A Human Reflection

by J_hippy

Published September 26, 2007

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Comments & reviews · 2
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SeraphTree
Review
SeraphTree wrote a review Review · Sep 26, 2007

The language you used is very beautiful, especially with the part when he is dancing. Also, writing in 2nd person is unique. ^-^

There's a bit of conflict with the imagery though: Adam says he's in a club, then walks down a corridor to a dance hall. This makes me think of either a secret passageway or some sort of palace. When he walks in there, and begins dancing, I imaging a grand, sweeping room with an area for an orchestra. Maybe some more description of the club would make things more clear.

Also, with the mirror... is Adam thinking to himself, or is the mirror magical? How do we know it's magical? How can we tell? Does the mirror talk to everyone, and tell stories to get them thinking?

At the beginning, he says he's never been to a club before, though he considered it. What prevented him from going there? Again, details would be helpful. :)

Beautiful, beautiful language though. Really swept me away when I read it. :roll: I would like to see more of your work sometime :D

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greenjay
Review
greenjay wrote a review Review · Sep 26, 2007

:? I'm confused...:P. Just kidding. All I can really say is good job. It was a good thoughtful story that made a (I guess) good point.

-greenjay



Why is my dog your fig father????
— JazzElectrobass