Published September 27, 2009
I wrote this last semester for my playwriting class. It needs work, and lots of it, so I thought I'd see what you all thought.
I'm linking to it instead of posting directly, because of the way it was formatted and its length.
I hope you can all access it. If not, I'll find another way to do it.
Enjoy!
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This was lovely. It felt so claustrophobic and strained, like it was going to explode any minute. I think the formatting had a lot to do with it, so I actually really appreciate you linking to it. It helped the effect so much (and YWS isn't always format-intensive-work-friendly).
Some things felt very vague, but it actually worked.
The dialogue felt a little stunted sometimes. It felt perfect for First and Second, but sometimes it was distracting for the other characters, the way they were so artificial. At the same time, it added to the effect as well. The whole thing felt so strange and yet beautiful.
Really, very lovely. I was picking up some serious "1984" vibes, along with just general dark sci-fi themes. It just felt classic and timeless. I got sucked in right from the beginning and was hooked the whole time.
What exactly is the Theory? It keeps being mentioned and is disproved by the end, but I'm curious as to what it is...
All in all, a thumbs up from me. Very nice.
~GryphonFledgling