Hi Jewel_!
Short, sweet, and to the point. A beautiful description and view of youth and old age. I totally agree with you!
Just a few quick grammar points and thoughts.
As her walking stick fell, she bent down slowly and carefully. Afraid that if she moved to fast she would fall, and well she may not be able to get back up. As her hand brushed the wood of the walking stick in an attempt to pick it up she noticed something.
The 'well' does not really fit for some reason. It broke my reading and was wondering what you were trying to say. "...she would fall, and may not be able to get back up." or "... she would fall, and will never be able to get up again." Also, there needs to be a comma here: "... pick it up, she noticed something."
Another thought, completely up to you because this is YOUR story, there is another way to make this sentence flow even more. Like a poem.
How happiness filled her with warmth, and she has memories tainted with sadness that made her think she wouldn't wake the next day.
You could try saying it this way, "... with warmth whilst her memories be tainted...". Forgive me if I am stepping on your toes, this paragraph was written beautifully. I'll just leave this with you.
Everyone around her could see that the marks and wrinkles weren't there to remind her of her age, instead, they were supposed to remind her of all the precious memories she made.
I love how you ended this, it takes away this 'I will die some day' feeling that old age brings. This is a shining gem in the dust of decay.
Remember, take what is helpful and throw the rest out of the window!
Well done! Great creativity idea! Can't wait to read more!
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