A poem I wrote for my grandparents 50th anniversary 
Please comment, I'm open to suggestions!!
What is a marshmallow without someone to taste it?
Or a pair of boots with no one to shine them?
Or even a neck with no scarf to warm it?
Or a flower without its' stem?
What is a clock without time?
Or one chess piece without the set?
Or maybe a lemon without a lime?
And what might water be without wet?
What is glass without sand?
Or a book without words?
Or possibly an arm with no hand?
And what might spring be without birds?
What is sleep without dreams?
Or an ill man with no one to make him well?
Or still yet the dress without seams?
And what could a turtle be with no shell?
What is a song without the tune?
Or my forceps without my biceps?
Or a fork without a spoon?
What is running without the steps?
What is laughter without a smile?
Or childhood without play?
Or perhaps an inch without the mile?
And what is work without its pay?
What is a hug without feeling?
Or sight if you cannot see?
Or sickness with no healing?
And what is a seashell if you can't hear the sea?
Because without you,
That's exactly what I would be,
And lastly I would like to ask you,
What is life without memories like we've got?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Haha!! I liked this. It was witty and imaginative, and I think it's sweet that you wrote it for your grandparents, of all people. I mean, nobody seems to do stuff like that anymore.
Not much to nitpick here, so congrats! You have written a good, solid little writing. After all, what is a review without a poem?
This was really cool
I liked this, though I didn't like how it was practically the same throughout the whole piece. I get that this was the idea, but maybe limit to two verses of the What parts, and keep the last verse of something.
It was great though! I liked it!
Lavvi
this is cute! I loved it! Keep Writing!
Nike
The last three stanza where what caught my attention the most. I liked the rythmn and the emotion there. Through and through. This was rather good, but I find that there are quite a bit of unncessary lines in it. Maybe you could take out a stanza or two in the beginning.
:D
8.7
Some of the questions you presented were odd, and I like that.
Spoiler
"Or a pair of boots with no one to shine them?
Or even a neck with no scarf to warm it?"
I found those two a bit . . . annoying. :/
Overall:
Spoiler