First piece

by Imahappywriter

Published August 30, 2026

12+ Violence

In My Short Stories

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First off, I got this prompt from Conan Gray's, Family Line (song), a friend gave it to me... and it's my first piece, I would love a review, any criticism is welcome!

The air is thick ferocious and freezing… dad's been bottling again. When will he learn? Mum keeps apologising – I tried, I really tried, but I couldn't help. The house keeps getting smaller. I felt my forehead, I think I'm bleeding. Oh well mum's is worse. Eventually he'll give into my tears, screaming and blood and go for a drive. That's when I'm most scared, he's gonna hurt himself I keep thinking, but that doesn't matter. This is the 10 minutes mum gets to rest from the stress. She gets 10 minutes where I fix her up from YouTube videos. *Bang* the door flies open, oh no.

Comments & reviews · 1
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Junebug Comment
Junebug commented Comment · 38m ago

I think this seems good. It may need some structuring, but it sounds like it could be really good.



Well, the only way to start is by starting
— AvantCoffee