Hi, I really liked reading your poem even, it was very interesting. I loved how you described the girl, that she her name was untold. To me it is like the girl is a nobody and she just wants to be noticed. That throughout the poem she just hopes someone will notice her, that her life will change. Then she's telling people to not be like her because she never tried to become somebody. Shes telling the reader to stand out and be noticed.
One thing I don't understand in the poem is the very end where you say "3Reply." What is that supposed to mean?
You also could have used some commas in the poem, or just some punctuation is general.
Like right here for example, when you said. You could have put a comma after each word, that's what I would have done. But feel free to not listen to anything I say if you don't want to.
"Thinking
wishing
hoping"
There are also some parts in here where I would also put commas.
"Praying
tomorrow will be better
nothing changed for her
She didnt try
so nothing came
dont be like her
Take Control
Make the change
3Reply."
Overall I really liked your poem and the story you told. It was very powerful and mysterious.
Can't wait to read what you write next.
Carpe diem,
LUNARGIRL
Points: 11781
Reviews: 117
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