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Chapter 5 part 2 of 2

by Irishpride13


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

Part 2.

James paused, hand hovering over the ignition where he had just turned off his bike. The AI's voice in his ear was unexpected but not unwelcome.

"Wait, check the saddlebag. During this incident, Dr. Sophie left us some toys," Legion prompted, a hint of intrigue in her synthesized tone. "Augmented reality (AR) glasses will connect to the hard point behind your ear, and they have their own battery."

Interest piqued, James strode over to the saddlebag and unlatched it. Inside, nestled among the usual contents, lay the AR glasses—a sleek, unassuming design that belied their probable complexity. He picked them up, examining them closely. They felt lightweight, the material cool and smooth to the touch.

Slipping them on, the glasses powered up at the contact with his skin, instantly syncing with the neural interface. The world around him gained an additional layer of perception. The edges of objects became crisper, and data tags appeared next to several items in his field of view, offering information at a glance.

He looked over the spaceport through the lens of augmented reality. Points of interest were highlighted, and navigational prompts then disappeared so they werent Intrusive.

"Those scientists enjoy her 'toys,'" James mused, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

James made his way toward the gathering area where Rear Admiral Jackson would be waiting, his new AR glasses settling comfortably on the bridge of his nose. The augmented reality overlay provided subtle enhancements to his vision, ensuring he could absorb his environment without distraction. With every step, he grew more accustomed to the flow of information Legion was seamlessly integrating into his sight.

The spaceport was abuzz with activity, personnel moving with purpose and machines beeping rhythmically, orchestrating the symphony of productivity that thrived in such hubs. James navigated through the bustle, his presence commanding yet nonchalant, an echo of his years in command that naturally carved a path for him through the crowd.

As he approached the designated meeting point, he spotted Rear Admiral Jackson, a figure of authority and experience, her gaze sweeping over the area until it settled on him. She raised a hand in greeting, a brief smile crossing her features before she resumed her professional demeanor.

"Captain Hunter," she greeted as he approached, extending a hand. "Good to see you up and about. The brass is eager to hear about your recovery, and quite curious about the tech we've integrated into you."

James halted abruptly, pivoting on his heels to snap to attention and deliver a proper salute.

"Admiral Jackson," he responded crisply, "the technology is indeed impressive. Legion has already begun to prove its value as an asset. And regarding my recovery, I am driven by the strongest motivator—duty."

As Admiral Jackson returned the salute, James's mind lingered on the name 'Legion', the identifier for his cutting-edge AI companion. At that moment, Legion materialized within his AR glasses, her avatar performing the universal shush gesture, signaling secrecy.

In a whisper that only James could hear, Legion spoke in his head, "Oh shoot, sorry. We departed before full briefing. I'm classified, top-secret. While Admiral Jackson is aware of the implant upgrade, the details... those haven't been shared fully."

Her avatar, still visible only to James, continued, "I'm a top-secret asset, as she stated. Unless Admiral Jackson says the code word ‘Arkham razor’, you are not permitted to discuss me or any specifics about your new implants."

James conveyed his position to Admiral Jackson with a level of directness and professionalism that was expected in their line of work. "Admiral, I would be happy to discuss the implants with you, but at this time, I am not permitted. It's a matter of code word secrecy," he explained, his tone indicating the seriousness of the protocol.

Admiral Jackson, seasoned in the ways of military secrets, simply nodded in understanding. Her experience had taught her the delicacy and necessity of such confidentiality. "I trust that if it's critical for your health or our operations, you'll inform me," she said with a pragmatic tone. "Otherwise, I understand the need for discretion. I'm sure I’ll be briefed on the details at a later time."

Her response reflected the trust and respect inherent in their working relationship. She recognized the importance of adhering to security protocols, especially in situations involving advanced and potentially sensitive military technology.

Admiral Jackson's gaze rested on James with an air of command and expectation. “Now, get to your dressing room and change out of those battlefield fatigues. Put on your dress blues. We’re about to unveil the USS Valiant, and I want you looking sharp for the occasion,” she instructed firmly, yet with a hint of anticipation in her tone.

The mention of the USS Valiant sparked a sense of pride in James. The unveiling of the new vessel was a significant event, symbolizing not just technological advancement but also the resilience and continued strength of their fleet.

He nodded in understanding and respect, "Yes, Admiral," he replied, saluting once more before turning to head to his dressing room. The transition from his battlefield fatigues to the formal dress blues would be more than just a change of clothes; it was a shift from the ruggedness of combat to the solemnity and honor of a ceremonial role.

As he walked away, the weight of the moment settled upon him. This was more than just a routine ceremony; it was a testament to the progress and capabilities of their forces, and he was a central figure in this new chapter. The USS Valiant wasn’t just another ship in the fleet; it was a beacon of future military endeavors, and he, along with Legion, was at the forefront of this new era.

As James walked toward the dressing room, his mind drifted through the tapestry of his past. Memories of leading Marines, the pivotal tour of duty that had earned him commendation and a path to Officer Candidate School, his transition to the Navy with aspirations of command – these were the milestones that had shaped him. He had always aimed to be the change he believed in, to make a tangible difference.

Yet, amid these reflections, darker memories surfaced – the haunting loss of comrades, the brutal murder of Ricardo right before his eyes, the harrowing image of his bridge crew being torn apart. These were the scars he carried, the painful reminders of the cost of command and the realities of war.

Caught in this whirlpool of past triumphs and tragedies, James's resolve wavered. Doubts crept in, whispering questions about his readiness to take on such a responsibility again. His heart raced as the past collided with the present, overwhelming him with a torrent of emotions.

In an unguarded moment, his defenses crumbled. "Really, is this happening now? Shit, shit," he muttered to himself, his voice a mix of disbelief and panic. His chest pounded, a rapid drumbeat echoing the turmoil within. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he collapsed into a nearby chair, his hands clutching his head. Flashes of the past screamed through his mind, each memory a sharp jab against his composure.

In this vulnerable state, James was a stark contrast to the composed officer who had stood before Admiral Jackson moments ago. He was human, after all, grappling with the shadows of his experiences. It was a battle as real as any he had faced on the field, a struggle for inner peace amid the chaos of remembered horrors.

Legion's voice, usually an unobtrusive presence in his mind, now cut through his swirling thoughts with a mixture of softness and stern urgency. "James… James…" she began gently, trying to reach him through the fog of his panic.

Then, as his turmoil showed no sign of abating, her tone shifted, becoming firmer, more insistent. "God damn it, James, you've been through hell, but you're a born leader!" Her words, though virtual, carried the weight and intensity of a battle-hardened commander. "So, nut up, face aft, and march on, Soldier! For fuck's sake, you're a Marine."

Her words, blunt and raw, were what he needed to hear. They echoed the inner strength he possessed but had momentarily lost sight of. This was more than a pep talk; it was a call to arms, a reminder of his identity and his resilience.

James took a deep breath, feeling the tension begin to ebb away. The memories were still there, as vivid and painful as ever, but Legion's intervention had reignited a spark within him. He was a Marine, a leader, and he had faced adversities before and emerged stronger.

James's voice was tinged with a mix of resignation and reflection. "I'm not a Marine anymore," he started to say, his thoughts trailing back to his past.

But before he could further dwell on the distinction, Legion interjected with a sharp decisiveness that brooked no argument. "But there's no such thing as an ex-Marine. You may wear a Navy uniform now, but the attitude stays the same."

Her words, cutting through his self-doubt, were a stark reminder of the ethos that had been ingrained in him. The Marine Corps' values and spirit, the discipline and resilience, were not just a part of his past; they were embedded in his identity, shaping the leader he had become.

James paused, absorbing the truth in Legion's interruption. She was right. The uniform might have changed, but the qualities that made him a Marine – the commitment, courage, and honor – were still very much a part of who he was. They transcended the boundaries of service branches.

With this realization, a renewed sense of purpose washed over him. He straightened his posture, his mind clearing. It was time to embody the principles he had learned as a Marine and carried into the Navy. It was time to lead, to inspire, and to face the future with the unyielding spirit that had brought him this far.

Captain James Michael Hunter emerged from the dressing room, transformed. He stood tall in his Navy dress blues, the uniform pristine and sharply tailored, a symbol of his rank and the responsibility it carried. The ribbons and decorations adorning his chest were not just colorful adornments; they were a testament to his dedication, his sacrifices, and his achievements.

With every step he took, there was a renewed sense of confidence and purpose. The earlier turmoil, while not forgotten, had been refocused into a steely resolve. He was a leader, a protector, a warrior who had faced the darkest depths and emerged ready to continue the fight.

As he walked, his gaze was forward, his mind clear. The weight of his past experiences, both triumphant and tragic, lent gravity to his demeanor, yet did not burden his stride. Instead, they served as reminders of the journey he had undertaken and the path that still lay ahead.

James knew the unveiling of the USS Valiant was more than a ceremonial duty; it was a representation of progress, a beacon of the future of naval operations, and he was at the forefront of this new chapter. With Legion's silent support, he was ready.


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Sat Dec 30, 2023 11:40 pm
Spearmint wrote a review...



mint again, here with another review! ^-^ It was nice to learn more about James, his background, his values, and his personality in this chapter. I also enjoy meeting new characters, so I liked seeing his interaction with Admiral Jackson! Something I'm wondering about is the main conflict, however. I assume something will happen at the unveiling of the USS Valiant, since that seems to be the biggest upcoming event (or maybe not!), but I wonder if you could slip in some hints that something might go wrong earlier. (Like James or Legion briefly noticing something on the way there.) Of course, this might not work for the direction you want to take your story in! But just some thoughts. :]

Alrighty, and on to specifics...

The edges of objects became crisper, and data tags appeared next to several items in his field of view, offering information at a glance.

Sweet! I like all the advanced technology in this world.

In a whisper that only James could hear, Legion spoke in his head, "Oh shoot, sorry. We departed before full briefing. I'm classified, top-secret. While Admiral Jackson is aware of the implant upgrade, the details... those haven't been shared fully."

Hmm... Something about all this doesn't strike me as completely right. From the beginning, the whole Legion and implant process has seemed unconventional. Legion hacking into James's link, them not informing him of the prosthetics upgrade, and also not informing him beforehand of Legion being top-secret... It seems unprofessional. Makes me wonder if something's going on here. >.>

The mention of the USS Valiant sparked a sense of pride in James. The unveiling of the new vessel was a significant event, symbolizing not just technological advancement but also the resilience and continued strength of their fleet.

Ooh, I can't wait to see the USS Valiant! (Or, well, read about it. xD)

Caught in this whirlpool of past triumphs and tragedies, James's resolve wavered. Doubts crept in, whispering questions about his readiness to take on such a responsibility again. His heart raced as the past collided with the present, overwhelming him with a torrent of emotions.

Ah, this was a really emotional, realistic moment for James. As much as being a captain has brought him fulfillment, he has experienced much tragedy while in his role. ;-;

Sweat beaded on his forehead as he collapsed into a nearby chair, his hands clutching his head.

Is he in a public area? Did anyone see him or rush over to try to help him? It's absolutely understandable that James isn't thinking clearly enough to notice anything like that right now, but I think it'd be good to slip some of those details in beforehand. It seems like the spaceport is crowded, so unless James moved to a quieter area, I'd assume some of the personnel would come over to ask if he's alright. (Or maybe not, if James is more subtle about collapsing into the chair?)

Her words, blunt and raw, were what he needed to hear. They echoed the inner strength he possessed but had momentarily lost sight of. This was more than a pep talk; it was a call to arms, a reminder of his identity and his resilience.

(Just a note that you should probably change the rating of this to 18+ for the f-bomb.)
Legion really proves herself as a partner in this section. I do wonder whether she could've released more dopamine instead, but I think her speaking to James and reminding him of his identity works stronger as part of the story. I look forward to seeing their partnership continue to strengthen!

It was time to lead, to inspire, and to face the future with the unyielding spirit that had brought him this far.

Yesss. Empowering moment!

Captain James Michael Hunter emerged from the dressing room, transformed.

It's a small detail, but I appreciate how you wrote the Captain's full name here. It gives gravity to the moment and emphasizes how he's recentered himself.

The ending of this chapter leaves the reader looking forward to the future. Overall, nice work! Thanks for the chapter, and I hope you have a great day/night! =D




Irishpride13 says...


thank you for the words of wisdom and encouragement



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Sat Dec 30, 2023 9:10 pm
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PKMichelle wrote a review...



Hello friend!
I am here once more to check out the final chapter you've posted so far!


Per my interpretation, this was, you guessed it, another stellar chapter! The chapters are building off of each other really well, even if they skip time frames from time to time, which is really impressive!

James and Legion are attending the unveiling of the USS Valiant when they are greeted by Admiral Jackson, causing James to tell her things that he wasn't supposed to, prompting Legion to speak up and stop him. And this wasn't the last time Legion was helpful. It helped break James free of his panic and convince him that he was still the captain the world needed.

This was a great second part to the fifth chapter, and we learned a lot about how James thinks!


If I could offer any sort of advice, it would once again be related to spelling and capitalization. There was just a small mistake when you were talking about the AR glasses. You said,

Points of interest were highlighted, and navigational prompts then disappeared, so they werent Intrusive.


But "werent" should have an apostrophe, and "intrusive" should be lowercase to look more like this:

Points of interest were highlighted, and navigational prompts then disappeared, so they weren't intrusive.


But, obviously, this is just a suggestion, and it's always up to the writer, so please take this criticism lightly and know that I mean nothing negative by it—only trying to provide a somewhat useful critique.


If I had to pick my favorite part, there would be exactly three! There were three great things in here that really stood out to me!

The first was the way the AR glasses are somewhat realistic and kind of already happening now. You said,

The edges of objects became crisper, and data tags appeared next to several items in his field of view, offering information at a glance.


I found it really cool and quite interesting how technology like this is being developed in the real world and how you showed how advanced it might be one day. It kind of gives me a bit of anticipation for the future and makes this story seem more realistic, both in really good ways!

The second thing is the way you gave Legion a personality and made her/it more than just an AI, saying,

"So, nut up, face aft, and march on, Soldier! For fuck's sake, you're a Marine."


The fact that Legion is able to be as convincing and moving as an actual human is really neat! It adds depth to Legion and shows how complex she really is, so kudos to you for being able to do that!

The final thing that really stood out to me was how Legion and James truly complement one another and make each other better. This was especially shown when you said,

James paused, absorbing the truth in Legion's interruption.


The fact that Legion can make James realize things he never would have before without being too invasive or controlling is really impressively written! It shows your skill as a writer and makes this so much more fun to read. They have an interesting relationship, Legion and James, and interesting relationships are great ways to draw readers in, so good job with that!

So many amazing things!


Overall, this was another great chapter, and I really hope you post the next one because I desperately want to know what happens with James and the crashed escape pod. You're clearly a very talented writer, and I look forward to reading more from you!

Thank you for taking the time to write and post this, and I hope this review is of some use to you!


Goodbye for now! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!




Irishpride13 says...


thank you. Grammar I'm good..ish with but proper punctuation is a challenge. thank god for google for spelling




You wanna be a writer? You don't know how or when? Find a quiet place, use a humble pen.
— Paul Simon