Placing her car in park, Noah leaned her head back and sighed, letting her eyes slide shut. It was 3 pm on a Thursday, and she was about to have her first coffee of the day. It was an outrage, being deprived in this manner. Today had been hectic and crazy from the get-go. Waking up late, dealing with a cranky boss and crankier customers, and all this with no caffeine! She was just glad she'd gotten out of the office early today.
With another sigh she unclipped her seatbelt and got out of her car, making sure to grab her coffee tumbler and computer bag. Her days and the people she dealt with weren't always this bad, but when things went wrong, everything seemed to happen at once.
She opened the door and was greeted by the familiar tinkling of the bell and the barista on duty. "Hi Tami," Noah said, returning the greeting. "Can I get an iced vanilla latte please? And a chocolate chip muffin." Paying the woman behind the counter, Noah took the muffin and moved to claim a table, quickly setting up her laptop. She always preferred to work on her boss' website outside of the office, taking advantage of the time to clear her head and get away from her desk for a bit. Considering that she was now a manager of the small woodworking company, she had the freedom to do so.
She worked in silence for a few minutes, nodding her thanks when Tami brought her coffee, then returning to her work. Their online orders were increasing, and while someone else managed the basic orders, it was her job to handle any custom orders and create relationships with new customers. She'd just gotten off the phone with one new customer when someone approached the table.
She looked up into bright green eyes and a hesitant smile. "Hi," he said softly. "I'm Kaeden Flynn. I just overheard part of your phone conversation, about your work, and wondered if you could spare a few minutes?"
Noah considered Kaeden's question for a moment, a part of her wondering if this was some new line in coffeeshop pickup lines. Pushing the thought aside, she pointed to the chair across from her. "Nice to meet you, Kaeden Flynn. I'm Noah Black. I think I have a few minutes to spare." She closed her computer as he took the offered seat and cleared his throat. "Now, what can I do for you?"
"This might seem a little forward, but I was wondering if you have a job opening? I actually came here hoping to post a notice on their board to let people know I was looking for work." She noticed his hand fiddling with his coffee cup and wondered if he was nervous. She stored this information away for later consideration. "I am correct that you work for a woodworking shop, yes?" At her nod, he continued. "What kind of work do you do?"
"We do smaller projects, mostly. Though we will consider large items for established customers or those who come with excellent references. We do furniture items like chairs, tables, and even headboards for a bed, custom carvings like plaques, or even small specialty items like a personalized name plate, jewelry box, or an elaborate cabinet. Basically, almost a little bit of everything." She smiled at Kaeden. "My boss, James Garner, started his business right out of high school, and it's really amazing what he's been able to turn it into. Tell me, Mr Flynn, what kind of experience do you have?"
She could visibly seem him perk up; she wasn't sure if it was due her interest in hearing him out or his excitement to share what he could do.
"My grandfather taught me how to carve with chisels and small carving knives when I was a kid. We worked together whenever I went to visit him, right up until he died when I was 13. I kind of fell away from the hobby after that, but recently I had...opportunity to uh, get back into it a bit. I was never an expert, but I did learn a few things and it seems I haven't forgotten everything I learned. I'd be honored if you could get me an interview, Miss Black." He fell silent and watched her, waiting for an answer.
He reminded her of a kid eagerly awaiting his parents' permission to spend the night at a friend's house or something. Kaeden was certainly no child, but she did appreciate his genuine desire to find work and marked it as a point in favor of his character. There was something...nervous about him, but it wasn't enough to set off any alarm bells just yet.
"Okay, Mr Flynn. I'll get you an interview. Incidentally, I'm the manager and in charge of new hires, so you'll be speaking to me," she grinned at him. "We're not actively hiring at the moment, but you have experience in the field, and you seem eager for the job. Something tells me I'd be a fool to just write that off." She grabbed a note and pen, scribbling on it as she spoke. "I can't do it today as I've got a mountain of work to do, but come to this address, Garner Custom Woodworking, tomorrow at 10 am, and I'll interview you, show you around, and introduce you to James." She handed him the note, which he eagerly accepted with a grateful smile.
"Thank you so much, Miss Black. And please, call me Flynn, everyone does." He glanced down at the table, his face turning earnest. "Thank you, really. This means a lot to me."
She stood and offered her hand. "You're most welcome, Flynn. And you may call me Noah, Miss Black sounds much too formal." He shook her hand, his strong and calloused, obviously not unfamiliar with hard work. "I'll see you tomorrow at 10." He nodded and turned to go.
She watched him exit the building, considering the exchange. She had a feeling there was more to this man than met the eye. He was earnest and straightforward, sure, but she also felt he had secrets. She just hoped those secrets wouldn't lead her to regret her decision. Because she already knew that she was going to hire him tomorrow morning. There was just something about him that led her to believe he'd be a good fit.
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I thought I'd publish my first piece before reviewing. Just as a way to insert myself into the community here and get a feel for how things work.
If my brain cooperates, I'll be publishing more on this, as I've got so much more of Noah and Kaeden to write :)
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,817 Reviews
Hi Jeni,
I'm really amazed, as some other people have already said, that you were able to make such a plain story seem so interesting. This story is virtually about nothing interesting or out of the ordinary at all, but it was still so interesting. This is not a criticism at all, and not to call this story boring.
This story kind of reminded me of an exercise I once did in a class - where you're supposed to take an everyday, mundane task and make it interesting. Have you ever done that exercise? You'd be very good at it
Overall, I'd like to see you apply your writing skills to something more out of the ordinary - maybe slowly expand into other areas of realistic fiction?
Great Job!
Hi there!
Welcome to YWS! We are happy to have you here and already contributing.
I feel like you have already done some revision to the piece, and that's much appreciated because it makes it easy to read. I'm getting the feeling that this isn't really a short story, because you don't actually have much a plot to go by and it's too calm. There's not action that draws me in, and there's a feeling of balance and levelheadedness throughout the entire piece. For me, short stories are far from being levelheaded and balanced because you truly only have so much time to get things going. Of course, I didn't realize any of this until I got to your Author's Note at the end.
There is some very ordinary about this work. Usually, I really dislike ordinary pieces, but what's unique about yours is that the ordinary is almost off-putting because, in fact, there is actually something extraordinary about the ordinary here. You've done a good job with the tone and atmosphere of the piece.
I would like to advise you to spend a little less time on dialogue. Your dialogue is actually pretty well balanced with the narrative. However, when there is dialogue, it's in large chunks and this is a bit distracting and unclear. I might encourage you to be careful with this, because economy of words is important in prose just as it is in poetry (although, certainly not to the same extent).
I've enjoyed reading this, and it's quite sweet. I'm looking forward to reading more if you get the chance.
All the best,
Lavvie
Thank you for the thoughtful review, Lavvie! I appreciate it so much.
I'll definitely take what you said into consideration and apply it to the next chapter. I'm going to flesh out the settings and provide more insight into Noah's thoughts, and add some backstory as is needed.
And what you said about the ordinary is really quite touching, thank you for that. This is my first time writing something like this, where I'm actually planning on having chapters. As such, this will not be an exciting piece, it's just going to be a pretty ordinary story about these 2 people and how they clash and get along, how they interact with each other and how that will change them.
This is me exploring novel writing and how to create characters with real personalities and flaws. So reviews are extremely helpful.
Thank you.
I'm glad I could help a little
Keep in the loop, okay? I would love to see how this develops.
I love this story! I am definitely interested in reading more!
Some things I liked about it were:
1. The background that you give to explain the situation. It is so vivid and flows super well!
2. The engagement. It's literally just a job interview schedule, but I was hooked! The characters and pacing really played a part in that.
Something I do believe you should work on is imagery. It's kind of a small thing, but I couldn't quite imagine the scenery or the characters very well.
Your story is great otherwise! Let me know when your next part comes out!
Keep writing, please!
I"m so glad you liked it! Thank you.
re imagery: Yes! This struck me later on. I was so occupied with writing their interaction, I didn't really take the time to describe what they or the shop looked like. I'll definitely include in the next chapter.
Welcome to the site! Congrats on your first piece, it's an interesting little story - that kept me interested through the end. I hope you continue your writing.
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it!
Aww, I like this so much. You should totally write more!
Thank you! And I'm definitely planning on it.