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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hi, I really liked reading your poem even, it was very interesting. I loved how you described the girl, that she her name was untold. To me it is like the girl is a nobody and she just wants to be noticed. That throughout the poem she just hopes someone will notice her, that her life will change. Then she's telling people to not be like her because she never tried to become somebody. Shes telling the reader to stand out and be noticed.
One thing I don't understand in the poem is the very end where you say "3Reply." What is that supposed to mean?
You also could have used some commas in the poem, or just some punctuation is general.
Like right here for example, when you said. You could have put a comma after each word, that's what I would have done. But feel free to not listen to anything I say if you don't want to.
"Thinking
wishing
hoping"
There are also some parts in here where I would also put commas.
"Praying
tomorrow will be better
nothing changed for her
She didnt try
so nothing came
dont be like her
Take Control
Make the change
3Reply."
Overall I really liked your poem and the story you told. It was very powerful and mysterious.
Can't wait to read what you write next.
Carpe diem,
LUNARGIRL
I had to copy and paste it from where i originally posted it that why it says 3reply, I will fix that <3
Hi! I am going to write a short review here. I loved the mysteriousness and how it makes the reader cling to every word. I think that there were a couple minor grammar mistakes such as "She didnt try" and some capital letters like
Take Control
Make the change
I don't know if those words mean something to you or not. I am not a huge poetry expert, I am used to reading novels so I don't know if it is some poetry thing or not. Anyway, that didn't have an impact on how much I liked it! I hope to hear more from you. Keep writing!
Hannah
Good afternoon/morning/night/midnight and whatever time you are in!
I am here for a quick review. I enjoyed reading this poem, it was mysterious and interesting in both ways. I liked how you describe the girl's name untold.
Here are a few things I noticed.
I suggest you use commas at these parts: "She didn't try" and "don't be like here"
Although it is okay not to use commas if you prefer it that way and that is just your way of writings things in poetry.
Before "nothing changed for her" you should use "yet", "but" or "still" since you are talking about the opposite part, she wished, prayed and hoped but nothing happened.
Lastly, what does "3Reply" at the end mean?
Hope you have a nice day~
Keep on writing!
~ChrisCalaid
Saturday, December 5th, 2020
I had to copy and paste it from where i originally posted it that why it says 3reply, I will fix that <3