This is abstract in the extreme. It was so very bizarre, but I took your advise, to ''lineorize'' and look at each sentence as a moment in a dreamscape. At least I think thats what you were saying. In any case, taken as singular moments strung together, rather then as a cohesive whole I find this, for the most part, to be very good.
I dont like the last paragraph/stanza though, I feel that whatever is achieved from the preceding paragraphs is lost here; I can't pinpoint why and am unsure as to whether that's a good or bad thing.
It boils down to: abstract.
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Canary word: Present
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
Guys,
In contemplating the remark about being generally abstract, let me throw out one more idea that I've been trying to formulate (and maybe you all can help me with this): IN dreams (and fairy tales) there is plenty of logic, but it is hardly rational logic. When approaching this, I wonder if it might be better to to see this poem/prose as more than a collection of details (since it a fragment of a dream) lacking irrational logic, or any other, for that matter. I think it requires a different lens than abstract versus concrete, since these concepts become moot when considering the dream, but I'm usually wrong. Please let me know, and again, thanks for responding.
All the best,
Brad
Hi guys,
Thanks for taking the time to read & respond.
I think you two are having problems seeing the forest for the trees--the most abstract (and indeed only true abstraction) part of this is "If you see him, don't blink. Or he'll stop bleeding. Or he'll dissolve into dandelion particles"--but even this is not a terribly difficult abstraction to connect with: waking up has troubled centuries of writers before us, and will continute to do so for centuries after us, as well.
I think what perhaps has you both "by the tail" is that, if anything, there is not enough abstraction in this piece (which is on a dream sequence). I'm not certain, though. Let me know about this.
Thanks again, and all the best,
Brad
Yeah, I'm afraid this is so abstract I have nothing to connect with and thus I can't get anything from the piece -- I'm not an avid fan of overly abstract poetry/prose, for that same reason.