Fine Caramel

Hi, how's about a review?
The plot for this story was very interesting. There was a good amount of suspense, and the pacing was excellent. The 'reveal' at the end was achieved pretty well- it didn't feel totally random but there was still an element of surprise. Your storytelling skills appear to be pretty good, and I found the plotline worked very well.

What didn't work so well for me was your use of 'big words'. This works occaisionally, however in this instance I believe it did not. There was an inconsistency about it too - like you'd forget then suddenly remember. The parts where you used much simpler language were considerably better. Fancy words do not improve a story, they just distract the reader, and it felt a little bit like you were trying too much. Simple words are often way more effective.

Another thing I noticed was in relation to dialogue - you didn't have punctuation at the end of where people spoke. This is something that is kind of non-negotiable in writing. The only time you seemed to do this was when a question was asked. Depending on the dialogue, you should have 'blah blah blah,' he said. Notice the comma? If the dialogue is by itself or followed by an action the character performs (ie not a variation of 'said'), it should be followed by a full stop, as in 'blah blah blah.'
If you have any questions about this, just ask.

Pretty good work otherwise, so well done and keep writing!

I like this quite a bit.
I thought your wording was done very well, and the entire story was pretty interesting.

“How do I know you’re real?”

“How do I know you’re real?”

“I’d be dead if it weren’t for you guys”

I found this to be pretty humorous. You can kind of tell that the speaker is being sort of sarcastic when saying "you're" the second time, and that added a bit of a comedic feel to it.

I don't see any spelling or grammatic errors.

You did a great job on this! keep it up!