Daily I have passed it by and by,
And my thoughts question it, “Why, oh why?”
A dashed line which divides the road
Imparts drivers to stick to a code.
But nothing of this is set in stone,
No law exists to enforce this known.
While true, a punishment will be due,
But simply put (as one might construe)
People may choose not to draw their breath:
What is set in stone is life and death.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Hey Jishbee ^^ Shina here to do a review
The first line seems to be missing a syllable.
.
The repition on "this" is confusing because the readers don't know what "this" is.
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Okay, this was a short poem and straight to the point, so there wasn't much to review.
However, I do have something to say about the rhyme scheme. It ate up some of your poem, especially with that drivers part. Choose meaning over rhyme
-Shina
This was just simply fantastic.Such a great idea was brought out in just a few thoughts so simply and effectively.
It really tells us how we people have been accepted general principles for rules in life.The poem clearly indicated rebellion about this fact and how we need to realize the only two existing truths which are life and death.It really motivates us to break invisible barriers in our mind.
The only slight problem was the second last line which adds confusion to the poem due to the capital P which makes it look like a different sentence.
Great work.