My cat, Choobee

Hi IntelligentQuill! June here!

Cats are my absolute favorite animal (if my avatar didn't give that away already), so anything involving a cat is sure to be an instant favorite of mine.

I think the overall premise of the poem is generally adorable, and your rhymes are very cute, but I would have liked to see this delivered in a more cat-like narrative. You know how some words have connotations that remind you of things? Take the word purr-- most people would automatically associate that with a cat, even though it could refer to the sound an engine makes.

Nevertheless, this poem makes me smile. The only thing that could make it better is more chobee cat antics.


Best of luck! Happy review day,
June

Lol. I love this. The best thing about the poem is the tone and voice of the persona - which is the cat. This voice carries the entire poem, and it's so convincing that you made me believe that all cats would talk like this, if they had voices. However, try not to be so linear. Think of other ways of including information (about the cat and its relationship with the guy), but don't be blatant about it. Good job though.

This is such a good poem!

Even I have a cat so I can relate to this poem
I love the cat's name

Keep the good work and write more!

I think this poem is very good and I can imagine what the poem is saying but next time try to make the sentences have an embedded clause !

this is good. good use of rhyming and expressive words. this poem really touched my heart and made me think of choobie. i would like to meet choobie. tell him i say hey. i really love how you have used certain words that make you think about what their true meaning could be. you are very imaginative and i really enjoyed reading this poem please keep posting so i can read more of your work.

Hi IntelligentQuill

I’m here to review this work 

While your title is straight to the point, you could give a better title, Necessitous Feline, for example (I know that was a horribly crap example). Just remember, the title of any work is usually the first thing that draws a reader in.

I’m guessing you posted this piece to either get feedback or to entertain. Either way, you’ve done your job. Yet, there are some mistakes that I’m wondering if you did on purpose. We all know internet cats speak strangely, which to say the least, is absolutely adorable.

However, your very first sentence confuses me. Is the word ‘asleep’ meant to be ‘sleep’? Or did you purposely keep it that way to keep the kitty a little cutey?

Also, suddenly there are two owners instead of the one young male, where did the other come from? Then at the end there is one again.

Another thing is that you’re randomly grabbing any word that rhymes and sticking it in there. May I suggest you get the help of a trusty rhyming dictionary.

That’s all I can see down with the work. Other than that, it was pretty well written, and since you wrote it at such a young age, I'm very impressed. I can’t wait to see what you've written recently. Hope I wasn't too harsh. Plus this is my second review ever so... ~ Lee