Chapter 5: Natalya (May 1942)

It takes me another day to reach the base where I land the beaten up U-2 in a large field just outside the town. As I touch down on the ground, the engine whirs to a stop on its own. I flick the switch, trying to start it back up, but after a heavy groan, it shuts down again.

Feeling oddly sad, I pat the wing, cleaning it off one last time.

“I’m going to miss you, old girl,” I whisper to it, then think that I must be going crazy, talking to a broken-down hunk of metal. Sighing, I pull my empty bag out of the seat and start off for the town.

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It’s a long walk, and I quickly realize that I must have miscalculated the distance. A half hour later, Ism still walking and starting to wonder if I’m even going in the right direction. Finally, the woods around me open onto a back alley. Following the sound of voices, I emerge into a bustling crowd of market-goers, buying and selling the day’s wares. For a moment, I feel close to a sort of peace. While the rest of the country may be dark and depressing with the war, it seems as though it hadn’t touched the people here at all. As I look closer though, I can see a hint of what they’ve been trying to cover up. An empty, dusty stall, a woman with wet eyes, a boy moving slowly with a crutch.

Looking around, I try to spot the base, and although I don’t find it, I do notice a train station, the tracks running a glittering line through the village as the mid-day sun reflects off of them. Standing on my tip-toes to try and get a better view, I suddenly lose my balance and fall

into a girl walking next to me.

“Izvineeti,” I cry as we topple to the ground, passersby casting us odd glances. The girl quickly gets up, brushing dust off of a large military uniform.

And laughing.

“Izvineeti,” I say again, at a loss for words. “I didn’t see you.”

“No apologies necessary,” she says, her eyes twinkling. “I was actually coming over to see if you needed help.”

“Apparently I do,” I laugh, leaning down and grabbing my bag.

“Well, you seemed very confused, so I must have been correct. If you don’t mind me asking, who are you looking for?”

“What, actually. I just got here and I was trying to find Engel’s Flying School.”

“Looking for Marina Raskova and her unruly band of lady pilots?” The girl scoffs.

“Actually, I was looking for Marina Raskova and the strongest piloting force in the Soviet Union. It wouldn’t be too swell if I’ve come to the wrong place, since my plane just broke down and I have no money for a train ride.”

At this, the girl actually laughs, looking me up and down.

“Oh, that group trains on the other side of the base. I’m actually just heading back there now though, so I can show you. I’m afraid you’ll have to get through Yelena the Terrible either way.”

“Yelena the Terrible?”

“Da. She’s horrid.”

“And here I was thinking she was wonderful. As a matter of fact, I don’t think I ever

caught your name.”

“Ludmila Zima,” she says, sticking her hand out.

“Natalya,” I say, shaking it.

“Ooh, another Natalya! To be quite honest, there are so many Natalyas in our group that I’ve started calling them by their last names instead. Do you have a last name?”

I almost say Orlova, but my throat closes up before I can get the name out. This is my last chance to cut all ties. I could end it all now, make it so Papa could never find me.

This is the moment that I can truly start a new life. This is for you, Lydia, I think to myself. I’m keeping my promise.

“Smirnova,” I say. “My name is Natalya Smirnova.”

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Ludmila chatters the whole walk down to the school, telling me all about life there.

I quickly learn that her father had been a pilot for many years and her parents had always encouraged her to follow her dreams, no matter others’ opinions of them. They had sent her to boarding school when local schools weren’t teaching enough, and turned a blind eye when she snuck out a few nights a week to go flying at a field nearby. Then they had both died of some sort of sickness right as she heard about Raskova. The rest, as she put it, was history.

“I will admit, I did lie when she asked me about my flying time,” she tells me in a whisper. “But I think most everyone did that. At this point, you might as well exaggerate too just to keep up with the rest of us.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I say, feeling myself begin to relax for the first time in a long while. I had a friend here, regardless of the fact that Ludmila seemed like the type who was friends with the world. I was going to make it in. Raskova had to accept me.

She had to.

“So why are you here?” Ludmila’s question startles me, and I have to pause before answering.

“Same as everyone else, right? To try out for the new regiment that Raskova’s putting together?”

She shakes her head. “That’s not what I meant. Everybody in the group came from something - dead parents, running away from school, trying to find a place where they could fly without men constantly telling them off or inviting them home, stuff like that. So what was your reason?”

I know I can’t tell the truth of how I let my father murder my mother, that I had left my best friend for dead, that I had run away with no thought past making it into Marina Raskova’s piloting regiment. I can’t say a word about the past, because if I do, I will lose the one friend that I have in this new, clean world. This is my chance to start over, to create a new life for myself, away from the old one. This is my chance to rise from the ashes of the burned out husk of a life that my parents gave me, and build a new one, brimming with color, and beauty, and, most of all, love.

“I just - I just really like flying,” I choke out, feeling heat rise to my face when I realize how pathetic it sounded.

“Hmph,” Ludmila agrees, and then, crossing her arms over her chest, she speeds up walking, refusing to talk to me for the rest of the trip.

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We reach the building a few minutes later, and I hesitantly follow Ludmila as she walks towards the back of the building.

“Oh, Natalya, izvineeti. You’re not allowed back here until Raskova accepts you into the regiment. If you go through the front doors, then you can talk to Yelena and she’ll make you an appointment.”

“You sound so sure I’ll get in.”

“Well, not with that attitude, you won’t! Like my mama always said: without effort, you won’t even pull a fish out of a pond.”

I frown, and she nudges me playfully. “Come on, believe in yourself and you’ll be just fine!”

“You sure?”

“Of course. If I managed to get in, you’ll be just fine.” I feel her grab my hand and squeeze it, letting go before I have time to pull away. “Good luck,” she whispers.

Turning to thank her, I see she’s already skipping down a small shaded path, and I smile softly to myself. To have her spirit would probably feel like you were always flying, even while your heels still touched the ground.

Sighing, I continue forward and push through the large doors, passing underneath a large sign reading Engels School of Aviation. From now on, my life could be whatever I made of it.

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“She is not seeing anyone right now.” Yelena’s voice is the same that I had heard for years at schools from the girls who thought themselves above me, and I immediately dislike her. Nevermind the fact that she had barely allowed me to finish my request before dismissing me.

“Is she here at the base?”

“Da.”

“Then just tell her that I’m here. I’ll wait.”

“She’s not to be bothered.”

Groaning, I lean forward onto the desk. “Just tell her, for God’s sake! I’ll wait for her to see me, but just tell her that I’m here!”

Yelena finally looks up from the pamphlet she’s been writing on during our entire conversation. “What’s your name, girl?”

“Natalya Smirnova.”

She scribbles it down onto a paper that’s covered in names. “Find a place to sit if you can. It might be a long wait.”

And with that, she lowers her head and returns to her work.

I turn and walk towards a long row of chairs against the wall, trying to keep my confidence showing in every step. I won’t let a no-good secretary think she has gotten to me in any way. Sitting down, I wince at the hardness of the wooden seat. I settle back into the chair, only mostly content to wait. Yelena still hadn’t moved from her desk.

I was going to be here a while.