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The Beginning of All

by JaequazaTube


It all began at the beginning of time and space, when the first beings were created. When the big bang had begun, energy had condensed into two separate forms, the Creator and Azathoth. One born of positive energy, the other negative energy. The two clashed within the void for millions of years, sometimes ceasing the fighting to rest and think. Through this, energy dispersed across the universe, forming rocks and stars in space. Eventually they split up, aiding the energy into combining into matter across the universe. Creator eventually created two other entities, as did Azathoth. The Golden Goddess, the Shining Titan, the allies of the Creator. Praneadea (Latin: Destroyer+Spider+Goddess, Diaferceps (Latin: Devil+Hell+Ruler) the allies of Azathoth. The atoms became to form universes, and those universes formed multiverses. Universes with similar events, places, people, or objects are grouped within these Multiverses, but smaller multiverses grouped closely in ‘existence’ were called Universe Clusters. Time travel, a concept of traveling through time, is achieved by moving millions of miles per hour, opening a temporal tunnel that connects all of time. You’d select the moment you want to go to and jump through, but this is how you escape your universe. If you can move fast enough beyond the wall, you can breach your universes walls, and end up in your multiverse. A black void of many universes, once you breach that void, you enter infinite space. Those Multiverses exist in all of Existence, a place of billions of Omniyears. Omniyears are the largest known measurement in existence, representing 100,000,000 light years. Universes/Multiverses themselves are usually different colors and breachable at high speeds, the bigger the universe/multiverse, the harder it is to breach. Universes CAN exist outside of a multiverse, but typically they are large and located near clusters, or similar worlds. Millions upon millions of countless years, life began to sprout. Earth, Triwarz, Azra, Ligrey, Planita (Latin: Planet+Life) and many more began to host life of all shapes and sizes. Earth was a special place however, it was the only place all the elements occurred in one palace at once. Each planet went through mass extinctions, and eventually intelligent life had evolved across the worlds. Thousands of years apart, they used their resources to their advantage, making technologies the stars would once meet. Earth was the newest, but that didn’t mean it was the weakest. All these planets had energy, formed by the elements, and this planet had all of them. The elementals were born.


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Points: 126
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Fri Jun 18, 2021 1:04 am
Tttu06 wrote a review...



Hello there! Just wanted to leave a review!

Very interesting story on how the universe was created. I found it hard to follow through with the structure and formatting of the story and sentences. The title is creative and certainly very fitting. Those measurements that were made up by you were a nice touch.

Overall neat little story and I look forward to your other works. :)




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Wed May 12, 2021 6:09 pm
MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi JaequazaTube,


Mailice here with a short review! :D

You wrote a great creation story. With a title like "The Beginning of All", you're also immediately attuned to something like that.

Creator eventually created two other entities, as did Azathoth.


I would rewrite it a bit, since you use the term create twice, or at least add a "the" to the beginning of the sentence, since it seems like Creator is a proper noun.

Praneadea (Latin: Destroyer+Spider+Goddess, Diaferceps (Latin: Devil+Hell+Ruler) the allies of Azathoth.


Your previous sentence and this one seem a bit weird and more like a listing. I would rewrite that a bit so it reads more smoothly in text form. I love how you named them here, but don't know if it's such a good thing that you included the inspiration for it. I would have paraphrased it a bit like "in a long forgotten language, this is what the name meant." Or something like that.

You have created a very exciting creation story. I like it because in some places you go into great detail. But in other places it still seems a little flat, or put differently; it's still like after the big bang. Sometimes you jump from one point to another, which means that the reader is not quite there yet. For example, one point you talk about mulitverses and universe clusters and the very next you go on to time travel.

I think that's the biggest thing I have to criticise here; the structure. It's a huge chunk of text that tells a time span that probably lasted several million years. It's easy to lose track in this universe of words, and I think you should make a new paragraph for each "major event" to give the reader a chance to pause and think about what you've written. Because it seems like you quickly wrote down everything that came into your head for fear that you might forget it again.

However, I like the way you describe things beautifully from the beginning, and it seems like an ancient text that would be revered as a shrine. You can see that you are trying to combine science, mysticism and religion, which I think is beautiful. I like how you look for inspiration in the various mythologies and create your own deities. You've portrayed your imagination well, despite the somewhat chaotic set-up.

Have fun with your writing!

Mailice.




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Wed May 12, 2021 5:11 am
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!!

First Impression: Oooh now that looks like its quite an interesting little story of creation. A little on the smaller side so lemme just get right down to the details down below.

Anyway let's get right to it,

It all began at the beginning of time and space, when the first beings were created. When the big bang had begun, energy had condensed into two separate forms, the Creator and Azathoth. One born of positive energy, the other negative energy. The two clashed within the void for millions of years, sometimes ceasing the fighting to rest and think. Through this, energy dispersed across the universe, forming rocks and stars in space. Eventually they split up, aiding the energy into combining into matter across the universe. Creator eventually created two other entities, as did Azathoth. The Golden Goddess, the Shining Titan, the allies of the Creator. Praneadea (Latin: Destroyer+Spider+Goddess, Diaferceps (Latin: Devil+Hell+Ruler) the allies of Azathoth. The atoms became to form universes, and those universes formed multiverses. Universes with similar events, places, people, or objects are grouped within these Multiverses, but smaller multiverses grouped closely in ‘existence’ were called Universe Clusters. Time travel, a concept of traveling through time, is achieved by moving millions of miles per hour, opening a temporal tunnel that connects all of time. You’d select the moment you want to go to and jump through, but this is how you escape your universe. If you can move fast enough beyond the wall, you can breach your universes walls, and end up in your multiverse. A black void of many universes, once you breach that void, you enter infinite space. Those Multiverses exist in all of Existence, a place of billions of Omniyears. Omniyears are the largest known measurement in existence, representing 100,000,000 light years. Universes/Multiverses themselves are usually different colors and breachable at high speeds, the bigger the universe/multiverse, the harder it is to breach. Universes CAN exist outside of a multiverse, but typically they are large and located near clusters, or similar worlds. Millions upon millions of countless years, life began to sprout. Earth, Triwarz, Azra, Ligrey, Planita (Latin: Planet+Life) and many more began to host life of all shapes and sizes. Earth was a special place however, it was the only place all the elements occurred in one palace at once. Each planet went through mass extinctions, and eventually intelligent life had evolved across the worlds. Thousands of years apart, they used their resources to their advantage, making technologies the stars would once meet. Earth was the newest, but that didn’t mean it was the weakest. All these planets had energy, formed by the elements, and this planet had all of them. The elementals were born.


Okay...quite a nice and epic little start to universe...well I suppose a whole multiverse actually if you look at it..xD. Aaand well, this is quite nice, definitely makes for a really cool little story there about creation, and it looks like there's been a lot of thought put into that backstory right there as well what with all those custom measurement types and then talking all of these separate beings that are formed and are forming these things. The mini latin lesson there in the middle is useful but I think personally it would be a lot better if you put that in a separate spot after the story itself or it tends to interfere a bit with the overall flow of the thing. Other than that, this would also definitely benefit from being split up into a couple more paragraphs here, keeping it all as one big chunk makes it a little bit harder to read here and figure out as the sort of stages play out. Well other than that, not much else for me to really say here...except well...'twas a cool little story aaand that's it for this time. :D

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall I think this makes for a pretty interesting little story, and I enjoyed reading it. Well...anyway, until next time. :D

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Tue May 11, 2021 2:05 pm
BlueGlow wrote a review...



An intriguing alternate history of the Universe to be sure. Sort of Lovecraftian in nature, with it's cosmic gods and their influence over the universe. However there are a few problems " Eventually they split up, aiding the energy into combining into matter across the universe" This sentence seems to need a bit of work, perhaps changing it to "Eventually those stars died, breaking apart and creating new elements across the universe" another small problem "The atoms became to form universes" minor grammar error here. There are a few other issues I noticed, mostly involving grammar and sentence structure so I'll save us both some time and say, give this a proof read or two, maybe even let a few different people read it and give their commentary. All in all, an interesting beginning to what I hope is an interesting story. Good work! Keep it up!





Just think happy thoughts and you'll fly.
— Peter Pan