Irony,
we all live it.
Often we try to avoid the future
only to have it creep up from behind.
Fate,
we all must face it.
Just because we deny it's existence
doesn't mean it's not there.
Pain,
we all experience it.
That what we fear most
is what we dream of facing most in the end.
Love,
we all crave it.
Finding that special person though
is not a mission for the faint of heart.
Death,
we all know it.
As the sands of time fall
we grow ever closer to the end.
We all try to run from the unavoidable future,
fear the pain of loosing those dear,
but even though death is certain,
fate as yet to draw it's final hand.
Live.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,855 Reviews
Thank you all for your advice. Truth is I wrote this rather late at night and now that I'm well rested I do notice the things everyone has pointed out. I could explain some things as to how it all does fit together, but I know if I have to explain it to people I didn't do my job as a poet. I'll work at fixing it after my midterm today. Again, thank you all.
~Spades
I think I understand what message you are trying to get across here.
Are you trying to say that we should just not worry so much about life, and just live it through? Well, anyway, that's the message I got from this.
I think the most powerful word in this poem is the final word, for sure. Live. Someone could easily overlook it, and yet it is, in my opinion, the underlying message from the poem.
Now, don't get me wrong, I really liked how there were four parts that talked about a certain word. What I fail to understand, however, is how irony fits into all this.
Now, as I see it, Irony is the only word that had its own segment that isn't really incorporated into this last passage.
I see love, obviously, fear of losing those dear.
And "death is certain" makes sure death is in there.
Fear and pain also make their way into this final passage.
Now, I just can't see irony in this last passage, not written or implied.
And one last thing.
To me, this doesn't sound right. Did you mean fate has yet? It would just make more sense to me.
Anyway, great job. Keep it up!
Hi Jack! Again, welcome to YWS! I enjoyed this poem.
However, I couldn't really see any connection between the seperate words. Sure, they are written and described in the same style and verse, but how were they connected into one larger story? Reading it the way it was, it felt very fragmented and hard to follow. I also didn't understand the 'live' at the end. It felt sort of out place and it didn't flow well with the rest of the poem.
I have one word of advice for you. Either try to find something to string your bare pieces of cloth together, or distribute these as seperate poems. However, I shall 'like' this, and please PM me if you have any questions!
-Elinor
Good ideas and written well. But I feel like your overall flow with.. "we all crave it.Finding that special person thoughis not a mission for the faint of heart." could be explained better