Published January 6, 2011
Taken down, have some Lovecraft instead
At last far below him he saw faint lines of grey and ominous pinnacles which he
knew must be the fabled Peaks of Throk. Awful and sinister they stand in the
haunted disc of sunless and eternal depths; higher than man may reckon, and
guarding terrible valleys where the Dholes crawl and burrow nastily. But Carter
preferred to look at them than at his captors, which were indeed shocking and
uncouth black things with smooth, oily, whale-like surfaces, unpleasant horns
that curved inward toward each other, bat wings whose beating made no sound,
ugly prehensile paws, and barbed tails that lashed needlessly and disquietingly.
And worst of all, they never spoke or laughed, and never smiled because they had
no faces at all to smile with, but only a suggestive blankness where a face
ought to be. All they ever did was clutch and fly and tickle; that was the way
of night-gaunts
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,381 Literary Works • 674,386 Reviews
Thanx sherineahmed!
Glad you liked it.
(What's the use of putting age-appropriate signs anyway? I guess the only use of them is to warn the potential reader that there could be something disturbing there. Maybe we just need a 'disturbing' sign, hahaha)
i think you did a great job. i seriously like this part:
"Natalie nodded to the driver and closed her door. The taxi veered back into the main flow of the traffic. The inside of the cab smelled of sweat, pine freshener, and dusty old leather. And of the driver.
Natalie looked at the city outside the window and felt her stomach knot more and more. All was not how it should be. She wished she could define the trouble as everything looking unreal. Unfortunately the opposite was the case. Everything was far too real. More real than it had any right to be.
The sky looming over the buildings, the buildings looming the pavements… the nightmarishly irrefutable trees, the depressingly corporeal pedestrians, the terrifyingly substantial street lights… and the sickeningly indubitable pavements... without any warning all these sensory properties had grown to vibrate with a disturbingly authentic inherent existence, a clammy nauseating realness, which for some reason pushed and strained at Natalie and made her feel like a small, helpless child. "
well done!