Love in War

Hello fellow writer! Ley here to write a tortoise-y review on this amazing work you've published! This is a new review style that I'm using only for the month of June, in spirit of the Great Tortoise Race! Let's get started, 'shell' we? xD

Shell Start:
Wow! This piece was extremely deep. The exploration of a soldier's turmoil while being away for duty is a very heavy thing, especially since he was yearning for a loved one at home. I'm sure this poem touches the hearts of many, especially veterans and their families!

Favorite Leaf:

A man who cries at war.

While the ground roars beneath him

Enraged countries fighting under the watchful moon

As She watches a sober who sobbed for his far away love, too.

.

‘I want to come home

And see your face again.’

That was all he wrote

Until the page burns into nothing

along with him as well.

These last two stanzas were incredibly hard to read, not because of anything bad, but because I started to tear up. It was especially beautiful how you ended the poem, especially the last line. This gives us themes of heartbreak and thinking of loved ones in your last moments, and I'm sure many soldiers feel this exact way when practically signing their bodies away to fight for their countries. This poem was absolutely beautiful! </3

Shell Fractures:
There was absolutely nothing wrong with this poem, and nothing I would suggest that needs changing. <3 (I just wish there was a happy ending of some sort, ahh! It's definitely a tear jerker xD)

Overall:
You encapsulated themes of pain, dismay, struggle, and desperation in this piece. I really enjoyed reading it! Thank you for sharing and I hope to read more of your work soon, especially if it's anything like this poem!

Thank you for taking the time to read this review! I hope to see you join the race, and keep being awesome! Happy Writing~

Hey, here for a review and I am so glad i clicked on it. the emotions i felt from this piece are indescribable but i will try.

I was meant to watch the lands.

I was meant to guard my men

And yet I was watching the stars

Praying to hold your hands once more.

These lines!!! they are portrayed so beautifully. the ache for the loved one is so raw. you know your responsibilities and you're performing them with everything in you but still you can't help but miss that one person, actually it could be more than one and it could be anyone, your family, friends , your spouse, your children. but you are going to stay on the front and protect them and your people.

Fearing this could be my last word;

To describe these feelings the alphabet cannot.

how heart-wrenching this is!! you have described this incredibly. the feeling needs no alphabets or words, they just need to be felt.

‘I want to come home

And see your face again.’

That was all he wrote

Until the page burns into nothing

along with him as well.

He died .whyyy? this is so sad. we knew that this would happen eventually but still it hurts.

overall, its a great poem, keep it up.
excited for more.
thank you
lolita