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Young Writers Society



Lonely Radio

by Jenthura


The grey sands whip by tirelessly, tearing at the proud facades of concrete buildings that once housed warm beings. The asphalt street is almost covered completely, and what isn’t is scored throughout with burn marks and stretch cracks. By the side of the road, a small, battery-powered radio sits, the LED’s fading to nothing, the speakers barely vibrating. Still, if you were to put your ear close to it and strain to hear, you would catch the faint whisper of some song, Classical music.

But now the music stops, and a voice issues from the radio. It is the voice of a dying man,

“It started on May 15th,” he says. “It was the end of the world. All of mankind knew it would come, but nobody knew when or how.”

He stops to draw a breath, and it rattles in his broken lungs.

“We could not stop the end,” he says, informing an audience of ghosts. “The fires and earthquakes, the explosions of our own creations. Our demise was sure.”

The radio crackles with static, or the perhaps the batteries have come to the end of their lives. But no, the voice returns and the radio soldiers on.

“Truthfully, there was no way to stop it.” The man admits. “Mankind has tried already to turn back the hands of Time. We have never failed so badly as now,”

The radio crackles again, and, as if the man knows the last radio of the world is dying, he hurries on with his message.

“I do not think anyone else is living now,” he says. “But if there are, and if you’re listening, I’m at the base of the Empire State Building in New York City. I have food and some water, but really…we will just die together…”

He pauses a long time, and the static threatens to drown him out.

“…Or not…”

He gasps, and the drawn out breaths mingles with the harsh coughing of the radio.

Finally, it sputters, and dies.

The radio is left alone at last, able to rest after shouting nonsense to human ears for so many years. It is able to peacefully contemplate the state of the world now, but it does not.

It is a radio.

A lonely radio.

Spoiler! :
This is a contest entry for 'Let's Get Apocalyptic', an awesome contest that I almost failed.. I left it off for far too long, and only just now wrote it in the YWS submission box. XD

Anyways, I know it's pretty bad. I just didn't want to fail another contest.


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Sun May 01, 2011 5:17 am
Azila wrote a review...



Hi. Are you going to hate me for bringing this back? Yes? Sorry. I added it to my reading list when you first posted it and I didn't get a chance to review it until now. Since it's review day, I thought I'd finally check this out.

I'm gonna be a bit nit-picky, because this is so short... so bear with me.

Still, if you were to put your ear close to it and strain to hear, you would catch the faint whisper of some song, Classical music.
This kinda bothers me: using the word "song" to describe classical music is a little... insensitive. Also, the form of this sentence is awkward. I'd suggest something more along the lines of: "Still, if you were to put your ear close to it and strain to hear, you would catch the faint whisper of some faint piece of classical music." Okay, that's not great either... but you get the idea, right? Right. Onward.

It is the voice of a dying man,
Period, not comma. I love the words, though; very powerful.

The radio crackles with static, or the perhaps the batteries have come to the ends of their lives.
Obvious enough, aye?

%u201CTruthfully, there was no way to stop it.%u201D The man admits.
The "T" in "the" should be lowercase, and the period after "it" should be a comma: %u201CTruthfully, there was no way to stop it,%u201D the man admits.

We have never failed so badly as now,%u201D
Period, not comma.

He pauses a long time, and the static threatens to drown him out.
Pauses for a long time? Maybe? Maybe not.

---------------

Overall, I liked this. It was simple and... rather cute, really, for an apocalypse. I liked the sentiment of it and I think you did an excellent job of building up suspense without making anything overdone or cheesy. And the end was strangely touching, in an empty, hollow sort of way. Nicely done, Jenth. Official Azila Seal of Approval.

There's not really much to discuss about this because it's so short, but I'd agree with Lava and say that a wee bit more description would be rather nice. What little you did have is quite nice, but... there's just so little of it! I want more.

Sorry for the unhelpfulness of this review. I like this piece, and I think it's nicely simple--too much overanalysing wouldn't do it good.

a




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Mon Apr 18, 2011 2:47 am
Jenthura says...



Thanks for the comments, guys! I know it has no mistakes or errors, crazyhippo, but that's because it's so short. I was able to go over it again easily, correcting any mistakes.
Lavs, yeah, it's rushed...but that was in the disclaimer. ;) I wish now that I hadn't put it off for so long. >__<




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Sat Apr 16, 2011 7:47 am
Lava wrote a review...



Hey Jenth!

I'm guessing the contest's done, but I'll just drop by with my thoughts.

So, first off, cool premise to start with.
I would've loved a couple lines more on the into. It seemed to start well and then rushed to show Mr. Radio. I like the way you did it, but maybe a little bit more.
And maybe something like how the man found reception, and how did he know which station and stuff.
Next thing is, even if there are a few alive, how is the music being played on the radio?

Anyway, good story. :)
Gut luck!




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Thu Apr 14, 2011 3:35 pm
crazyhippo wrote a review...



Not much I can say about this. A very well written piece, all gramatically correct and I can't see any mistakes in terms of spelling. The mood you've created is really suited to the storyline, and it leaves the reader wanting to know more about what has happened to mankind. Futhermore, i loved the little bit at the end about the lonely radio, and the idea about it shouting nonsense to the world was an interesting move.

Great stuff!





Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
— Mark Twain