Published October 19, 2008
He told you he loved you.
He told you hed never leave
but today you come in schock of what you see.
Staring out the window you see him with your bestfriend.
The one you trusted and you to were going to stay true until the end.
You face reality ,you scream for him to leave.
He tells you his sorry but you slam the door with no emotions.
He leaves theres nothing you can do,
you try to think of what you did wrong wishing you could rewind time.
Now its all lost and everything is left behind.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,457 Literary Works • 674,471 Reviews
i like the rhyme, and yea you did need some editing. but i hate grammar and punctuation because to me poetry isn't about putting damn commas and semi colons in the right place. it's about expressing yourself and emotions.
and this was short, but if you've really experienced a situation similar to the one your poem narrates...i'm sure you can't gather all of that emotion and all those thoughts and put them into words, onto paper.
love itt;;
Wow. This was short. You need to do at least 2 reviews before you post, and then keep a 2:1 ratio. And one-line reviews don't really count.
This was a good poem, but you should probably edit it.
You went into run-on land a lot, and that's where I replaced some of your commas with periods. You also left out your apostrophes.
Other than that, it was a good poem.
-Sea-