In his eyes

hello" ImChasingTheStars" , smile is here to review your work

well done , that was an amazing poem , i'm speechless , it's just so simple but great .
i found every part so sweet

" In his eyes,
The world is the most beautiful artwork,
But in his eyes,
It cannot compare by far,
To the way she smiles,

"Its the reason the stars shine,
The reason lights glow,

"The reason he's got to stay.

the rhythm , the punctuation were good .

i liked how you ended the poem so cute , and romantic

so keep writing

smile

Really enjoyed reading that

Good job ^ ^ I enjoyed the poem and concept, don't get me wrong, It's very sweet and absolutely darling. But the little cynical part of me goes 'is there really a guy out there that thinks like that?' (but that side of me is mean and bitter, so we don't really talk to her- so shhhhhhhhh >.> <.<) All in all it's a great romantic poem, unlike most others it isn't about heartbreak or mopey-ness or suicide (That may sound really BAD but it is also really TRUE, not that those poems can't be excellent too, cuz that's not what I'm saying. I've written poems like that o.o....) so points to you for creating a romanticized poem that was not overly sexual, nor "mopey" in the slightest degree. (I really don't like reading smutty romance poems....It makes me feel dirty....) I do enjoy your writing style, and will surely be back to read more of it in the future ^ ^


Love,
Red <3

Hi.
Your writing is captivating.
Once someone starts reading it, they fallow through till the end.
It was short and sweet.

"At Christmas time,
The reason children love snow,
The reason nations sing anthems,"
these lines didn't really work for me. I understand what you're perhaps trying to convey is that this girl is so beautiful through the eyes of this guy that it makes everything meaningful. You could have perhaps used a more personal metaphor. This one feels a little impersonal.

"The reason he's got to stay."
A perfect ending.
Loved this line.

Keep writing!

-Erin