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12+ Violence

Edge of Humanity

by Juhxi


Year 2100

“Jules, please take care of your dad. Eat and sleep well, too. ” Hearing Esther’s words made Julian’s heart ache. He knew he should be happy that she was one of the lucky few who were picked, yet his mind refused to believe that the day finally came when she would stop visiting him at The Border.

He saw the news on the big television broadcast earlier that day, that very gamble that everyone held their breaths for. Nearly everyone he knew huddled in front of the screen just to watch it unfold with baited breaths. Nicholas Abbott, the creator of the spacecraft project ‘REINVENTION’ himself, had picked out of a hat the names of people who lucked out. The electronic was chipping away at the edges and cracking on the bottom left. The frayed wires barely held on, sparks occasionally being set off from the only device they had access to, the only source of information they could rely on; a huge screen planted right on The Border. Nearly every country had one, and even if they did not, news travelled fast.

When Esther’s name was called, he had not yet known whether to be ecstatic that she was going to live a much better life, or envious of all the struggle she did not have to go through to be so easily picked like that.

Yet, he swung his legs as he sat at The Border’s edge, his mind refocusing from the height he would have to climb down later, setting his sights on the horizon where the Sun kissed the dry, fissured land. He forced a smile. For her.

“Thanks. I’ll tell him.” He whispered, swallowing down the bile that had formed at the back of his throat, and his guilt of cheating his best friend of an honest pillar of support. She beamed at him. He looked away. “I’m happy for you, really.” His voice faltered ever so slightly, envy eating away at him.

They sat in silence; him picking at his chipped nails, and her staring at the barren ground before her, foreign and uninviting.

After some moment of hesitation, she finally stood up, a quiet “Goodbye” echoed in the space she sat in just minutes before, her shoes clicking as she descended the ladder. He, in turn, said nothing, his sweat stained shirt clinging onto him as he took one foot after another, making his way down his own side of The Border. He caught a glimpse of what he had always known as ‘Paradise’, where trees actually grew, and animals frolicked and thrived. A place where people lived in actual buildings and not run-down ‘shacks’, a place with hovering cars and working traffic lights, a place where families had three meals a day.

He gritted his teeth and disappeared behind The Border. And for the first time, he wished so badly to be in her shoes.

“Dad, Esther’s going. Even her family wanted her to-..” Julian stopped in his tracks the moment he stepped foot into his home.

Piles of papers and garbage littered strewn on the floor. The stool with the already broken leg was completely unusable now, the table flipped and the furniture a sordid mess. Calling that place a junkyard would have been a massive understatement. A nasty smell of blood traced back to the pool of it right in front of him. He gaped at the scene in front of him, and his mind wandered to the only other person he lived with.

Dad.

Immediately, Julian scrambled to find his only living family member, his heart clenching tightly in his chest, his feet aching and his fingers trembling. He swallowed his saliva, his lips chapped and his mouth dry, remembering how long it had been since he last had a sip of water. Alas, no one in the streets knew, or even cared to know, where his father had been.

After all, his dad had been the only one, out of millions who applied, who got the job to work at Reinvention. People still resented them for it, even if Julian had always been proud of his dad.

Slumping onto the floor, he mentally prepared himself for the worst.

Was it the loan sharks? Or maybe someone who threatened him was serious enough to-

He stopped his train of thoughts. He wanted to at least have hope. That was something nobody could take away from him.

He ruffled through the pieces of paper on the floor and everywhere at once, yearning and searching for a clue about his father’s safety. Sure, he had always been busy working at Reinvention, but it certainly could not have been a thief, not when everyone knew how poor everyone else was. And the blood. A dead giveaway.

I have only been gone for an hour to say goodbye to Esther. What did you get into, dad?

A feeling of uneasiness tugged at Julian’s heart, yanking it down and sinking it into the bottom of his stomach. Just then, as he picked up his shoe box, used to keep all his precious things, a small, folded note fell out of it. He crouched down, noticing a card sticking out of it. Hope blossomed in the pit of his stomach as he unraveled the note, watching the sleek keycard fall out and onto the dusty, creaking floor, sending a roach sprinting for shelter. Almost instantly, Julian recognized his dad’s scribbles. Only this time, they looked much more frantic than ever.

Jules. He read, gripping tightly onto the crumpled note. Please listen to me. I do not have much time, but I will explain everything to the best of my ability. Reinvention has a plan to transport all the people picked to the moon for a period in order to give them a ‘better life’, this much you already know. However, I came across a forbidden file, and I am being hunted. The people that were chosen were handpicked based on categories; Attractiveness, talent, intelligence and wealth. They planned to have these few people drink a serum that allows them to age much slower than others, allowing them to reproduce faster. Doing so will also allow them to chip them. I’m not too sure how it works, but it allows the people in charge to track your location. They are taken to the moon, and promised the safety of their families, when in fact, no one on Earth is spared. Scientists have planted landmines around every single piece of land, which will go off nearly the moment the spacecraft departs. They plan to eradicate the world of people who were not ‘perfect’ enough to board their spacecraft. I want you to live, Julian. Take the key card, the profile picture resembles you, but please try to hide your face as much as possible. I do not want them to find out. Do not drink the serum. The coordinates you must go to are on the card. I can hear them outside now. Trust no one. I love you so muc

Julian’s hand shook with every word, his lips quivered as tears pelted the piece of paper, knowing that his father had not even the time to finish writing a proper letter to him. He could barely even make out some of the words from dried tear stains that smeared onto the ink. Shoving the note into his pocket, he grabbed the key card.

Esther.

He could not salvage what had been done, but the least he could do was to make sure that people knew what they were getting into.

He was going to persuade the captain himself.

As he entered the Arena, a place where people usually gathered to watch the news, he watched in surprise as people from both sides of The Border were finally seen in one place. They were easy to differentiate. People like him wore close to rags and sleeveless tops, while people from the other side carried bags with names, brandishing their phones.

As he slipped into the small crowd that formed in front of the spacecraft, covering his eyes with a hood, he felt like he was deceiving countless people at once. Countless people who could have been given the opportunity to run away and leave everything behind, something he was shamelessly doing. He nearly turned back, but not before spotting Esther in the crowd, laughing and chatting with her family through her phone. She had always droned on and on endlessly about how lovely her family was, that Julian almost felt jealous of her at times. But at that moment, he wanted to run up and hug her, to let her know that he was coming with her, and to tell her all the horrible things Reinvention did. Julian glanced back at a boy who bumped into him and apologized meekly. The stranger had average looks, just like him, but there were three other categories to be in, anyways.

When Julian turned back, Esther had long disappeared into the crowd.

He waited in line, anxiously fidgeting with his key card, and his bag strap, filled with his favorite trinkets, smushed in front of an old polaroid photo of his dad and mom when they were his age; 16. He could feel his palms sweat, even as he furiously wiped them onto his hole-y jacket. Julian ended up stuffing them into his pocket.

At last, dreadfully, it was his turn. A guard held out his hand, and shakily, Julian placed the card on it, keeping his eyes glued to the ground. He held his breath as the guard checked the identity on the card, his heart pounding like he was tied in a race against time.

“Cassius Kentworth.” Julian could swear that he heard a scoff coming from the guard in front of him. “Yeah, that’s me.” He swallowed his fear, making eye contact with an ant that was crawling on the ground.

“Can you look up?”

“...This photo is quite old.”

“It’s okay, dude. Don’t be insecure. It’s not like I’ll kick you off the spacecraft if you’re ugly.” Julian could hear a light chuckle from in front of him and snickering from the back.

But you will. Not because I’m ugly, but because I’m committing identity fraud.

Julian squeezed his eyes shut and slowly tilted his head up, finally meeting the guard face to face. It felt like he had aged centuries while the guard meticulously scrutinized his face. He suddenly felt much more conscious of his disheveled appearance.

“You look better in photo.” The guard grunted after a few seconds, shoving the key card back into his palm and pushing him to move along. Julian could almost feel a boulder rolling off his shoulders as he exhaled a shaky breath.

Finally, he could bring himself to look up at the towering spacecraft, while concierges heaved people’s heavy bags and wheeled their luggage up to their transport. Their personal pods, as they called it.

Julian, or Cassius, eyed the spacecraft which was sending a few thousand people into the dark void. Would he be able to stop it from happening? There was a greater chance of him growing a third leg.

However, he refused to just sit back and do nothing while families are being torn apart, and the world flips into chaos.

The spacecraft was a sleek, jet-black color, with vibrant blue lights lining it and brightly illuminating the night sky. Would this have been what stars looked like? A huge windowpane sat at the very front, likely hiding the control panel, and the place where the spaceship's pilot would definitely be. Julian directed his attention to the many cages of animals being wheeled in, the noises either scaring or annoying the people nearby. The spaceship resembled a dome with huge engines fixated on its sides, and Julian almost forgot what his mission was.

Almost.

As Julian maneuvered and squeezed his way around the crowds of people, he spotted the next challenge he had to overcome.

The serum was a bright, shining blue liquid, glittering and dazzling like a liquidified jewel. People did not even question before downing the liquid in a clear cup for everyone to see. And right after, an unknown substance was injected to the body. Sure, they called it ‘antibiotics’ because going into space might be a huge change for people, but Julian knew that it wasn’t just antibiotics they would be forcing into his body. If he went there, he’d be chipped, and being chipped would be bad for an unwelcome guest like him.

Julian's gaze darted around the perimeter. In front of him were guards that instructed people to drink the serum, behind him were guards who ushered people into the spaceship. And all around him, were guards who would not hesitate to shoot him on sight if he continued being suspicious.

However, a light bulb seemed to flicker in his head when he spotted the cargo being wheeled into another door. That heavy metal door with no security would be his ticket.

Immediately, he glanced around, before not-so-stealthily making his way to the door. The guards were busy trying to make a good impression on the ‘chosen few', so much that they had their backs turned to the metal door. Perhaps they believed that no one would be stupid enough to try and sneak in. As a cargo was wheeled in by a distracted worker in blue and white overalls, heaving the cargo as he climbed the many steps, he followed right behind, jolting as the door slammed shut behind him.

He slunk into the darker parts of the lowest level of the ship, using his hood to cover the glint of light in his eyes.

As one worker after another joined each other for a break, smoking and wheezing, Julian slipped behind shiny pipes and cages of chickens and cows. The smell of animals seemed to overwhelm him all at once. He had never even seen a sheep up close.

Finding circular framed windows lining the ship, he cautiously peeped out, taking in the scene of many families waving at their loved ones, knowing that despite there not being windows in the upper levels other than the control room, they would always have their support.

The very thought made Julian's heart rip.

How could the scientists so heartlessly exterminate everyone on Earth? What was their plan?

Julian's fist clenched as he swallowed down the remaining doubt he had about the mission he entrusted himself with.

“Jules!”

Whipping his head around, an out-of-breath Esther emerged from the shadows of the pipes, panicked and surprised.

“Esther.”

“I saw you enter the ship through the cargo door. What are you thinking? Why are you here? You’re supposed to be out there on Earth! What would you do if you were found out? How’d you even get in here?” Esther bombarded him with questions, frenzied.

“Esther I-”

“The guards are merciless, Jules. Why would you put yourself in danger like that-”

“Esther!”

Esther's lip quivered as she stared up at him.

“What, what is it?” She said quietly.

“This whole thing is a façade! Reinvention isn’t sending people to the moon so that the people on Earth can have a motivation to ‘make the world better for their family in space' like they said it was. They’re doing this because they plan to exterminate the rest of the population! Esther, you must help me. I’m not supposed to be here, but you are! You must persuade them not to do this! There are millions of families out there, even if there’s only 4 billion people on Earth right now. We can still save it. Please!”

Esther's heart lurched, her face pale.

“What are you saying, Julian? Who told you that?”

Julian's heart hammered in his chest. It had been so long since she said his real name. What, two, three years?

“Esther, you must trust me. I’m telling the truth!”

“I know.”

Julian's heart seemed to stop for just a moment. It was like the world suddenly revolved around them, and time seemed to move slower and slower.

“I know, Julian. We all do. We signed a contract to leave everything behind.” She whispered, her eyes travelled to the window right in her sight, overlooking the many families.

“That included the people who took care of you and fed you, clothed you when you were young, and raised you? Those who befriended you and taught you?” Julian’s voice shook as the ground tremored, the deafening whirring of engines filling the empty silence.

“Yes, Julian. I would know.”

“I was the one who proposed project Reinvention. “

“I’m an Abbott. Esther Abbott. My uncle is the one who designed the ship.”

The floor rattled and vibrated under their feet, the wind picking up dust and dirt as the people on Earth grew smaller and smaller.

Until palm sized explosions lit up Julian's view, rendering him speechless as small specks on Earth ran for cover, all while guards sacrificed their very lives to ensure the project’s success. How could they be so cruel? Julian could almost hear the gunshots and screams as he turned his head, unwilling to be a witness to the horrible massacre. A bystander who could do nothing.

“Julian, I did what I could. The Earth has to have time to regain what was lost while humanity was in charge. Look! We have the best of the best right on this ship. We can restart and do what we couldn’t the first time!” Esther placed her hand on Julian’s shoulder, and squeezed it reassuringly, something she had always done when she attempted to comfort him.

It always worked. But not anymore.

Julian swatted her hand away, grimacing, disgusted at her vile thoughts. Esther merely stared at him; her expression unreadable.

“Don’t pretend like you never meant to leave me, albeit everyone else, behind.” He scoffed, taking a tentative step back.

“Julian, you know it’s not like that-” Esther reached for him, the sweet, kind and endearing friend she always cherished. She had not meant to betray him so, but things must always be sacrificed for the greater good.

By then, they were long out of Earth's atmosphere, high above the thin patches of clouds. Jubilant cries echoed from above, people celebrating left and right.

Julian could not take it anymore. Hearing the excited laughter, seeing his home fall into chaos both in and out of The Border, witnessing the irreversible damage his best friend had caused to the whole of humanity.

“Do you even know what you’ve done?” His voice was low, his fists were trembling. His dad, his friends, that lovely old lady who would stop by his home every day to give him fruit.

They were all dead.

And it was because of her.

Julian yanked Esther's hair, forcing her to look out the window at the pandemonium right below them. She screamed as he bashed her head into the window, over and over again. She begged him to come to his senses and stop, clawing at his hands uselessly, gasping and spluttering as her head burned with a splitting pain.

That was probably what everyone else on Earth had sounded like, before they were brutally massacred.

Hell, he had no one anymore. If Esther had been a normal person with no affiliations to Reinvention, could it have turned out differently?

Blood dripped out of her skull as she shook and heaved, tears trailing down her cheeks. Right as alarmed shouts echoed from behind the pair, Julian snapped out of his thoughts, and released the grip on her brown curls. Esther slumped onto the ground, while Julian tore his eyes away from the splatters of blood on the floor, finally looking out of the window to let everything that happened dawn on him.

A miniscule crack crept up on the window as Julian was dragged away. 


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18 Reviews

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Thu Aug 15, 2024 2:37 pm
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Stickles wrote a review...



Hello there my name is Stickles of the ST Brand Story/Book/Poem Review company or better unknown as STBPR. Today i am here to review (Juhxi) your story titled (Edge of humanity).

To start lets discuss your writing technique. Its very dirty, like the use of bugs to explain how clean and or dirty a place can be (cockroach and ant being big ones) and how you described the surrounding area. But i kinda hoped for more description of the ship itself, sure you told of the outside of the ship but the inside is a little neiche with only a few descriptions such as a line of people and a group of happy party goers, just something to look out for.

Next we need to review the story as a whole.It was strange, but in a good way, a story of 2 sides one being rich and one poor but the end result of there being a wall in the first place before leaving and blowing it all up confused me a little, escpecially since they hired this guys dad ( a poor person) being used more as a story driven reason than a actual reason. Remember that characters have more use than just to push the story along (best example of this would be gold roger from one peice and how he was origionally used as the reason for one peice but then later on given more story which you cant do in a short story)

Almost done cause next we have to look into the dreadfully boring grammar and spelling (not that I know how to spel). You did good on this which makes me wonder if this was your main concern, but also you need to watch out for large sentences.

Finally I wanna talk from the heart and tell you what I as a reader think is great and what needs to be worked on. This final part is more my opinion than actually anything so dont worry your pretty smart head. I understand what ive mostly said is negative but i want you to look at it like this, You made a fdantastic story withj great descriptiors and alll you need to do is work on the nitty gritty parts such as grammer and characters. This is fantastic because that means you can become better and better. So please do your best and I believe in you.

Your final score is /20
Writing 2/5
Story 3/5
Spell/Grammer 4/5
Personal 5/5
Grand total 14/20

Oh and a great bonus with being Reviewed by STBPR you get a audio book of your story free. It will be posted on (Sep 11, 2024) via this link located here.
https://youtu.be/WVEaOpsvhjU
Have fun writing. -Stickles




Juhxi says...


Hi! Thank you so much for reviewing my work. I know I have a lot to improve on but I'm really glad that you liked it! I'll make sure to take note of the errors and work on my mistakes in the next story!



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Fri Aug 09, 2024 9:51 am
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Seoyoung wrote a review...



Hi hi!

I love science fiction so much! It's one of my favorite genres! It's like there's so many different paths to take, which means the story is always exciting! I've always loved dark twists in sci-fi stories too, and this one was written so well! ^-^

The relationship between Julian and Esther had me really intrigued. I'm not sure the age of the characters, but I imagine this is a coming-of-age situation. I would be so scared if I was in their shoes! Both of them were so brave! I think Esther's character development is especially clear at the end, but it wasn't the good development. They went through so much together... and she betrayed him!

But then he kills her! That was such a twist that I couldn't see coming! She wasn't the most lovable character, but omg that did shock me hahah!

I wish there was a little more foreshadowing in the story though! Most science fiction stories have tons of little hints during the build up. I think the climax of this was written excellently, but it came a bit suddenly! The other reviewer goes more into details about what to add, and I completely second it all! Even mentioning more about who they are to each other before all of this would be great.

This was so good though! It eased me my sci-fi craving of the day xD

~ Seoyoung




Juhxi says...


Thank you!! I'm so happy you enjoyed my story :>



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Thu Aug 08, 2024 3:33 am
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farq4d wrote a review...



hey there, just dropping by for a quick review.

this story is a science-fiction piece about two friends saying goodbye as one of them leaves to start a new life on the moon. in true science-fiction fashion, the plan to help 'save the planet' is actually something that will just massacre everyone else but the elite.

i found the story really compelling. there's two sides in the city, separated by a border. on one side, there's the rich elite who live luxuriously. on the other side, the poor folk live in tiny shacks. this is a notion that is easy to piece together in the mind. it seems that esther and julian make a habit of meeting with each other at the border. though it wasn't explicitly stated, it seems like esther is from the rich side of the border while julian is from the poor side (maybe it is explicitly stated but i just didn't notice, oops). that beings said, though this is a short story, i think it would have been worth expanding on the friendship between these two characters. i found myself wondering how these two met, what led them to be friends, how long had they been friends, etc. i think the inclusion of these details would have helped throw a bigger punch in the gut of the reader at the eventual betrayal from esther.

esther is 'chosen' at random to be sent on a space ship to live on the moon and is saying her goodbyes to her friend julian. you do a great job showing the feelings of julian because of this fact. i think a lot of people sometimes struggle being happy for others, even if they're close to them, when something happens that they were wishing for themselves. julian berrates himself for feeling envious, and tries to be the bigger person and a good friend to esther. because these two seem to be such close friends, i wish the 'goodbye' was a little more emotional. julian can be envious of esther while still being sad that he will literally never see his best friend again. i think a hug goodbye would have fit in really well in this scene, or something like that.

after saying goodbye to esther, julian heads back home to see his dad. it's at this point where we get some more setting descriptions which really aid the reader in visualizing the sci-fi world. these descriptions are so important in works like these because it's meant to describe a world that there's no way the reader knows about it since it's created entirely by the author, so great job! julian discovers his dad is missing somehow, with foul play being a potential factor. he writes a note to julian explaining the truth behind the reinvention project. in this case, because it is sci-fi, i think it would have made a lot more sense for the dad to have recorded a video or an audio recording for julian to listen to. i think it's unrealistic that the dad would've had enough time to physically write all this down (writing takes a long time!). it sort of reminds me of that scene from monty python and the search for the holy grail when they are reading something on the wall that someone wrote as they were dying, and they literally wrote "ahhhgggg" as they died, sort of to poke fun at these types of tropes. if you did decide to switch it to a video recording too, there could've been a scene where we sort of get some glimpse as to why the dad disappeared or was in such a rush, which could be cool.

one of the most descriptive parts of the piece is when we see julian anxiously waiting to board the space craft. i really enjoyed reading this part and thought you captured julian's emotions really well!

the crescendo of the short story is when julian finds out that not only does esther know about the plan to erradicate humanity, but that esther was the one who suggested it. i wasn't surprised that esther knew about the plan; i just figured she didn't care. but when she said she literally suggested it my jaw dropped. i was like, 'wait whaaaat!?' so great job with that. that being said, esther mentioning that she was related to the creator of Reinvention felt really random. since these two were such close friends, shouldn't julian have known who her uncle was? i suppose this is a case where having more of the backgorund between the two character's friendship would have helped add more context and made this have a bigger impact. also, if she was related to the guy who invented it, that would mean the rest of her family was related too, so why weren't they picked to be on the ship??

another part that really shocked me as i read this was the fact that julian murdered esther at the very end. i literally had my mouth agape when you wrote that. i feel like the reaction makes pretty good sense. i also really like that he did it against the window, and the last sentence has the implication that the crack on the window will maybe break all the way and thus kill everyone aboard the space craft, i dunno, that was just my thoughts. either way, super cool and i really liked that detail.

overall, i really enjoyed reading this story. i think you should consider lengthening the story, with more background and build up i think this could totally go from a short story to a short book. thanks so much for sharing here!




Juhxi says...


I'm so glad you liked this story!! Thanks for reviewing my work and I'll definitely keep your suggestions in mind!




People with writer's blocks should get together and build a castle.
— Love