Thank you so much June, bubbles, and Snoink! I really appreciate your comments. It will be difficult to maintain the rhyme scheme while making the poem more concise, but I will definitely revise it with that critique about repetition in mind. Also, the change in speaker is intentional, Snoink, but do you think that it may confuse the reader? Thanks for the link, bubbles, and thank you all again!
Points: 1046
Reviews: 9
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