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16+

To Those Who've Been Hurt.

by JerrodeD


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

No outsider truly cares about a male’s well-being. No one understands how hard a man has to fight to pull themselves out of the dark place the world put them in. No one understands why many men don’t express their emotions and why they act like they’re fine when everything is falling apart.

I know what it’s like to be broken repeatedly at nineteen. I’m scared and I have no shame in admitting that, but people find shame that I am. I’ve been called and too emotional for being hurt by the people who claim to love me.

I’ve been called weak for speaking about the abuse I went through at home. I’ve been called weak and pathetic for not holding it in. That’s all the negativity people throw at me because they’re not in my situation.

I know half of them wouldn’t be able to make it. They would’ve ended their lives to moments things began to fall apart. They wouldn’t be able to survive after being betrayed and being broken over and over again.

I differ that a man who is broken is strong because they’ve been in hell. They’ve been in a nightmare they’ve been trying to get out of on their own. I don’t see them as weak because they’re fighters trying to find purpose.

I’ve had a lot of days where I opened my eyes with regret. A regret that I didn’t die in my sleep and left the world that feels like hell to me. A regret that I’d have to deal with the hurt people have caused me in life.

Around people I always smiled. I always make jokes to hide the pain. I always go out of my way to make them feel happy even when I feel dead.

I always hide the pain behind a smile. I fear that people will bash me for being open and honest and what I’ve been going through. I fear people will leave the moment I say I’m dealing with a pain I can’t explain.

I can’t explain the pain of being told to go kill myself. I can’t explain the pain of my mom letting someone she married treat me like a trophy. I can’t explain the pain of family turning on you before hearing my story.

In those moments it makes me feel like I’m locked up behind a wall. The chains around me are all the demons I’ve been fighting in my heart and mind. Feelings of not being worth anything and the fear that no one will truly care about me until I drop dead on the floor in my own blood.

I’ve had thoughts about ending my own life. I’ve thought about drinking so that my heart could stop beating. I’ve thought about submerging myself in water so no one could find me.

A lot of men feel trapped. A lot of them have stopped screaming because they feel no one hears their cries for help, but everyone else expects them to hear them. They expect them to be there for them, but can leave them when they need somebody the most.

To all the hurt men in the world, I understand. To all the people who’ve been through abuse I understand I hear you. To all the people who’ve been broken over and over again I hear all of you.

I want to tell you, you’re not weak at all. Don’t let the people around tell you’re weak because you can admit that you need help. Don’t let people around you drag you down because they don’t understand.

Don’t let the past follow you any longer. Don’t let it take away happiness and keep you in the dark place you’ve been fighting to get out of. We all have demons, but that’s not a reason to stop fighting.

You may feel empty and lifeless, but nothing lasts forever. You may feel like life will never change, but there’s always a reason to keep fighting. Find purpose within yourself and in the people who truly care about you.

Life will always throw something at you, but remember you can beat it. You can beat the demons you are fighting every day. Each day is a battle, but with each step, a battle is won even if it seems small to you.

You all are powerful. You are beautiful and strong even with scars. Those scars are apart of a story some will never know, but be proud that you live another day to share it with somebody who understands you.


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Sun Oct 29, 2023 12:42 pm
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ariah347 wrote a review...



Hello, JerrodeD! Welcome to YSW, and happy hauntings! Thank you for sharing this personal piece. It hits right in the feels. The way you have written this is similar to a motivational speech. It targets toxic masculinity with vitriol. We should not shame men for expressing themselves, whether deep-ceded emotions or not. We should not shame women for expressing themselves either, whether it is their sexuality or not. Shame period is not helpful to anyone.

I did find what I believe is a typo in:

I’ve been called and too emotional for being hurt by the people who claim to love me.


There are a lot of moments in this poem where you are sharing your own experiences. However, I believe, woman or man, some people relate to this, even if they have not had the same experiences as you. The definition of "hell" for you may be different than another, but pain is universal. There are no limitations or scaled weight needed for what counts as painful.

This line specifically I relate to:
I’ve had a lot of days where I opened my eyes with regret.


Overall, this is a powerful testament to your strength. I applaud you for uplifting others when you struggle to do so yourself. Bravo for writing an amazing, private, literary amazement! Wishing you well wherever you are in the world. With love, ♥︎a
/)/)
( . .)
( づ♡




JerrodeD says...


I did mention that to all those who've been abused to include women as well but I thank you for the kind words.



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Sun Oct 29, 2023 10:21 am
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Shia wrote a review...



Hello, fellow writer!
Hope you are having a great time and continue to do so for as long as you are here!

Your writing is so heart touching. From the beginning to end. Everything is so full of emotions. As this message is coming from someone who fortunately did not have to suffer through hardships like you, please pardon if my words come out to be rude. I definitely do not have such intentions. I salute you for your endurance as you have written quite correctly that many people easily succumb to hardships and end their lives. I am really glad you didn't. You are a fighter and the scars you have are signs of how brave you have been or have atleast tried to be. Thank you for seeing another beautiful day with us today. I am pretty sure you will find great friends here who will cherish you forever. Your last paragraph is especially heart touching and beautiful. In fact it shows how good of a heart you have as you reach out for your fellow beings and I am again proud of you for that. As you fight through each day, I hope you know there's atleast one person out there somewhere in the world who is glad that you won over that day and lived to see the next beautiful day and that this person is going to try to be there for you as much as possible. So never give up! Fighting!

Now if I come to review your writing, the separation of different paragraphs for different emotions is really great idea and prevents the readers from getting confused. Although writing about your emotions never really has a format, but this detail was well thought of. The simple small sentences also makes it quite easy to read!
It was a delight meeting you and getting to know what very little I can to know of you. Have a good day!





I am not a person I am a natural disaster
— TheWordsOfWolf