Ode to Texas
Born; April 20th 2002,
Died; Sept 11th 2009
As I Cantered
As I cantered on Texas I felt so free
Like a sailor would feel on the open sea
My love was the wind rushing past my face
My love was the hills and the wide open space
The freedom to go so fast and so long
With nothing and no-one to tell me I’m wrong
My heart would always skip a beat
At the sound of Tex’s cantering feet
The special ways he had took my breath away
“Texas I love you” is what I used to say
You’re with me no more but we’ll always be
Partners forever, Texas and me.
No matter where you are.
No matter how far.
I will always love you forever to the stars.[center]
Texas’s Last Breath.
As in memory of Texas, I think you should know,
That it all just goes to show,
Everything is not yours to choose,
And everything you can always loose.
I was cantering along a river shore,
But for Texas it was just too big a chore,
He fell down on the ground,
And with his last breath, he whinnied his last sound.
Just before he died, I said one last thing to him.
“I will never forget you. Never.”
I then knew he had left me forever.
As I looked back at his limp body,
I made sure that in my heart I will always save one last beat for him.
For all the good times we had,
I love you, my little lad.
No matter where you are.
No matter how far.
I will always love you forever to the stars
I took your advice, is that better?
Oh my, now I feel so sad, because I am a horse lover. Is this a true story? No-wait, do not answer.
Maybe because I like horses is why I do not see much to be changed, but here I go:
This could be, #FF0000 ">"Texas I love you," is what I used to say. because he is talking.
His Last Breath
This could be changed to #FF0000 ">Everything is not yours to choose because it sounds a bit better and helps the flow.
That could be changed to #FF0000 ">But for Texas, this was just too big a chore, because, #FF0000 ">bigger just adds a bit of redundancy since "too" describes the degree of the chore, and this new sentence seems to flow with the poem better
You could also use a bit more pauses in a few areas, but overall, very good poem! I would like to see more!