Magic Shop- chapters one to three

by ImaginationWriter57

Published May 5, 2026

12+ Mature Content

In Magic shop

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Chapter 1: Discovery

Being a 9th grader in Virginia, “Magic” isn't really that common to witness. So me and my older sister Autumn make some out of old cottages in the woods, like turning them into cozy rooms, except one day we stumbled upon something rather peculiar.

So, it was a cool day in autumn. Autumn and I(haha, no pun intended) decided to go find some cottages in the forest by my house, and for the first two hours, we couldn’t find anything, but instead admired the woods. I loved the forest- the misty atmosphere, the soft winds- it almost felt magical. “Wait… Is that a cottage?” I asked, discovering a structure nearby. A bird flew on my head and shrugged, “Meep.” An American Woodcock. I laughed, then got back to investigating the newfound building. I peered through the windows, and saw some colorful liquids in circular bottles, a few shiny rocks, and a sheet of paper left blank. “What…?” I asked, genuinely confused. As much as it looked cool, it was more like an overdone halloween kinda vibe. We were about to go inside when someone called for us.

“Dinner time!” my mom yelled. We ran inside, and decided we would continue this tomorrow.

The next day, we woke up early with frizzled hair and bags under our eyes. We shoved Saturday pancakes down our throats and hurried outside. In the doorway, my mom called, “Girls!” we both jerked back a bit. “Have you done your homework yet? You two need to complete your work.” We both groaned in annoyance.

After we finished our homework through fraction struggles(seriously, why would we ever need to divide fractions in daily life), we swung open the door and ran straight to the building, and found it locked. I was just about to start freaking out but for some reason, Autumn was sure the key should be around there somewhere because the sign said “for sale”. It was bad logic, but I was desperate to open it. We checked under mats and mailboxes and grass patches. We found the key on the roof, and we climbed a nearby tree to get it. It was time to open the mystery. We stared into the magical place. There were mushrooms. Shiny glitter. An empty pot with a stirring stick. “What if this place really was a magic shop?” I asked. “Pfft! I wish. But things like these don’t-” “wait.” I interrupted Autumn. I had just discovered something. “When you said ‘I wish’, things started to move.” She looked at me all weird. “You sure? I think your eyes were seeing phantoms or something. Or maybe you’re just going crazy.”

“I wish…” I said, ignoring the comment. It all tingled again. “It really does, Autumn!” “Summer, I think your eyes are seeing things. Where are your glasses?” She asked. “I don't wear glasses. But it really did. You look.” I said. Autumn sighed and said, “I wish…” The bottles tingled then stopped. “Wait, what?” Autumn asked. Then something scurried around. Something small, and hard to see. “Is it a mouse?” I heard Autumn say, The creature poked its head out. “What is that?” I asked. I had never seen something like it before. It had a round, plump body with little legs and arms, and looked kind of like a cartoon frog. “What are you doing here, little missies?” the creature squeaked. It can…talk? “My name is Frogbert.” it said. “Hi, Fr-og-be-rt…” I said. “I’m Summer and this is Autumn.” “Cool. I used to run this old thing. Shut down a long, long time ago.” “Why is your name Frogbert?” Autumn asked. “Well, my-” “What is this place?” she asked. “This-” Frogbert began again. Autumn interrupted again. “How many yea-?” Autumn began. I slapped my hand over her mouth. I glared at her, slowly lowering my hand as she mouthed Chill and motioned her hands for me to calm down.

We continued looking around the shop. I saw some less old materials- maybe about three months old. I touched one of the shiny rocks. Wait. Why is this so soft? I thought. I pushed it gently. It was as squishy as a balloon. “What the…”I said. “Oh, that's a Veroxal Stone.” Frogbert said. “A ver-WHAT?” Autumn asked. “A Veroxal Stone! It is a type of rock that is made to be empty inside.” He said. “Ohhkayyy, well then what's this?” I asked, pointing at some sandy-looking stuff that twinkled. “Fairy dust!” Frogbert said. “It's our main use.” “FAIRY DUST??” Autumn exclaimed. “Pfft! Ok kid, stop the act. This place isn't real, sorry to break your fantasy.” “Okay, first of all, I'm 500.” Frogbert said. “Secondly, don't doubt this place! It's as real as can be! I wish… I wish…. Uhh… I wish I had a slice of pizza! Or a hat.” There was a poof as a slice of pizza emerged from his head. We cracked up.

“If this place grants wishes… Can someone wish for a special person to come back to them?" I asked. It had been a few years since my dad left for his job in Sacramento, while we were 7 hours away by plane. “I guess it’s not impossible. But it would probably be extremely hard to grant.” Frogbert said. “Probably will take ‘bout two more of these magic shops.” “Oh…well… Is this the only one?” I asked. “Nope! There’s a few more, but I don't know if they're still in the condition for wishes anymore. I’m not sure the other keepers, Orion and Luna, are still even alive.” He said. “Wait, so they got cool names, and you got Frogbert? Huh?” I asked. I did not think that Frogbert was a mystical name.“Dinner!” I heard my mom call. “COMING!” I yelled. “Look, we better go. We're coming back tomorrow, m’kay?” I told Frogbert as we sprinted to get dinner. As I was mindlessly munching on mac’n’cheese like a robot, I thought back to the day. How would we find the 2nd and 3rd ones? How would we- “Summer?” oh. My mom was calling my name. “Oh, sorry.” “No need! But I was just asking if you wanted brownies or smores?” She said, "Definitely smores.” I replied. “Gotcha.” She said, I was going to get back to thinking about it again, but forgot what I was thinking about. My stomach was full of delicious s’mores and mac’n’cheese, but I went to sleep with a hollow body.

I woke up late and rushed to school with a toothbrush in my mouth. I unpacked and huffed as I miraculously made it in. “So, uhh.. I heard Madison moved schools.” It was David, who was the quiet kid and maybe my secret crush. “What? Why?” Madison was the biggest bully at school, but the sweetest in front of teachers. “I, uh, kinda punched her. In the face.” He said, scratching his head as he awkwardly admitted to the truth. “Oh! That's…new.” I said, I felt my face heat up. “Um, got to go! Bye!” I said, running down the hall. I hope he doesn’t think I'm weird. I was scared that he had seen me blushing. Luckily, I got through school without looking like a tomato. I ran to the shop with Autumn. Frogbert immediately let us in and we closed the door. “So, I’ve been meaning to ask… How?” Autumn asked, still catching her breath. “What do you mean, ‘How’?” Frogbert asked. “Just, How.” Autumn said. “Huh?” Frogbert said. “This whole place. It’s-” Autumn sighed. “It just seems too good to be true.” “But it is!” Frogbert replied. “It’s all real.” “Is it real enough though?” Autumn doubted. “Magic was never real. Since when was it?” “Magic was always real." Frogbert said. We all were quiet. We needed it.“I’m gonna take you home today. I want to hear more.” I said, as I picked up Frogbert and put him in my bag. “Fine with me!” came a muffled voice. I took him home and set him on the table. “Okay, now you really need to stay hid-” I began. “Hon? Who are you talking to?” my mom asked. She walked over and froze. “Frogbert? Is that you?” She asked, “Emma?” Frogbert asked. “You’ve met before?” I asked. “Met before? We were best friends!” Frogbert replied. “The fresher materials… that was you?” I asked. “Fresher materials? Maybe. Not sure. I stopped going there about 20 years ago.” She said, Wait, but… “Uh… I need to go check on something for a second, can you watch him? Thanks!” I zoomed off. I ran to the shop and flung the door open. More fresh ingredients. One seems to be placed just now. I, confused, started looking around for any signs of life. I saw someone’s phone. I reached for it and saw the background just as the door slammed shut. I heard someone running. “Hey!” I called out, as I forced the door open. I ran and frantically looked around, but I found nobody. When I looked back, the phone was gone.

But the phone background…was me.

Chapter two: Hope

“I legit think it’s dad.” I said. “The phone background was you alone at school? I don't think he would’ve taken a picture of that. He doesn’t go to your school,” Autumn said. “True. But he’s a photographer.” I said, trying so hard to believe. I wanted to believe it was dad. Being fatherless since I was 5 makes me thirsty for this kinda stuff. I wanted my dad to care about me. “Well, keep hoping.” Autumn scoffed, walking off, phone in hand. Now I was more determined than ever to find those 3 shops- for a different wish. I made a map and got to work, drawing all parts of the neighborhood as I remembered.

Stores. Houses. Trees. Even dog houses! I concentrated as I finished the houses and started on the roads. Just then, frogbert came in. “What’s up,” he asked. “Making a map. For the other two shops.” I said. “Hmm. ok, but this might not work out.” He said, walking out. My map was soon filled with drawings, and I followed the map around my neighborhood to double check. Every flower was important. It took me an hour to draw the whole thing. 20 flowers here, 15 here, and 23 here. I looked at my masterpiece, and drew a little house where the first magic shop was. Now to find the other shops.

Luckily, we didn't have to wait for the other one.

We walked to the forest to find another shop, with something in it.

Attempting to try the key from the first shop, I took it out of my pocket. “Wht the-?” I asked. The Key had changed shape and was glowing. It shot across the grassfield and unlocked the door. “Ookay, that's…normal,”I said. We entered the shop. The fox poked his head out. “Is that…?” I asked. Was it Orion? “What are you doing here, little missies? Looking for some MAGIC?” He asked. “My name is Orion,” he said. Frogbert appeared from behind me. “Hey Ori, been 50 years or so?” Frogbert greeted. “Bert!” Orion exclaimed. They embraced each other like family, because to them, they were. “Have you found Luna?” Orion asked. “No, not yet,” Frogbert replied. “But we still have hope.”

We walked back to the original shop, my heart thumping against my ribs like a trapped bird. I was so sure it was Dad. I could almost imagine him standing there with his camera, ready to give me a hug. “Hey!” I yelled, throwing the door open so hard it hit the wall. My heart sank. The person standing there wasn't my dad. It was David.

Chapter 3: photos

He jumped back, dropping his phone onto a pile of fairy dust before quickly snatching it up.

"David?" I gasped, my disappointment turning into pure confusion. "Why are you here? And... Why is my face the background of your phone?!"

David turned as red as a tomato. He looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole.

"I... uh... the lighting was good?" he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck. "And... you look nice?" I blushed. I looked at him—really looked at him—and said,

"It's okay, I actually think it's kind of cool that you took it. You're a good photographer, David." In an instant, David's face transformed. The embarrassment was gone. His eyes lit up. "Really?" David asked, his voice full of hope.

"You're not weirded out?"

"Not really," I smiled. We stayed quiet for a minute. Autumn cleared her throat loudly, a smirk playing on her lips. "Ooh, someone has a boyyfrienddd!!” She said in a singsong voice.

“N-not true!” we both exclaimed. We faced away from each other, but kept glancing at each other. Autumn made a loud gagging noise.

"Okay, can we get back to the actual magic now? Or do I need to leave you two alone with your tomato faces?" We cracked up on that. Good to know that my crush likes me back.

“Okay, I knew Frogbert, but who is that?” He asked, pointing at Orion. “Oh please,” Orion said, “Call me Orion.”

We marked the spot on the map. David decided to help us find the last one- he had seen it before. We hurried there, eager to wish for my dad to move back here. Expecting some kind of movement, we went inside. But the only thing we found was a collar that read, ‘Luna.’

“Luna?” Frogbert called. But there was no answer. “Luna!! It’s us!!” Orion yelled. But silence filled the shop. How could silence be so loud? And… terrifying? “Wait…”Orion said, slowly pouncing around.

“This smell… It’s not like any other magic. It smells….. Evil.” He whispered.

“How can a smell be evil?” I asked. “It just can,” he replied. He growled softly.

“Dont let your guard down,” he warned. We timidly scuffled through the shop. David took his phone out.

“I’m just going to look at the photos I took of it yesterday.” We scrolled through. And all of them had a dark shadow.

“No way Luna is that big. She’s a small racoon,” Frogbert said.

A shadow hurried past us. The same one.

“Hey!” I yelled. I managed to catch their arm. I grabbed it out.

“Please don't hurt me! I'm sorry!” It said, and it was a weird creature- bigger than a small racoon, but not bigger than Orion. It looked like… “A dragon?!? You shouldn’t be here!” Frogbert yelled.

“Dragons feed on magic. They look for sources of them- of course, the dragon den is only a few miles belowground… They would’ve smelled it!” Frogbert said.

“Well, where’s Luna?" I asked. “Uh, what's a Luna?” he asked me. “The raccoon!” I yelled, impatient to find her.

“Oh, the raccoon… uhh, I don't know any raccoons. It was empty when I found it.” he said.

“Oh, uh, sorry.” I replied. “Wanna help us find the racoon?” I asked, hoping for some kind of answer in the form of yes.

“Uh sure…” he replied. “I’m Blaze,” he said. I picked him up and set him on my head. We showed him a photo of her we found in the shop.

"Yeah, I've never seen her. But her fur was really soft... I mean, I bet it would be soft if she were here!"he said, laughing timidly.

We walked deeper into the woods, following Blaze’s directions. He seemed so small and helpless on top of my head, but I noticed something strange. Every time Orion growled about the "evil smell," Blaze would start humming a little tune to drown him out.

"So, Blaze," Autumn asked, her eyes narrowing.

"If you've never met Luna, how did you know she was a 'her'?" Blaze froze. I felt his tiny claws dig into my hair.

“It looked like a her,” he said. "It looked like a her," Blaze repeated, but his voice was trembling.

"In the photo we showed you, she was wearing a hat and a scarf, Blaze," David said, holding up his phone.

"You can't even see her ears. How could you tell?" I felt a sudden heat radiating from the top of my head. It wasn't the cozy warmth of a pet; it felt like a stovetop being turned on. I reached up to pull Blaze off, but he was stuck to my hair like tree sap.

"Blaze? You’re hurting me," I whispered. "I... I can't help it!" Blaze cried out. Suddenly, his eyes snapped from their friendly yellow to a glowing, translucent orange—the exact color of amber.

"He is not in control anymore, little ones," a new voice boomed. It didn't come from Blaze’s mouth, but it echoed through the trees, vibrating in my teeth.

"My son has done his job. He brought the Keepers right to the front door." Orion let out a terrifying snarl. "Amber. I should have known you’d come back for the shops."

"Amber?" I gasped, looking around. "Who is Amber?"

"The reason the magic died twenty years ago," Frogbert squeaked, hiding behind David’s leg. A thick, golden mist started crawling across the forest floor. Where it touched a leaf, the leaf turned to solid, orange stone. "Blaze, let her go!" Autumn yelled, swinging her heavy backpack at the air. "He can't," the booming voice hissed. "He is my shadow. And you... you are my prey. Destroy the shops or this little racoon friend of yours gets hurt," it boomed.

A screen opened. It flickered, but there was no challenge to see who it was.

Luna.

Comments & reviews · 5
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noridori
Review
noridori wrote a review Review · May 20

wow, this is definitely better than anything i wrote at your age. i especially like the twists, i can tell that’s one of your strengths. also autumn calling frogbert ‘kid’ was really funny lol.

you also have a lot of really cool elements in this story, i only wish you’d spent a bit more time grounding them because at the moment the pacing is quite fast. if you gave some of these big reveals some scenes to just breathe, they could hit a lot harder. overall this is a really good piece so i just have some craft notes.


unless ‘magic’ is a name for a special magic system or other in your world it’s a noun and shouldn’t be capitalized.


i like your characters, but at times it can get confusing as to who is speaking. the standard rule is to start a new paragraph every time someone new is speaking. this signals clearly to the reader who is talking and helps them keep track of the dialogue. there are also some paragraphs, like at the start of chapter 5, that are pretty long and can therefore feel a bit dense to the reader. i’d recommend trying to split some of these up into a few shorter paragraphs.

further on the topic of dialogue, when using quotation marks you can not follow a quote with a dialogue tag if it ends with a period. ! and ? are fine, but periods need to be replaced with commas for the whole sentence to make sense grammatically.

i like the story a lot, but sometimes characters risk slipping into devices to move the narrative forward. for example summer and autumn’s mother calling them in for dinner. it’s a fine and realistic thing that happens, but when it always happens at the convenient time you want summer and autumn to return home, their mother risks feeling more like a tool for the author rather than an actual living character. the same goes for the scene when frogbert walks into the shop, asks about the map and then leaves again. it feels hollow, because as far as the reader knows he has no motivation to do that other than to serve the plot.

also, and this has nothing to do with your writing, but if you want your stuff to get more traction on this site i’d personally recommend splitting it up into a few parts. reviewing something of this length can be quite a commitment time-wise for most readers, especially if you count the time it takes to engage with and really digest all of the text. it’s also more difficult to give you very detailed critique and really give each part the attention it deserves at the moment because the review would just get too long.

anyway, that was all i had for today. this was a really good piece, and i’m looking forward to seeing more of your work in the future. keep up the good work!

ImaginationWriter57 commented Comment · May 8

hi

ImaginationWriter57 commented Comment · May 6

Okay so this piece is my genuinly favorite so far. I started this with and empty doc as a twelve year old(i am still twelve hehe) and in six months, BOOM! I am genuinly thinking of publishing this work after some fixing, whaddaya think?

Nataleeen32130 wrote a review Review · May 6

HAI HAI FELLOW NEW YWS MEMEBERRR!!!!!!

You have been picked from the green room for a review YAHOOOO!!!

Looking at all these magical stanzas together makes the whole poem feel like a literal doorway to another dimension... it is like I was standing right there on the threshold of your Magic Shop! It is not just a poem about charms and trinkets... it feels like a shimmering sanctuary for the soul where the boundary between our reality and pure wonder is completely dissolving!

I am genuinely electrified by the whimsical atmosphere you built from that first inviting whisper until that final... lingering... sparkle of stardust. The way you transitioned from the dusty, ordinary world outside into a place where "hopes are bottled" and "dreams are sold for a smile" is just perfection. Your imagery is so vivid... I could practically smell the scent of old parchment and jasmine swirling around as the shelves seemed to hum with their own secret life!

Your vocabulary throughout this piece is just incredible! You used words like ethereal... luminescent... curiosities... and kaleidoscopic to give the whole poem such a sophisticated yet dreamy edge. I love your choice of words like gossamer... enchanted... and resonance because they really show off such a high level command of language that I am just blown away by how good it is! It is so rare to see a poet balance such delicate metaphors with words that carry so much sparkle and depth... like when the light caught the crystal vials!

I am so empathetic toward the "tired traveler" character because we have all had those moments where we just need to find a place that feels safe and full of possibility. It feels so real and human because we have all looked for a "key" to a better day or a way to mend a heavy heart. The way the shopkeeper offers "remedies for the weary" was so moving! I would go totally crazy if I walked into a store and found my own forgotten childhood dreams tucked away on a velvet shelf! The way you write the interaction between the visitor and the shop feels so honest... especially when you describe the "quiet magic" of simply being understood.

The rhythm of the lines is so visceral. The way the sentences flow like a gentle breeze through wind chimes or a "tapestry of stars" unfolding was just exquisite. I am actually stunned by the mystery of the "forbidden shelf" and the "price of a memory." It makes the poem feel so much deeper and more intriguing! What is hidden behind the velvet curtain?! I have zero tips because your command of lyrical storytelling and the way you handle the transition from the mundane to the miraculous is just perfection. The way the shop appeared out of the mist was so cool!

Also try adding Italics, bolding, to enhance the sentence but I understand that this is one longggggggg one so it would be harder but also because if you already did on another website, it doesn't transfer here which I found out the hard way. Anyways, LOVE ITTT !!!

-Klee 2.0 Kaboom :3
Nataleee

Thank you so much! This story went through a lot of stuff as a draft, i was thinking of publishing it after a few more years of drafting and fixing.

ImaginationWriter57 commented Comment · May 6



i think. i want to become. something.
— chrysanthemumcentury