I have black blood,
I'm addicted to a certain kind of drug.
I spend nights trying to get my fix.
It's like I'm a clock and this is what makes me tick.
I don't write;
I create.
I don't read;
I escape.
Maybe I'm mad,
I'm definitely not normal.
I'm the intellectual descendent of Da Vinci,
So my artistic style is never formal.
I don't draw,
I record what I see.
I don't read music,
I use an instrument to express me.
Being artistic isn't going with the flow,
It's challenging the ideas society deems us to be.
It's drawing outside the lines of life,
And hoping your art makes someone see, the way you dream.
I am always trying to be,
Different.
So why has society deemed different,
Ignorant?
Ignorance is not not comprehending,
It's knowing but not showing.
Ignorance is to creativity
As the word feel is to the act of crowing.
There is no one way to be creative,
As there is no one way of being deaf.
We all have our different stories,
And we let our stories shape our being.
And creativity is just simply doing.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
Hi there Jony. Storybraniac here to review Black Blood. This is very interesting. I liked the whole poem but my favourite parts were
I don't write;
I create.
I don't read;
I escape.
Then
I don't draw,
I record what I see.
I don't read music,
I use an instrument to express me.
And
I am always trying to be,
Different.
So why has society deemed different,
Ignorant?
These were soo good. Usually I like the last part but this poem has three best parts. I don't see anything wrong here. And this is a very nice poem. Keep writing. A definite like from me.
---Storybraniac
Hola Jony, Subtle here for a review! I can't sum up how unique this poem is in just one sentence, so instead. I will do it by quoting a lot of the lines in here I liked.
You just summed up my life, in four lines. As that is completely and utterly true and I am sure, a lot of writers can relate to this. Because what you've written there it the true nature of creativity. So, I applaud you.
*grins* Ok, first of all. This is wonderful, the rhyme of normal and formal, and the use of Da Vinci to lead to the next line of your artistic style. Those crazy, artistic styles that we draw like stick figures and random scrabbles? Yeah, I can relate.
Oh yes, I love this as well. As long with everyone else written in this poem because it speaks out the truth. Society seems to damn all different people, they insist on being all and the same.
So, I can probably go on and on and on about how much I like this poem as it reveals the face of creativity to its best. This truly an art of creativity! I'm sure creativity would've been proud of you!
-S.s
Hello, hello, hello!
I absolutely love this piece!! I like how it rhymes in the very beginning and then it stops, like there doesn't need to be rhyming throughout the rest of it. I enjoy the comparisons in it as well.
There is one thing I would change and it's just a simple thing that I think would make it sound better.
I would just add the word "me" after you say express. I feel like doing so would make it flow better.
Other than that I don't think anything else needs to be changed; your grammar, spelling, and the way you broke the lines up is all good.
This is my favorite part because that is what being an artist and being artistic is all about; about not being perfect in the eyes of society, it's about doing your own thing and being your own person.
My favorite simile that you make is at the very beginning when you say
It's a good way of putting it, of saying that you need your fix.
The entire piece is fantastic, I loved it. There are so many things I can relate to in it, I feel like it just speaks to me.
Keep writing,
tkpejb
As I just saw a reviewer do, I will simply quote your poem, but with all the suggestions I have within it, so you can see it overall (take as many or as few as you wish):
Now for positive comments - I love the ending, it's very deep and insightful. I also love this stanza -
What a beautiful way to put it.
I'd suggest splitting this up into separate stanzas to make it flow better, but it's up to you. Thanks for writing
Hi Jony! GriffinClaw, here to review this lovely piece of yours!
First off, this is a very creatively written piece on creativity. XD I really enjoyed it. Some of my favorite lines are,
I read this and gah, that's me to a tee. I really loved this. I feel that a lot of creative people feel that their works are more than just expression. They are passion.
As for grammar and such, all I saw was when you said,
I was not sure what you meant here. It made little sense, so I wasn't sure if it was a spelling mistake? If not, please make it clearer.
Other than that, I really enjoyed this poem. I think it deserves a spot on the featured works. Congrats!
Keep writing and being amazing!
~GC
Thanks for the amazing review! And just to clear something up, there is absolutely no correlation between the word feel and the act of crowing, just like there is no correlation between creativity and ignorance.
First thought: Love it. Its dramatic, and really gets the point across. The message (at least the one I found in this) is we have our own way of doing things and we all have our own problems. Now to the problems I found! Well none really. There could be some different word choices, but other than that everything is perfect! Also, there is room for improvement, but for now this is an awesome poem and all I have to say!