From the day we met
In that music theory class
You applauded as I played piano
The room was dull and full of silence
But then
I heard the applause
Smiled to myself looking back
I saw you and only you
It was as if it was just me, you, and the piano
As I had touched your soul with the way I played
I had struck something
Some sort of chord in you
But clearly I struck something or even somewhere in you
Because somewhere deep down I knew
My playing was worthy of
Your Applause
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138,124 Literary Works • 672,071 Reviews
The imagery of the music theory class and the piano playing adds depth to the emotions conveyed. The contrast between the dull and silent room and the sudden applause creates a sense of surprise and joysuika game. The poem conveys a sense of validation and the importance of recognition for one's talents and abilities.
Hello! Just wanted to give a short and sweet review for you.
First of all I like the emotion and the feeling that the speaker has throughout the poem. It is simple for us to connect and really understand what they're feeling at the moment. I especially like the line "My playing was worthy of/ Your Applause"- It's a really cool title drop.
I think this is a very sweet poem! Have a lovely day!
Hey thought I'd drop by with a little review. As always: take what you like and discard what isn't helpful!
I think you've done a really good job of catching that feeling of connection that filters out the whole world around you, aswell as the feeling of joy when you feel seen by someone who you have strong feelings for for.
And I particularly like this bit:
I think you've done really well here to drag the context of the music in and use it as a metaphor for what you wanted to express this person. All the while using a phrase that we all recognise and scans so easily. It's really well done.
If I was to offer some improvements, I think you could take the symbolism of the music for your feelings and really play around with it some more. Dig deeper into expressing all the turbulence you'd been feeling while playing and how it might align with your feelings for this person. You could even drag in the piano as a metaphor as well. But then again, I'm a sucker for symbolism.
Overall though I think you've done a great job of expressing that strong romantic feeling. Good work and keep up the writing!
Hello! Leya here with a review!
Firstly, I loved this piece. It was short, straight to the point, and easy to understand. You didn't overdescribe or underdescribe and I appreciate that.
I couldn't find any grammar mistakes in this, so let's focus on the wonderful content!
This is a beautiful love story between two people who have mutual things in common. The fact that this person made the other feel comfortable and mighty while they performed is the classic lovebirds scenario.
My favorite line would have to be:
I love how you related this line with the whole overall theme of this poem. Nicely done!
Overall, this is a beautiful piece and I can't wait to read more. Happy writing!
With Love,
Katya
Hey Jaygg! I hope you're having a great day! looseleaf here with a review.
I absolutely love this poem. It flows so nicely, and you paint a beautiful image. As a piano player, I wish this would happen to me. I have a few little nitpicks that aren't very detrimental to your piece, it's just grammar and the like.
This line is a tad confusing. I think it would be better if you reworded it to something like "Smiling as I looked back" or "Smiled as I looked back" would read more clearly. It throws off the flow of the poem a bit because I had to read it twice to grasp what you meant to say.
Just some grammar: the second "It" should have a lowercase I, and there should be spaces before "you" and "and." In my opinion, being consistent in your grammar and punctuation makes the poem look nicer. Please feel free to disregard this if you meant to do it.
This poem is so lovely and proper, so using "sorta" completely throws off the vibe since it's considered slang/verbal language like wanna. I would use "sort of" or just say "Some chord in you."
Otherwise, this was an incredible poem and one of my favorites that I've reviewed on YWS. Poems like this make me want to become a better poet because, genuinely, this was amazing. Feel free to ignore any of my advice that you don't agree with; it's your work.
Have a wonderful week and keep on writing! I'm looking forward to reading more of your stuff in the future. :)