Published December 23, 2012
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141,298 Literary Works • 674,338 Reviews
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I really LOVE THIS but I have a couple of things to review...
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1. Put in more detail. Like, about the monster part.
2. Put in a space in between each line. like for example:
What if I could only feel?
What if I could only hear the screams and weeping sounds?
Like that...
3. Nothing Else
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I really really liked this but you should edit it a teeny tiny bit more...ok? Hope I helped.
~Free~
I really enjoyed this. The way each line is a question really gives it a certain punch that I like. The imagery is quite dark and haunting, but well written. To me, this poem has a sort of "ignorance is bliss" theme that really gets me. I love the ending too, about the daughter's skin and the son's baseball game, because it really contrasts from the earlier graphic descriptions. Coupled with the last line "What if I was Blind?" makes for a powerful ending. All in all, this poem really made me think. Thanks for sharing!