"Forgot the Cold"

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The black limbs of sorrow are
Dragging me down
Can't believe my loss has made me
Move away from town

Going back to the forest
My birthplace, home of old,
Where I grew up and played
And forgot the cold

It's lonely and dark here
Empty and dusty in my cabin
But I remember the old days
With the never-ending din

Going back to the forest
My birthplace, home of old,
Where I grew up and played
And forgot the cold

My family's gone,
Friends have deserted me,
My love's taken
By someone I don't wanna be

Going back to the forest
My birthplace, home of old,
Where I grew up and played
And forgot the cold

Forgot the cold, oh

Forgot the cold.

Going back

To the forest

My birthplace, home of old,
Where I grew up and played
And forgot the cold

Forgot the cold

I forgot the cold.

Oh yes, I
Forgot the cold.

Left it behind,
And forgot the cold.

Forgot the
Cold.

Comments & reviews · 4
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I absolutely loved reading this, it's almost magical in a way, but it's better than that. I love the fact that the repetition made it work more often than not, and I'm personally a fan of repetition, but I really enjoyed this.

You should definitely keep writing.

That is really good :) I liked it a lot. It had good rhythm and diction. You got your point across very well. I like how you repeated lines. It made it seem more important. Good job :) Keep writing :)

User avatar
MikaFreak123
Review

I think is really good, I like the title and the repeating of I forgot the cold.
But to me, it seems lacking in emotion. Like, you were writing with your emotions tucked away or something.
That is just my opinion though.

Even I have trouble with emotion in my writing, I worry about the vulnerability and as such, harsh comments and feeling down within myself. But when you put your whole into your writing, people will know. They will notice it straight away and it will shine. Try giving it that extra "umph!" haha :)

Good luck! Keep on writing :)

User avatar
kikialicia31
Review

Oh my gosh! I just loved it! I wish I could heard it sung. I found myself singing it even I don't know the notes. I think it's great. I enjoyed reading and singing it. I hope that you will write more.


Good luck and keep writing,

Alicia.



Every first draft is perfect, because all a first draft has to do is exist.
— Jane Smiley