At first, I thought it was interesting. You use 'I'll go this way, you'll go that way' and we were kind of excited to find out who you were so p'd-off at. YOu have this whole thing and then bam- 'Your my mom' which is grammatically incorrect. so we have this huge suspension going and then- oh. Right. I have to agree with Incandescence- a lot of people write this type of poem. You have to make it original, so it doesn't fall into the mediocre category with everyone else's. Work, girl, work!
Over all, it was so-so. A couple lines were great. 'Hold me back and I'll snap/but you stretch me anyway' was a little bit confusing, but it was awesome all the same.
Keep at it. With a little bit of tweaking this poem could really be something.
Points: 6090
Reviews: 1258
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