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Interesting poem. I feel that what you are speaking about in this poem is a little bit deeper than what it appears to be. In the first stanza, you describe something that sounds like any ordinary shadow. It has all the characteristics of a shadow. Then the second stanza, you contradict the idea of what a normal shadow is by saying it is something only you can see. This leads me to believe that it is not actually your physical shadow that you are talking about.
Onto the third stanza, the shadow takes on characteristics that make it seem alive. This part about how it tries to "unravel all my secrets" suggests that this shadow is some form of guilt or regret that is bothering you.
Fourth stanza, you state that you do not budge because this "shadow" will overcome you. That further strengthens in my mind that this is indeed some form of guilt, regret, or depression.
Fifth, you state that you aren't happy or sad about this shadow's existence. To you, having this shadow there is just life.
Then, of course, the last stanza, you tell us what this shadow is that you are speaking of. It is "the shadow of [your] life." This affirms what I believed.
So in conclusion, this poem is about how no matter where you go, the decision's you've made, whatever they were, and the things that have happened in your past, assail you no matter what. No one else can see this shadow, only you, and you constantly have to fight it off, or else it will take you over.
5/5 Good job
(btw, when I saw "you" I mean the speaker in the poem.)
-The Phantom.
o.o
Whoa, lol. That was actually exactly right. Oh, you are good... You. Are. Good.
Hi Jenna
Beautiful poem you have here! I feel a lot of emotion coming off this. I love the way you composed this piece.
I have a few suggestions for one of your stanzas:
I love the first two lines, but the third and fourth just throw me off.
I suggest for the third, you take out the "It is" and leave it as "Something only I can see". When you have the "it is " in the sentence, it makes too many syllables, so when I read it in my mind it is challenging to make sound right.
For the fourth line, I don't know what to say. I think it is just too short. I suggest you ether try to find a different word, or extend the sentence some.
Also, you had a minor typo with "Born". There is no 'e'
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For this stanza, I would say to take out the comma on the first line after the "Sometimes". With the pause there, I have a hard time reading it. I believe it would sound better if you took it out.
I love how you rhymed this one, though.
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Again, I love the way this one rhymes, but I think you should take out the comma after "am" on the second line.
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Overall this is a very good poem, with just a few rough spots. Most of your rhyming was spectacularly done, but your punctuation was a bit off.
Great job, and be sure to keep writing!
~Rainn
Lol. Thank you
Your pointers helped, and I changed it a bit. But I can't change "borne". It's actually supposed to be how it's spelled, showing that the "shadow" was given to me, much the same as a woman bears children - or has a child "borne" to her. Again, though, thank you!
Oops on my part lol