I also Posted this on my blog on wordpress.com! But I wanted to share this here as well.
Draw your sword,
Let loose your tongue.
We are at war,
The Battle has begun.
You fire out "truth",
And it hits the heart.
As I combust in hope
Of just hitting you once.
You glare down your nose
To the inferior me.
If only you were in actuality,
The superior being.
You stomp around on false pretenses,
"Mothering" people as if they need it.
But now you draw away,
The person who bore the weight for you.
No need to, I know.
But regardless, I swore.
For you I wept,
For you I missed.
For it was you I held,
In your darkness.
And now, behold,
Greater than thou,
The lovely warrior, a fraud.
No depth to your fight,
No fire in your eyes,
Because you believe you are right.
Oh, Miss high horse,
Might I introduce,
The fury of the accused.
Of the belittled.
Of the suppressed.
Let my wrath release it.
The ties you've attempted to bind me,
The lies you've already believed.
No more, will I relent.
No more will I sit back and "rest".
This fight is mine to win,
And for you to listen.
You are dethroned.
No longer in control.
For the battle is not yours
And neither is the war.
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140,206 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
Hello!
Stegosaurus here for a review (for team Tardis!)
This is a lovely poem that I am sure most people could relate to. As most things, I think that when reading this, I think of a battle of the brain and heart when seeing someone you want to be with yet at the same time, they go away and you are there- having a battle in your head about the wish you had. OR it could be about the thought of suicide and deciding to kill yourself or say alone- the voices in your head try to overpower you.
Anyway, the first thing that stuck out out to me was the format. Even though some poems use the bunch of spaces, it seems to be a bit harder to read for the reader. Try pressing enter and shift at the same time to make perfect lines together ^^
For some reason, this doesn't seem to be in the correct tense. So change 'are' to 'were'- and this an easy fix anyone can make.
When something is capitalized like a noun, it must means something important or it is a name. From what Cello had said before me, it looks better if it is no capitalized.
Also in the beginning, I would put that at the end since it seems to make the reader confused and whatnot. With A/N because it would be an author's note for the reader to make sense of it.
Overall, this was a lovely piece. I think it could somewhat relate to most people when they read this. I hope to read more of you work on YWS!
If you want me to go over anything, let me know!
Steggy
Hey, I'm here to review this poem!
Happy Review Day, anyway! 
Now, let's get down to business, shall we?
Yep, you know what I'm going to talk about. The end of the second line would be better fit with a comma instead of a dot. If turned around, the sentence would be "You glare down your nose to the inferior me as I combust in hope", so yeah. Need a comma when you shift part of the sentence forward.
Like a some reviewers have said, it's better to split this into stanzas as there are many phases here of the fight, and many different kind of actions given to it. I know there's a problem with formatting poetry here, so if you want to go to a next line, hit Enter and Shift at the same time so there's no unnecessary space between the lines.
And I want to say I like this poem. It feels strong and rebellious - I like how you orchestrate the fight. Your word choice is nice, and the same goes to your word structures. The best thing that I like about this is that it's formatted simply without the use of fancy words, and I think that's the best way to get a message across. I have the feeling that the person this persona fights against is someone close to her heart.
Anyway, keep up the good job! You have a potential to make quality poems, so don't ever stop writing!
Hey! ChocolateCello here for a review!
I really liked this work. It beautifully told a great story.
A few suggestions though-
Unless this war is names 'the battle' the word 'battle' doesn't need to be capitalized. Personally, I think it looks better without the capitalization.
Hm. You have this set up as a sentence. It's not.
I might simply suggest connecting it with the previous sentence. 'And it hits the heart, As I combust in hope Of just hitting you once.' See? Proper sentence.
A previous reviewer pointed this out- it's a bit uncomfortable. You already say 'glare down your nose' in the previous line so the word 'inferior' isn't needed.
I would suggest going form this
'You glare down your nose
To the inferior me.'
to this
'You glare down your nose at me'
It sounds a lot better in my opinion.
Okay, last thing.
You put 'rest' as if the speaker wasn't actually resting. You never clarify what the speaker was actually doing so it's a bit annoying for the reader. Saying 'watch' (Without quotation marks) would be a good fix.
You had a few minor mistakes but over all this poem was amazing. I really loved how you used a such a beautiful vocabulary to tie everything together.
Keep writing!
-ChocolateCello
(Might I suggest putting the A/N at the end? It's a bit distracting at the beginning)
I like the poem specially that partwhich sid about the inferiority ad superiority. U revele thr fact aboutlife.u called the sodiers s preyender u reveled the truth becaise i kow that to kill one without guilty was a very inuman act and omehowever strong cannot be so imhuman so fact.you revealed the truth of humanity tht no one is so warthful as a ideal warrior.
Thank you! I really appreciate that!
Heyo! xJ here for a review. Although I may be a stupid little 14 year old compared to you, I do not have a lack of knowledge, so I shall happily review this.
The first thing I noticed was the format here. It's better to separate your poem into stanzas. It looks neater and more presentable. I've made this mistake before, the poem was great, but the format looked like a train wreck. Bleh. And oddly enough, that same poem was about war as well.
...Weird
This poem is freaking pro-level poetry. I just used the word poem twice... Anyway! "To the inferior me." This line felt a bit awkward to me, I'm not sure why. It's mostly because I mostly see "I" instead of me, so I suppose that bothered me a bit.
I'm a bit confused to whether this is free-verse or meant to rhyme. Because if it was meant to rhyme, you have a great vocabulary here! But, if it was meant to rhyme, then a few places remained without rhyme.
I may not have the outstanding vocabulary that you have (compared to me, at least), but, I know my stuff. Well, I think I do, good enough.
Great poem. I may not have been worthy of it!
-xJ ♥︎
Thank you! I seem to have a problem with rhyming and not rhyming. I guess I can't decide most of the times. Thank you so much for the encouragement! I know, I wasn't used to the format, but I couldn't figure out how to change it. I'll try it again. Thanks again, I really appreciate it!