Cracks

by Jimmeniah

Published May 18, 2023

Mature Content

In Bad Poems

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The monument calls to the past.

A weak longing for borrowed strength.

The rock is exposed.

It screams.

For at the end of it all, it cannot hold.

And shakes itself apart

Comments & reviews · 5
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epotts1
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epotts1 commented Comment · Jul 10, 2023

actually i love the poem just as it is. It expresses the need for expression. And you did it in only a few lines. Also it goes into the fact that when unexpressed things crack or explode. Beautifully written and I like the cover image. Overall EXCEPTIONAL JOB keep on writing. :)

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wuckertrhea Comment
wuckertrhea commented Comment · May 24, 2023

I wanted to let you know what I thought about your poetry "Cracks." It had a significant impact on me. I was immediately drawn to your writing since each sentence was filled with so much emotion.

I was inspired by the first statement, "The monument calls to the past," which got me thinking about history and how the monument relates to it. It had a nostalgic air and appeared to be trying to explain itself.

The phrase "A weak longing for borrowed strength" conveyed a sense of fragility and a want for more. It got me to thinking on how, while knowing that it might not be enough, we frequently depend on others to assist us. basketball stars


The rock is exposed in the next two lines, ". It screams," made a powerful visual impression in my head. I could picture a strong foundation becoming exposed, exposed, and begging for assistance. It gave the poem a genuine, relatable tone.

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alpacaboss
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alpacaboss wrote a review Review · May 19, 2023

I really appreciate how amazing this poem is! It's so wonderfully done that I had to overanalyze it HAHAHA

There are many ways to interpret this poem, but I would personally interpret it as the effects of generational trauma. (Honestly I love how this poem can go in different ways. This is just one take I like :D)

"The monument calls to the past"
People are a result of the environment they have experienced. In a way, we are all monuments, built by the different people that matter most to our lives. Whether it's our parents, friends, or relatives, each had a say in building us up or tearing us down.

"A weak longing for borrowed strength"
For some people that didn't have it easy, they would borrow their strength from anything, anywhere, and anyone. This is a weak longing because their foundation (self-worth perhaps) is not grounded.

"A rock is exposed"
The trigger, basically. In other words, something happened that has directly impacted the foundation and stature of the monument

"It screams"
And this is the reaction. It manifests in different ways in real life. But these two words are the default reaction of everyone who is triggered by something.

"For at the end of it all, it cannot hold."
This hurts the most because it kind of reminds me how some things we hold to dear life are as unreliable as the weather.

"And shakes itself apart"
Self-destruction. Something that hits close to me, because it reminds me of how detrimental we can be to ourselves. Whether through our words or even through physical harm, we can be the ones that tear ourselves down at the end.

That's all. It's not easy to write something that is ambiguous yet specific at the same time. I hope my review is coherent lol

Overall, great job! Hoping to see more works from you in the future (no pressure tho hahah)! :D

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Roxanne
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Roxanne wrote a review Review · May 18, 2023

Aloha!

I wanted to share my thoughts on your poem, "Cracks." It really left an impression on me. The way you wrote each line with so much feeling caught my attention right away.

The first line, "The monument calls to the past," made me think about history and how the monument connects to it. It felt nostalgic, like the monument wanted to be understood.

The line, "A weak longing for borrowed strength," showed vulnerability and a desire for something more. It made me think about how we sometimes rely on others to help us, even though we know it might not be enough.

The next two lines, "The rock is exposed. It screams," created a strong image in my mind. I could imagine a solid foundation being laid bare, vulnerable and crying out for help. It made the poem feel real and relatable.

The ending lines, "For at the end of it all, it cannot hold. And shakes itself apart," made me feel a bit sad. It reminded me that even the strongest things can break and fall apart over time. It showed me that we have to find strength even when things change.

Overall, "Cracks" is a powerful and thought-provoking poem. It made me think about longing, vulnerability and strength. Your words and images created a clear picture and helped me understand what you were trying to say. It is a short but yet amazing poem.

Keep on doing what you do!


Me,

Red Riddle Rose

Hi!

Thank you so much for the review, it made me smile seeing such an in-depth breakdown of my piece. I want to continue exploring these feelings and I think your review is inspiring me to do so!

Thanks again!

I'm thrilled to hear that my review made you smile and that it inspired you to continue exploring those feelings. I believe there's so much more to discover and express, and I'm excited to see where your creative journey takes you next!

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Jimmeniah
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Jimmeniah commented Comment · May 18, 2023



Every empire tells itself and the world that it is unlike all other empires.
— Edward Said