Music can do a lot to someone
Make them love
Make them hate
Music can do a lot
Music can change someone's outlook on life
It can bring someone back from that slippery slope
That they feel is going to last forever
Music can change that
You just have to listen to the story.
Music changes lives
And that my dears
Will never change
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125,011 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
Aye, Nova here :3
To start, I'd like to say that this poem is entirely true. Music helped me out in my time of need. It told me "It will all be okay" when no one else did.
I was drawn to this because music helped me so much. The way you wrote it made me think about the time I needed it the most. I love this poem so, so much, because it informs other people that music is a tool that can help someone.
I'm so happy to have found this.
Music does change lives. Good or bad, whatever it may be, it still changes lives.
I finally found something I like doing besides writing, in playing music.
Thank you for writing this. It made me so much happier.
Keep writing.
-Nova
I've always had an interesting relationship with music in general, and this poem really captures that whole idea. Music is a whole other medium of emotion and the tune can quite effectively relay the artist's emotion that went into the song itself. I like this poem very much and couldn't agree more with the message you were trying to get across and I can't wait to read more of your poems or really anything else that you might write in the future
Keep up the good work, and keep writing!!!
Hello everyone!! LadyRanicorn here for another amazing review!
Wow, I really like this poem! Now I know that this isn't surprising to most of us, I like mostly EVERYTHING, but with this one I actually feel like I can understand and relate to this poem. This is a rarity that someone can actually make a poem that I can understand, you did a great job with that. Now, on to things that I didn't understand or what I think you could have done better on! Lately this list has been pretty short, so I'm trying to lengthen it. Sorry if I make you feel bad.
With only one expectation, which is this line "You just have to listen to the story.", you never put a period after a sentence. Since poetry doesn't really have any rules, except for maybe the rhyming rule for some of them, you don't really have to listen to this part of the critique. I only added this part to show that if this was in regular story form, you would be breaking the rules of punctuation.
Next up on this list is this line, "It can bring someone back from that slippery slope" now, I don't exactly have any problem with this line, but how its worded. The specific part of the line is "slippery slope." I don't like how this is worded, might just be me, but I feel like it sort of disrupts the flow of the poem.
I do believe that that was all for the dislike part of the critique, on to the likes!! One thing that I really LOVED about this poem is the topic. I love music, and I believe it is awesome. I can relate to how music feels to you, I feel the same way when I listen to Phantom of the Opera music.
I also enjoyed this line, "Music changes lives " I liked this line in particular because it's so true. Music does truly change lives, I'm pure evidence of that. Welp, I hope I did good in this review and I hope you like it!! Until next time, LadyRanicorn out!!
hey! i am bookoholic here for a review!welcome to YWS.
i agree with Elisium. but i guess this is your first poem and there is a long way to improve.
your title attracted me, though i was a bit disappointed. but you are new here, and we help you improve.
coming to your poem. though it had a deep meaning, but your poem lacked flow. instead of repeated the 1st and 4th line, you could have added something else.
also
I wasn't able to understand what you wanted to say. Something is surely missing.
Also, you should add more punctuation marks in your poetry because they give flow to your poem and helps the reader to understand what you really want to say.
if you need any help, you can PM me any time and i will be there to help you
and one thing for you.
NEVER GET DISAPPOINTING. and keep writing
~bookoholic22
Hello! Elysium here with another review, well, my first review since my hiatus. I will warn you, I may be a little rusty.
Now, this poem is dry, straightforward. Music is such a broad topic, so go into depth about it. You're pretty much saying in this, "Music is love, music is life." Nothing to it. You decide to write on the topic of it, but it's flat (there's a music pun if you're a fellow musician.) Elaborate, go into depth. Jam pack it with detail, make it colorful.
Let's look at the poem itself now.
Okay, so I kind of like the repetition in lines 2 and 3, but you pretty much repeated the 1st and 4th lines. I also don't understand how music can make someone hate. Music is supposed to be a good thing.
So, if you wrote that without an apostrophe, it would look like this.
That isn't grammatically correct, so get rid of the apostrophe.
This is a pretty corny and weak ending, in my opinion. It's cliche. You wanna try to end every poem on a good note (another music pun) but this one is pretty cliche. I would recommend you look at other poems on the topic of music to get some inspiration.
Overall, there does need to be work done on this poem with details and grammar. Elaboration would definitely help.
Now, don't be discouraged by this review. I see it's your first poem. Everyone's first poem isn't gonna be the best. You have your foundation here. Work from it and make it great.
Thank you for the read, and have a nice day/night!
-Elysium
Sorry about the gigantic quote in the middle. That was not intended! c:
Hi...I honestly love your poem since I am a musician and also a music lover myself. I think we may have a lot in common such as writing poems and maybe music. This piece is good too because I think it has a poetic tone. It is also talking about something that is very true;the fact that it affects our feelings and emotions. Thank you for writing this poem and also wishing you good luck in your future endeavors.
bloody...
Hello IcantRemember, I thoroughly enjoy your poem. As a musician and music lover, this resonates with me a lot. the overall tone and theme of the poem is great. There are however a few grammatical errors. There are commas and periods missing at the end of a few stanzas. When you read it, you mentally already make stops where the commas are needed. I put commas and periods in where they belong so essentially it looks like this,
" Music can do a lot to someone,
Make them love,
Make them hate,
Music can do a lot.
Music can change someone's outlook on life.
It can bring someone back from that slippery slope
That they feel is going to last forever.
Music can change that,
You just have to listen to the story.
Music changes lives,
And that my dears,
Will never change. "
I hope this helps.
Hello - Summer, here reminding you to eat your daily dose of watermelon (and maybe reviewing your poem too).
Overall, awesome work!!! I agree completely with the message of your poem, but I honestly don't feel like you said that much.
Since this poem is short I'm going to critique it line by line (or maybe group of lines).
"Music can do a lot to someone"
Your first line is arguably one of the most important in the entire poem. This line should grab the reader's attention - after reading this line they should be excited and interested to read the rest of your poem. This line just didn't do any of that for me. It was too general, too unoriginal, and it didn't seem like there was a ton of meaning behind it.
"Make them love" "Make them hate"
These lines felt kind of like you were just listing words. And again, not really saying anything.
"Music can change someone's outlook on life" "It can bring someone back from that slippery slope that they feel is going to last forever"
These two lines were interesting, but I felt like you were just scratching the surface of what you wanted to say. I would consider the questions: How does music do this? What slippery slope? Has music ever done either of these things for you? Or anyone you know? Try to expand on these lines and give them a little more depth.
"You have to listen to the story."
Again, elaborate!! What story? How should I listen to the story? What stories have you heard in music? You could even tell one - I think that could be really interesting.
Last three lines
I thought these lines were really cute, informal, and simple. So, if that's what you intended then great job!
To summarize,
I would advise you to add more detail and emotion to this poem. At this point, I feel like this poem could have been written by anyone. Make this poem more personal - How has music affected you and others around you? In this poem you stress the fact that music can change people's emotions - I want to feel these emotions!!! Make me feel them!!!
Keep up the good work!!!
~ Summer