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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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140,144 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
POSITIVE:
Nice poem, indeed. I could actually imagine the whole scene.
NEGATIVE:
You've got a way with words, but sometimes, that isn't a good thing. Too many words (or in your case, wrong choice of words) may lead people to a different idea. It may also cause confusion.
Work on that.
RATING:
73%
Hey, here to review (pretty predictably)! :]
"Where hand and hand lovers stroll" < I would just recommend saying "hand IN hand," because at first I was like "hand...and hand-lovers? Hand-lovers? What on earth are hand-lovers??" Haha. XD
"white-washed," not "white washed" < Small grammar fix
"Where people not just stayed, but lived" < This is a bit of an awkward wording thing here. I would change it to "Where people not only stayed, but lived" or something similar.
Well in any case, I thought this was a pleasant poem to say the least. I love to see positive poetry now and then. I would advise not italicizing it and perhaps adding punctuation, but those are stylistic opinions and are completely up to you. All in all, this is a really nice poem. I almost wish that you'd divulged a little more on the emotional elements, but you've still done really well with this piece as a whole; honestly, I'm enamored with the images this portrays, so much so that I want to visit.