Young Writers Society

Hi IamI!

It's been a while since I've done any math, so I found your poem really funny because I much prefer words to numbers! The bit about where all your hair went is great.

^0:

1, 2, 3, 4,

5,

6, 7, 8, 9,

10,

1one 2two 3three 4four

5five

6six 7seven 8eight 9nine

10ten

=

1. 1. 1. 1.

I do have to admit, it took me a minute to get this part. I think it was the "^0:" at the beginning that threw it off--I can see now that you're applying the exponential zero to all of the following numbers, and they all come out as 1. The repetition of 1 there does a nice job of showing off frustration and confusion! I think it's because you go through 1-10 and then do it again with both numbers and words. "2two" for example, calls to mind 2^2 instead of 2^0, so I don't know if you'd like to consider reformatting this bit for clarity? I know it's hard to have clarity with math, but it's just a possible suggestion!

Don’t tell me why!

Tell me if there’s a why!

I’ve had enough Ys!

And enough x and zs!

None of this makes any sense!

I wonder if you use a few too many exclamation points here? It can definitely be a style choice, but there's much more emphasis on one line with an exclamation point--when there are several more after, it feels like it takes away from the feeling a bit. I do really like your use of variables here, y for why, and mentioning x and z. The second line seems a bit contradictory; you don't want a why/y, but you want to know if there is one? Maybe your last line illustrates it all!

I would ask god but this is man’s creation not his.
Some may say they know man’s first sin,
But they do not,
Because no man, no women, no child but this one
Has learned the truth:
Man’s first sin came when he wrote zero as an exponential.

Nice ending here! It sets a really different tone than the rest of the poem, which is more fragmented. I like that it gets more serious and discusses man's creation of math and the exponential zero, which for you is such a sin. Your thoughts on this matter are very clear!

Overall, I really like your formatting with the equal signs to separate sections and your use of numbers alongside words, I think that works really well! With a poem where formatting is so key, you might want to make sure everything is cohesive and all goes towards creating the tone and meaning that you want your poem to have. It would be cool to have a return to some numbers and either 0 or 1 at the very end of your poem to make it seem full circle!

I enjoyed reading this, very funny. Good luck with your future writing and your math as well!

-Q