Young Writers Society

Hello! First things first, I love the content of this chapter, it's a great way to start a story and it definitely keeps a readers attention. There are a few spelling mistakes and grammatical errors, but I've seen that a few other reviews have pointed this out and it's not hugely distracting from the content of the story itself.

The main piece of advice I'd say is to keep in mind the "show don't tell" rule. Whilst I don't entirely agree with that all the time because telling is a perfectly acceptable way of conveying information, there are a few moments which could benefit from showing the moments. For instance, you could list different ways Tegan had helped Ronald to show that he was a close friend who Ronald is willing to stick his neck out rather than just saying Tegan "has helped him on different occasions." This can also be said of when you said that Tegan was acting odd, it might be worth showing that scene. Not necessarily starting with it, but perhaps flashing back to Tegan asking Ronald to meet him there and throughout pointing out how his behaviour is abnormal.

But overall, a great story hook! I look forward to seeing what progress you make from here!

So.
Good day to you, Author.
I'm here for a small... Okay, for a big review. I hope you don't get all my notes too close to the heart and understand that I'm only willing to help you improve your story, and sometimes a purpose like this requires being strict and straight-forward. So let's begin?

1) Story
The story, as I could make out of the prologue, is about a fictional world. The place is a magic academy of some sort, which already makes it quite a prospective project. A place full of tennagers who fight using swords and throw magic spells at their enemies - not a new or original udea, but still can become one. You just have to make sure your plot is different from the most of the books with similar genre and setting. It'll probably take some time to check the information, but it'll be worth it. Develop your world. If you need any help with maps or concepts - I'm always glad to help, you can ask for an advice or assistance any time. You have to fully comprehend how your world operates and lives so you don't confuse your readers.

2) Style
Unfortunately, I must notice that the style limps a little and should be imrpoved. There are a few reasons why I say so.
First, you tell too much information a reader doesn't have to know. Prologue must always be intriguing, make readers want to read more, whereas you give up all interesting information at once. You tell us who the characters are, which is a mistake when it comes to a prologue, also you stuff it with facts we don't necessarily need to know, at least not in the prologue, such as

Heritage High Academy had international recognition because, there were a few academys where all supernatural creatures coexisted and Heritage High was one of them.

Ronald Astorio #FF0000 ">was a bright student of Heritage High but now he was breaking a rule by waiting for his roommate in the middle of the night, near the forest. If he #FF0000 ">get caught, there #FF0000 ">is no doubt that he #FF0000 ">will get expelled.

Ronald was not the type of person who #FF0000 ">break rules but now he had to help his friend, Tegan Castilian,who #FF0000 ">has helped him on different occasions. He #FF0000 ">can just hope nothing bad #FF0000 ">happens tonight. The last time he talked with Tegan, he knew something was wrong and his friend told him to come here.

Heritage High Academy had international recognition because, there were a few #FF0000 ">academys where all supernatural creatures coexisted and Heritage High was one of them.

At that moment he heard a sound behind the bushes."Tegan, is that you?" asked Ronald. From the place he was standing, he could not see Tegan's face but he could make out the physical outline . "Hey, I have...."

He didn't have time to finish his words, his friend attacked him with a sword. He moved quickly enough to avoid a direct hit, he #FF0000 ">has to be careful if he wanted to survive.

He saw Tegan's face but it was devoid of any emotions, the way he attacked him its like he was a doll. The sword he was using had a marked of a lion on it. Ronald had seen it before but at the moment he could not remember where.

Ronald knew he had no choice so he called on his magic and it took sphere form on his hand. He throw it at his friend, it was not much but enough to disable his friend. But he didn't know what happened the next moment he saw blinding white light and everything became black.

"Shut up." barked the captain."Your friend is dead and we know you used magic here, so I am going to ask you again what did you do?"

It took Ronald a while to know what the captain had said.

Hello man! You got a nice story and it has a lot of potential.
There are just a few typos that I identified so I thought about pointing them out to you:
On: "Ronald Astorio was a bright student of Heritage High but now he was breaking a rule by waiting for his roommate in the middle of the night, near the forest" I think you could put the "but now" between commas for emphasis and I don't believe the comma before "near the forest" is necessary. Right after that part, there's a "get" that should be "gets"

Here on: "because, there were a few academys where all supernatural creatures coexisted and Heritage High was one of them." there's no need to have a comma after "before", "academys" should be "academies" and I think it would be good to put a comma after "coexisted"

In the third paragraph: "Ronald was not the type of person who break rules but now he had to help his friend, Tegan Castilian,who has helped him on different occasions.", the "break' should be "breaks", you forgot the space between the comma and "who" and I think "had" would fit better than "has".

In the fourth paragraph, and I believe this can apply to the whole text, I think it would be better if you made the lines of dialogue their own lines, and not within the prose, but this is just an opinion. Going to the grammar corrections, right at the beginning you forgot the space between the dot and the first quotation, the "could not" would sound more natural as "couldn't", but if it was intentional than there's no problem, and you also put a dot between two spaces, so you should delete one.

There are quite a lot of small mistakes like that along with the text, so I would recommend that you use some text editor like Grammarly or some other to check for typos and concordance errors, but outside of that your text is pretty fluid and has an intriguing story so far, sorry for my nit-pickiness, but I hope i was able to help.
I hope to see more from you in the future