. Accept the handle was much rougher, not yet smoothened by nights of my fingers running over it. I tucked it away and waited, not daring to let my mind slip away into my thoughts, nor dreams, only that which happened around me.

Hours passed and I hardly moved, not until I heard the light tap against our door before it opened. Braden’s figure entered smoothly, closing us off from the outside world as quickly as he’d opened us to them.

I waited until I heard him stop moving before I finally laid down. My hands didn’t move from my hoodie pocket though, remaining carefully wrapped around my knife.

Morning came slowly, approaching closer between each time I slipped towards sleep. Yet, I was never fully out. That was one thing I hadn’t done in a long time, maybe it was to protect my brothers, maybe it was something else. In such light sleep, I wouldn’t dream.

Dreams and nightmares had always been one and the same for me. Dangerous.

I was up at dawn, beginning the same routine as every day before. I was dressed in my usual black and had food ready by the time my brothers’ eyes began to flutter open. We ate in silence. Although we may have been enough of morning people to be awake none of us found socializing particularly important. The silence continued as we left together, ready to face the dark world for another day. Liam walked with us for a few blocks before giving me a quick hug and moving away. Like every day the hug made me freeze up for a second, thousands of worries being pulled to the front of my mind, but I pushed them away for another time.

I was feeling particularly tired and moved through the rest of the morning in a daze, turning each part into a checkmark on a mental list. Morning announcement of hopelessness, drug dog still alive, pat on the back from Braden, harassment from random guys, math class with blond-haired mystery. Except he wasn’t there, his seat sat empty as I walked into the dark room pulling my feet to a sudden stop. I may have been dazed, but I thought I’d still been attentive enough to notice his two guards standing just down the hall like normal, but maybe I’d just imagined it.

“Are you going to sit?” The deep-voiced question made me jump, my head turning toward it instantly. “You could just stand there all day, but I would prefer to be able to see the board during the lesson.”

Lucas sat in my seat in the corner. Or maybe it wasn’t mine, but the one next to it. The dark made it difficult to tell exactly.

“Kera?” He spoke again pulling me out of my frozen state. I had moved and found myself in my normal seat, next to him, before I could even realize how stupid of an idea it was. As soon as I did the bell rang out making me jump again as class started on the automated time like always. Lucas acted normal too, pulling out his notebook and listening carefully.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye for a second before being caught and staring forward with a purpose. The first few minutes of the class went painfully slow, without my normal ability to stare and question the boy I had nothing to do.

I tried to question what would have caused his sudden change in behaviour. It was obviously rooted in our brief meeting the day before, but beyond that I couldn’t guess what was going on in his head.

Next thoughts of everything I pushed away slipped into my mind, but as I always I pushed them back again. For later I told myself, but honestly I hoped to never have to deal with them.

Without anything better to do, I found myself actually listening to the robot teacher. I didn’t understand the majority of what was said, but listening to it drone on worked to alleviate some of my boredom. With less than ten minutes to go the voice announced the lesson over and commanded us to finish practice problems. Without anything to focus on any longer, I found my gaze slipping towards my neighbour, only to find his eyes already on me.

Pulling my attention back to the front of the room I began to question his motives again, but before I got anywhere his voice asked it’s own question.

“Why did you look confused?”

Whatever confusion he had found before likely returned as I wondered what he meant.

“By the lesson,” he finally explained.

“I don’t normally pay attention. Starting now isn’t going to help after so many years of not caring.”

“So why do you come? If you take how full this classroom is right now for example why not just follow along?”

“Why do you come?” I retorted. “I may be the odd one out right now, but you, rich boy, you’re the cat hiding within the wolves cave.”

He chuckled quietly at my comment, closing his notebook and beginning to put it away. I thought our conversation was over when he began to stand, but he surprised me again.

“Not wolves, dogs.” He stated simply and some part of me wanted to agree with him. The school was full of murders, druggies, rapists, and every other sort of criminal, but they lacked any sort of beauty I had seen in videos of wolves. Instead, they walked the gutters like strays. Filthy animals hunting their next meal in the darkest corners.

I stood as Lucas walked to the front of the class, ready to follow him out and return to normal, but even now he refused to let that happen. When I was within a few feet of him he turned to me, carefully grabbed my chin, leaned down slightly and whispered carefully into my ear.

“And if I am a cat, you are the mouse,” pulling back he continued “You better watch out because everyone wants to get you.”

With the last of his warmth leaving me the bell rang and the screen turned off and even though my eyes hadn’t adjusted I could still see the cruelty and laughter in his eyes. Watching me as prey he would enjoy playing with before the kill, giving me false hope of survival.

The day before I had assumed his eyes were like the sky before pollution. Beautiful, full of life, and harmless. That assumption couldn’t have been more wrong. They were lightning, cutting through the darkness to strike you down without warning. Only after would you hear your doom, when it was already too late.

I stood frozen in my math classroom for much too long. Lucas was gone and the next bell rang without my feet moving an inch. I wouldn’t be able to last another minute within these walls, not without making a mistake. I would inevitably bump into the wrong person and allow my distracted state to get me killed or worse.

Without thought I let my legs carry me toward the back. The hallways were full, but no indications pointed toward any current fights. When I finally exited the building I was met by a common image. Tall wire fences surrounding old pavement and broken tables.

Braden’s back was to me at one of said tables, along with another dozen boys of varying ages. One with red hair I couldn’t remember the name of noticed me and waved me over, alerting the others to my presence. A spot next to Braden opened up for me to sit, but I stayed where I was silently calling him over to me.

He trusted the Dorshadass with his life, seeing these boys as brothers, but I was less trusting. I may be an exception right now, but I’d seen more than a few girls suffer at a member’s hands. So I preferred our conversations staying as private as I could get.

“What’s up?” He asked when he got close enough, tapping me on the back and leading us towards one of the further tables.

“I’m distracted,” I state simply, he knew just how bad that can be.

“What happened?”

“The guy from yesterday... “ I didn’t get far before Braden stopped moving eyebrows shifting together and lips moving into a deeper frown.

“Moriigan?” He questioned and I simply nodded my confirmation. “Shit.”

My brother moved again, this time back towards his gang. I followed until he stopped again halfway.

“You have your knife?” He asked quickly.

“Of course,” I answered, pulling it out from the jacket pocket I’d deposited it in that morning.

“Good.”

“Braden, what aren’t you saying?” I asked becoming slightly concerned about his overreaction. I had planned to briefly mention what had happened and then head home, only using our conversation to clear my head enough so I’d be safe. Now I was becoming more worried and in turn, distracted.

“What’d he do?” Braden asked, ignoring my question completely. “Did he threaten you at all?”

“No, well yes. Kinda.”

“Kera what did he say? Exactly.”

“He called me a mouse and told me to watch out because he’s the cat. Although technically I was the one who called him the cat first.” I was rambling by this point, very unlike my normal self. Braden, on the other hand, was shouting curses as if it was the only words he knew.

“Braden! What aren’t you telling me?” I tried again, but he ignored me moving the rest of the way to his buds already saying things to them quickly. A few of them had hopped up from the table and were inside the school before I even made it to the table.

“Braden!” I shouted again finally gaining my younger brother’s attention.

“Shit. You need to… Shit.” He mumbled giving me nothing.

“Would someone, anyone, explain why my brother is acting as if he just learned that the city was about to be nuked? No worse, as if attending classes just became mandatory.” I said addressing everyone, and getting a small smirk from the redhead.

“Sit,” Braden ordered, finally calming down slightly, so I listened. “It’s best you don’t know details, but we’ve had some dealing with the Moriigans.”

“That’s why he’s here instead of at a private school,” I stated, finally getting an answer to a question I’d been asking for months.

“Partially,” The redhead put in.

“For a while I’ve been suspicious Oliver was up to something, something that may have gone against the deal we had. It’s likely the Moriigans had the same concerns and sent their son as a spy for that reason.” He stopped briefly to take a breath before continuing. “Yesterday, after I… dealt with Oliver I learnt that my suspicions were a little truer than I had wished.

It’s very likely that Moriigan has come to the same revelation. It’s possible that he even knew yesterday and that is why he confronted you then. I was too busy trying to fix it last night to think he might know, and use you.”

“Shit. So what I’m hearing is that Y'all messed up and now Lucas-”

“Moriigan,” Braden interrupted harshly.

“As I was saying, Moriigan is now likely after me. That’s wonderful. Thanks so much.” I admonished, but something about that felt off. The day before Lucas could have taken me down easily before I was saved, but he hadn’t even threatened to out me for my thievery. And in math all the insults and threats felt harmless, only getting harsher the more I had pushed him.

“I’m sorry Kera. If I’d known I would have stopped Oliver earlier.” Braden apologized.

“Are you sure he knows?” I questioned “If he did why not already hurt me during his two chances. For all you know he could be doing it in hopes I spill your treacheries. His threats could scare you into proving a hunch. If he already knew why not just punish you already.”

“It’s possible.”

“Right, well let's not overreact because I would prefer to keep your secrets unknown if they still are. For the sake of my life and all.” Even though a part of me was terrified I couldn’t help enjoying the situation slightly. My brother and I hadn’t had a conversation more than a few sentences long for years, I missed our connection.

I shouldn’t have. I tried to remind myself that it was about to get me killed. Family you cared for was a weakness.

“You want to know for sure if he knows? Let me find out.” I said.

“No. You go near him, he gets another chance to hurt you.” Braden stated clearly. I was about to argue when the redhead spoke up again.

“She’s right, it’s the only way to know for sure and if he doesn’t she can distract him for long enough so we can fix Ollie's mess.”

We sat silently for a few minutes before Braden nodded his head slowly. “If it gives us a chance to save all of our hides than it just might be worth the risk.”

As he finished I tried to ignore the fact he put the Dorshadass’s livelihood above mine, but that was just a part of my life. Another truth I had to accept every day, another reminder he would soon entirely abandon me for them.

“Cool. But what do you mean by distraction? Because I am not using my body if that’s what you’re implying.” I spoke swiftly.

“It’s just that… You are... Well, your body is… nice?” the redhead stumbled although I couldn’t tell if it was in embarrassment, unlikely, or fear of Braden and possibly me. I watched as a couple of the other boys seemed to agree, if their sudden interest in my chest meant anything.

“No,” I stated, barely able to stop myself from zipping my jacket closed in humiliation. Just another part of life I reminded myself. “I don’t need my body. I’ll find another way. Any other way.”

A few of them began to pull out cigarettes and I took that as the end of the conversation and stood. At the door I felt Braden’s hand lightly touch my back.

“Be careful,” He warned and then was back at the table with the others again.

Gang first, sister who should have moved on years ago second.