First off, I got this prompt from Conan Gray's, Family Line (song), a friend gave it to me... and it's my first piece, I would love a review, any criticism is welcome!
The air is thick ferocious and freezing… dad's been bottling again. When will he learn? Mum keeps apologising – I tried, I really tried, but I couldn't help. The house keeps getting smaller. I felt my forehead, I think I'm bleeding. Oh well mum's is worse. Eventually he'll give into my tears, screaming and blood and go for a drive. That's when I'm most scared, he's gonna hurt himself I keep thinking, but that doesn't matter. This is the 10 minutes mum gets to rest from the stress. She gets 10 minutes where I fix her up from YouTube videos. *Bang* the door flies open, oh no.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
I think this seems good. It may need some structuring, but it sounds like it could be really good.