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World building for Millennia in my veins! Part 1

by IndigoArmaryllis

Ankh Noctis Vendari the Mother of the Abyssal Waters:

Based loosely off of Tezcatlipoca and Atabey

Depicted either as a Ranomasina M’parka or as a silver and cobalt leviathan

Patron of the great seas and storms along with the Protector of all Ranomasina M’piaro, sailors, and warriors.

Ankh Ina Tafio the Keeper of the Horizon Glade:

based loosely on hestia and Morrigan

Depicted either as an Afo M’piaro or a gold and black coatl

Patron of the 2 suns and 4 moons, Protector of Afo M’piaro, Sires and their childer, and artisans

Ankh Ra Příroda; Watcher of the Eternal Wildlands:

based loosely on Pan and the fey

Depicted as an Rivotra M’foko or a male dryad

Patron of the wilds, Protector of Rivotra M’piaro, common folk, animals and rangers


barter system/ trade system

Service for service

Goods for Goods

Service for Goods

Goods for services

No set money currency

The finer quality of goods of harder/ longer the service the more is asked/given in return

When service is asked in return the person who participates in said service has to consent to the service being done

Some items are given for free, such as water, grain/oats, fruits, and vegetables

Jobs are not hard to come by in Para’ Kesh

The main industries are farmers, miners, military work, and builders, and merchants

Because there's no money currency there is no inflation or taxes

If other worlds/nations need expenses paid to or from them if the rulers of Para’ Kesh needs to be paid by another group of people they will normally ask for services or diplomats or warriors from the other group

If they need to pay others they will give them technology or goods seen as “exotic” by those paid


Oral tradition is strong in the Keshians’ culture

Traditional celebrations include both solstices, both equinoxes, festival of blood (celebrates ancestors), Syróc ( festival of the twin suns), Ashir ( kinda like Imbolc)

Keshians are mainly ominivarious , and some powerful elders are even rumored to feed off fear and other negative emotions which can lead to some rather…unfortunate circumstances… for not only enemies but others who manage to cross them

celebrations are often decorated with hang jars of water with a colored light source in it

Plays and songs are often used to depict mood or old stories for childer

A ceremony used every year when a child turns 3,080 moons old ( 1 moon= 1 full moon)

A month is 44 days long, 12 months in a year 3 or 4 months to each season, a year are 528 days long


Keshians do not bleed fast or much but that doesn’t mean they are not injured

Keshians tend to have more sensitive places all over the body because the have more sensory glands and neurons than regular humans

Slower heart rates

Cold or warm to the touch no in between

Better sense of smell, taste, touch and can see in the dark

But they cannot see as many colors as humans

Kehsians’ actually have scents! That is how they can tell if their mates, childer, foes, or other people have been or are near dens or areas

Scents are unique to the M’piaro and there are no scents that are the same

Their anatomy can change to fit their needs Bearer→ Sirer or Sirer→ Bearer

Two eyelids one is a hair width thin that is slightly translucent or transparent the other is thicker and opaque

No tear ducts 

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1190 Reviews

Points: 9539
Reviews: 1190

Sun Apr 26, 2020 1:23 am
Elinor wrote a review...

Hi IndigoArmaryllis!

I hope you've been having a magical day today thusfar. My name is Elinor, and I am here, representing the great house of Slytherin to give you a review. Because this is notes for a story rather than story itself, I'm not sure how exactly you want me to critique this, but I will do my best.

Overall, I was a bit confused. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, as these notes would be for your eyes only. It seems like you've done a lot of work in creating this world for your story, but it was hard for me to follow as a reader. I wonder if what you're trying to do is a "one page", which is similar to something we do in screenwriting. Basically, you briefly describe the concept, the world, the key characters and why you're the person to tell the story. You do it all in about a page and send it out to people to get them interested in your story.

I'm curious as to what the concept is and what the story you want to tell inside of this world is. I'd have to know more about your vision for that before I wrote any more, I think.

Hope this helps! Keeps writing! If you do end up writing this and post your chapters on YWS, I would be happy to take a look!

All the best,


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36 Reviews

Points: 2198
Reviews: 36

Tue Mar 31, 2020 6:57 pm
starlitnight wrote a review...

not going to lie, this confused me a lot for a split second haha. XD but i definitely get it now. you're mixing a lot of different things that you've seen and i like that.

make sure to keep consistent with your parentheses. if there's a space on one and none on the other it looks kinda weird. but that's okay! and moons, i thought of warriors haha.

A ceremony used every year when a child turns 3,080 moons old ( 1 moon= 1 full moon)

i have no idea why i'm writing a review for this. but who knows. i'm intrigued by this world and the characters. i hope you wrote a story with this!

...maybe i'm just not aware that you already have...

~laynie <3

Man is by nature a political animal.
— Aristotle