I need a new title (formerly: The Missive)

by Ieatworms

Published October 18, 2005

Missive


It wasn’t so long ago
That I was living this history,
Not writing it.

Your hands made a lush country of my body,
Boundaries drawn with my hot blush
And the brush of shy hands.

My hands found you my Country’s neighbor,
Your borders guarded with promises
And idealist pride.

Our minds, our ruling council, joined us
At the place of proud peninsula and humid shore.

It wasn’t so long ago
We sent envoys of short kisses,
And words were fair to trade.

Your words made me Empress, by mind’s marriage,
Of your lands, and bade me rule with you,
Beside you.

My words left me a pauper
Begging rest in my own country.
Without you.

Our treaties divide us now, mine and yours,
With hurt standing guard between.

It wasn’t so long ago
I left prints in your sand,
And you wandered through my musings.
History now.

Don’t let history repeat.

Build your stone fortress around you,
Throw open the gates when your armies are strong again.
But don’t let me in.

I’ll dig my moat, and when I can stand to see my self
Reflected there, I’ll lower the drawbridge.
But not for you.

“Not so long ago” will quickly become
“So very long ago.”
Now, go, and live new history
Without me.

Comments & reviews · 5
User avatar
Surreal Review
Surreal wrote a review Review · Nov 11, 2005

I really like it. The images are subtle in word but not in meaning. Very nice.
And Carmina... William Shakespeare's Much ado abuot nothing. I believe it is ""The count is neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor well; but civil count, civil as an orange, and something of that jealous complexion." and Beatrice says it. Right?

User avatar
Carmina
Comment
Carmina commented Comment · Oct 19, 2005

One correction: "idealist" is a noun. "Idealistic" is adjective.

Aside from that: I am, "civil as an orange. And something of that jealous complexion." (place the quote if you can. tee hee)

User avatar
Tríona
Comment
Tríona commented Comment · Oct 18, 2005

:?...greantess... :?

User avatar
Quiz
Review
Quiz wrote a review Review · Oct 18, 2005

Nice. Very nice. I like the analogy of people as countries. This couple stanzas--

It wasn’t so long ago
I left prints in your sand,
And you wandered through my musings.
History now.

Don’t let history repeat.

Build your stone fortress around you,
Throw open the gates when your armies are strong again.
But don’t let me in.

I’ll dig my moat, and when I can stand to see my self
Reflected there, I’ll lower the drawbridge.
But not for you.


Really caught my eye. I like how you represent the man as a warlike country with a fortress and an army, but you represent yourself as a castle with a moat to keep people out rather than take people over. Why is that?

Interesting.

I like this. Keep it up, I've come to expect greantess from you. I am sure you won't let me down.

--Q



It is most unlikely. But - here comes the big "but" - not impossible.
— Roald Dahl