I'm still walking down that road
You left me on
Where I ran out of the building
Hiding meaning under excuses
and hiding tears in the rain.
I still stop and look down the road
To your house
Where I laughed at things I loved
Leaving honesty behind insecurity
and my beliefs in the city.
I'll still remember all of you
From yesterday
Where I couldn't tell you anything
Forgetting to speak my mind
and forgetting that you're alive.
I'll still try to help you
Instead of me
Holding hands with myself at night
Pretending I'm okay with this
and that nothing ever matters.
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Canary word: Present
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125,015 Literary Works • 672,848 Reviews
i think its awesome, yeah there are heaps of poems like this but it doesnt make it any worse. if the author was writing it from their feelings then i think it wont matter what form the poem comes in, as long as it portrays their emotions and gets the message through. also sometimes having a last line that just lingers like that and isnt anything 'powerful', can make it strong.
nice work =P
Yeah - lots of poems. Also I didn't find the last line all that powerful.
I have to agree with piepiemann22 that there ARE a lot of poems like this ... even though it's a pretty good poem. Thing is, in order to pull of a poem that has a very unoriginal theme, you have to present it in an original way. Try unique imagery, comparisons ... anything to make your poem different from the rest.
First, add punctuation it makes it flow and sound better. It isn't anything new. There are a lot of poems like this.