Young Writers Society

Hi, Ollie here! Let's get right into it.

What hides in the text I send?

Everyone reads the same but hears it

in a dozen different voices.

There a lie is a lie

and everyone will find out,

here a lie is clever: Here a lie will win the day.

I want to learn to sew.

I want to find my way to bridge these informations,

thread a line between my black and gray masks. Hammer out the

white, make the gray.

Hello, Shikora here with a review.

Let's get right to it.
I really like the way you start this poem out, It was really interesting, The lines all flowed together really well, and you put your punctuation all in the right places, and it gives it just the right flow. So well done.
I really like the name you chose for your poem, it got my attention right away, and that was really cool, it was nice to know you had that power over me, that just made me come and read your poem.
Put I did find one thing and I would like to point it out.

thread a line between my black and gray masks. Hammer out the

white, make the gray.

This is a very interesting poem, I really liked it! You had great word choice, and it was great! However, you sometimes you separated the lines in places it shouldn't have been, for example,
"Everyone reads the same but hears it
a dozen different voices"
That should be one line. Also, there should be a coma before the but. You might catch some of these errors if you go through one more time.
Other then that, this was a really good poem. Keep writing!

This is a very interesting poem, I really liked it! You had great word choice, and it was great! However, you sometimes you separated the lines in places it shouldn't have been, for example,
"Everyone reads the same but hears it
a dozen different voices"
That should be one line. Also, there should be a coma before the but. You might catch some of these errors if you go through one more time.
Other then that, this was a really good poem. Keep writing!