Published August 13, 2007
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141,453 Literary Works • 674,467 Reviews
Lol, this sounds awesome already. Great character developement, I already want to know more about them.
"You're just jealous," I laugh, standing up to leave.
"I bet you offer him one threesome and he finds another guy."
"So what?" I ask, walking into . "Maybe I'm into that."
**LOL, my favorite part.
Tell me when you've written more!
~Rieda
Good start.
Thank God your grammar is basically impeccable [I hope I'm using the right word], and you've already established your characters nicely.
What stands out about this story, one of Cosmo/Politan's great characteristics is the dialogue. Very real, very natural and it doesn't sound forced. But it doesn't bore the reader.
The only thing you forgot, and I'm guessing that it's just a typing mistake, is this:
Where's she walking into?
So far, so good.