Young Writers Society

Hi JasmineFelicia! Atticus here with a quick review for you.

All right, a prompt story! I find stories inspired by daily prompts really cool, because different people take it in different directions. It's also a great way to practice writing skills and exercise the "writing muscle".

And the story itself did not disappoint! I found the mood (the vibes, if you will) of the story to be well-crafted and relatable. The word choice in your story helped to create the atmosphere of nostalgia and comfort. Words and phrases like "nostalgia", "ached for", "innocence starts falling away", "greeted her eyes", "refreshingly happy", and "floated" all contributed to the nostalgia and warmth of the story. Beyond that, the theme of returning home was refreshing and enjoyable and made for a fun-to-read and heartwarming story. Your pacing was also spot-on, not too rushed but not too slow. Your characterization showed a lot of potential as well, but I don't feel like I've read enough of the story to really comment on that.

One suggestion I do have for you is to work on showing, not telling. What I mean by this is rather than showing the reader a piece of information indirectly, like through description or dialogue, you state it outright (tell). Two examples of this can be found in two of my favorite writing quotes:
“You don't write about the horrors of war. No. You write about a kid's burnt socks lying in the road.” ― Richard Price
or
"Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." -- Anton Chekhov
I hope that helps to illustrate the importance of showing instead of telling! This is one of the biggest things I wrestle with in my own writing, and I'm of the position that overcoming this is a life-long battle that writers face lol. Here are some spots it jumped out to me in your writing are:

Eljun happened to be somewhat of a tourist town, but for Maeve it was simply home

The figure (her brother) approached her and hugged her tightly.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

Maeve stood, gazing at the train rolling away from the station. Life had a way of deserting you where you least expected it. Certainly, Maeve did not expect to end up at the town of Eljun. But that is where she was. With a sigh, she walked out of the train station. Eljun happened to be somewhat of a tourist town, but for Maeve it was simply home (as well as a very unexpected place to be). As she walked along the familiar streets, passing signs she knew nearly by heart, an ache filled her heart. I would call that nostalgia. But Maeve really thought it was more of an "ache for younger days when everything made sense", which I suppose is fair. Aches are like that sometimes. As she considered what age it was she ached for, she came to the conclusion that it must be from about five till ten, though at ten most innocence starts falling away. . .It should not be so soon, but alas, the world.

Finally, she got to Blue Mint Blvd (horribly named in my opinion. Neither Blue, nor Minty, though occasionally the tea shop nearby that street did emit a mildly spearminty smell). Anyway, On Blue Minty Boulevard, Maeve entered a house with the number 60 hanging clearly on the door. She didn't knock, because there was no need to. It was home. She left her suitcase at the door and mounted the steps in the foyer. Upstairs she walked down an unusually long hallway, to a nearly open room. And by nearly open I mean that it was also nearly closed. Maeve hurried in the room, smiling. A bright yellow glow greeted her eyes, not only from the figure in the room, but also from the refreshingly happy wallpaper. A cool breeze floated in from the open windows, gently ruffling the curtains. The figure (her brother) approached her and hugged her tightly. He literally glowed with happiness.

Tears filled Maeve's eyes, "You're back!"

Not a review, but this looks like an interesting project! The narrator's voice stands out to me - it seems to be an outside, but non-objective point of view (the narrator has a lot of opinions on things in the story). The themes that struck me here are home and family. The tone of the story seems to go from dramatic to slightly humorous, especially with the comments in parenthesis. Is the narrator also supposed to be a named character?