Listen to the cries of one’s suffering,
Look into their eyes and see all the pain.
Feel the Mother Earth for she is dying.
If the world will die, nothing will remain.
Right now, we hear graceful sounds of crickets
And feel the warm sand within thy soft hands.
We see swimming fish and jumping rabbits
And sense peace with the skies, waters, and lands.
We would not want a gloomy destiny.
To hear riots and rackets, Oh nightmare
Grateful to be in a world that’s lovely,
One that’s clean, peaceful, and blessed with God’s care.
We wish this for future generations
Green economy’s continuation.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,238 Literary Works • 673,049 Reviews
Timmy here for a review!
So this was an amazing poem, full of vivid imagery and a wonderful story inside!!
Nitpicks
Ok, so that sums up my nitpicks!
Since this isn't really a compliment on your poem, I will state it here. I don't agree with those that say that human beings are responsible for Global Warming and the like. I live in a state where all we have is constant rain and warm temperatures in the winter. Ever since I can remember, its rain rain rain. We have two or three times a year where we get one inch of snow or so with 15 degree temperatures, but that's it! This year we have gotten a foot of snow on two separate occasions and record low temperatures in the -12 range... And then the green people say that its Global Climate Change instead... Their inconsistency is what really bugs me... They are politicians, vying for money.
Faving and Style
I will admit that this poem has some of the most beautiful imagery I have ever seen in poetry! Seriously. I really feel for Mother Earth inside this poem... Even thought it isn't Earth Day, this makes me want to go get out some shovels and start planting trees! You should republish this on Earth day! Then it would get even more attention that what it will receive now.
My favorite part...
Alright, that is all I have for you! Beautiful poem, and what a good poem to start off your YWS time!
~Timmyjake
Thank you for really taking your time on analyzing What a World. Its nice to know that it makes people take care of the earth even when its not earth day.
I understand your point when the "riots and rackets" just don't go along with the rest.
Thank you timmyjake
I'm not very good at analysing sonnets but I seen this poem and thought 'Why not'. Anyway, from my very small understanding sonnets are normally about love. They are love poems. According to an English lesson I remember in the distant past. So I liked how this broke the rules.
I can't help but feel that I've seen this poem before. Lately all I seem to be reading is poems about nature and how it's dying. Don't get me wrong some of these poems can create the most beautiful of imagery. For me this poem didn't have a lot of imagery only really this line:
I really wanted some more deep imagery since this poem was about nature in a sense.
However, I do really like the message you're trying to get across. I may not be the most greenest of people but I do try my best when I can remember.
All in all a nice poem but I find trouble really getting into it. It had some nice word choice too. My favourite line had to have been:
This line was great, it just felt pure and white for me.
Happy writing!
I appreciate that you tried reading What a World.
I made an English sonnet or Shakespearean sonnet that consists of 14 lines .
Hi there, I think it's really great poem and you used the right words for each sentences. But, you had that one misspell there;
"And feel the warm sand within thy soft hands."
'thy' it's just a correction but overall it's epic.
Thank you. How should I spell the thy?
Hi There.. So this was really well written. It flowed really well and had a gentle rhythm going on. I also felt there was a light imagery. Also your grammar is really good.
Overall 8/10
Harshita
Thank you for rating it 8/10!
This poem is amazing. The use in pain to open our eyes at the gloomy reality we live in is wonderful. I can see that you care a lot about our planet. Because it is really our only home.
Thank you for understanding the sonnet. Nature is really inspiring and writing is the best way to express yourself.