Published October 8, 2010
Dancing,music
50's songs,
old people smiling,
back to their years,
what a sense of nostalgia.
Ta-ta ta-ta-taaa
Their posture,
perfect alingment,
genuine smile,
chin up,
simple jestures.
I see a couple dominating the dance,
steps are flowing,
how jealous am I
of the ease in which
they conduct their steps.
For a moment I was taken away,
I can't stop staring,
this being part of my found curiosity,
back to when Ulisse
was captured by
the sirens voices.
The room is big and bright,
usual wooden floor,
fascinating golden colours,
a chink of sunlight
coming from the window
opposite me
is adding more flavour to the dance.
Tango can't be,
no sense of possession
between the two
but a sense of belonging.
Salsa can't be,
the music is relaxed,
the man is leading,
the lady is following
almost as if being a doll.
Then with a little more thinking,
I figured it out,
Valzer is its name,
the dance of love.
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141,265 Literary Works • 674,332 Reviews
I agree with everyone else. You lack emotion because you tell us what is happening. I want to know what this person is thinking about the dance.
A. S.
I agree with the last reviewer who said it kinda just needed some more emotion. I think the reason it wasn't emotional is because you told us what was going on but didn't really find ways to relate it and express the emotion of it. We saw it, but we didn't feel it. Still, it's not a bad poem.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver13
I really enjoyed this. At first I had to read over again to understand what it was about lol! (:
It's different, which is a good thing. I've never read a poem about dancing before. I can't think of any faults, perhaps more emotion? but that's me. I prefer a lot of emotion in poetry xD
Good poem really, going to check out your other stuff now.
x