Hello mate! I am here for a quick review 
My home is falling apart.
The walls are collecting as much debris as possible
Before collapsing.
This starting sentence is absolutely fantastic, and the way these lines tie together is lovely. Very strong start to a strong poem. Lovely! If I had a critique for this section, it would be that "as possible" sounds a bit off here - I can't quite put my finger on it, though.
I put no effort into rebuilding or supplying for my house,
And the pain I feel
Rewards me still.
I’ll keep going, too.
My place of residence crashes
Until there’s nothing left
But the framing and floors.
But the emptiness fills me
And the attention fuels me.
This section is so wonderfully beautiful. This extended metaphor of your body as a house is so well done here. It's written in a very personal and conversational style, so the combination of the literary techniques and this style come together to create a wonderful insight into the narrator's mind.
I’ve seen others,
Whose shells have withered away
And leave them subservient
To the aches of the world.
This change in subject is smoothly done and works so well in a poem like this - a sort of train-f-thought, story-telling method that you've perfected here. This is painfully beautiful. My only critique is that "leave" should be chanaged to "left", as in "have left" - expanding on the "have" in the second line of this portion.
But these skulls validate me
And their bones thrill me.
This is undoubtedly my favourite section of this poem. It's perfectly and beautifully written and serves to show exactly how messed-up and twisted this issue is, this willing destruction of the self. It sets the reader in your mind while letting them know exactly how your perspective has changed.
Until my home is too far away to save,
And I’m left to waste away with the walls
Of what used to be
The most precious thing to me.
This is an utterly fantastic and incredibly strong way to end the poem, showing the regret and consequence of the narrator's choices. The only critique I have is that, despite this being a poem, general sentence structure should still apply, and this itself is not a complete sentence; instead of ending the section before this in a period, you could simply end it without punctuation. If this doesn't work, you could also just delete the transition word "Until".
Overall, this poem was painfully beautiful and incredibly written. You did a fantastic job describing the horrors and genuine experience of an eating disorder. The reader can really feel the pain and the internal conflict throughout the poem as your story is told. Fantastic job!
Keep writing!
Points: 390
Reviews: 103
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