Young Writers Society

Hey,

Your work is great! I love how your explanation of soulmates didn't feel like a boring introduction- it flowed perfectly into the story and didn't feel forced.

Great Job!

Hi,

This is a great short story. I love how at the start, it sort of explains the 'myths of soulmate'.
It's portraying almost a different reality where there's a kind of magic.
I also like how you have given the character an ideal way he would like to meet his soulmate;

"Maybe they could stumble upon each other in some shop or maybe they could meet under the fall of cherry blossom."

And then there's the anti-climax where it turns out he meets her online, and he doesn't like her at all at first.

When they eventually realise that they are soulmates, I love how it ends with a bit of a cliffhanger; "He huffed and extended his hand towards Asami,who was still standing, wide eyed and mouth gaping.

"Hi soulmate."

It finishes letting the reader wonder how it's going to work out between them, and what their reactions will be.

Overall this was a fantastic short story; I really enjoyed it

Keep writing!

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This was quite the piece here. I don't believe I've ever seen this particular take on a soulmate story, and I have to say I really enjoyed seeing that difference there. It made for a very interesting read I think.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Unlike the reflective surface of the mirror, soulmates were considered the two puzzle pieces, complimentary to each other.

They were the fireflies to show path their other half were in.

A soulmate was not always a lover, they could be a friend or an enemy.

Just what a person needed to push them forward, through the jagged path of life.

Katashi had always been fascinated by the myths of soulmate, the love they held, the new world of colors out there.

It was beautiful to think that a single person-who he never knew, would change and bring so much joy to life.

He was excited to see and get to know his other half, whenever they met.

It was believed that the first string connecting one soul to another was created under the shine of the stars with notes of music caressing the forming strings.

That's why the first note of something pure, something warm-resonated within the two person-soulmates-when they first meet.

The notes were said to feel like drinking hot starlight, thick and smooth and mesmerizing all at once.

Some even said it was addictive.

The red string of souls connected through the soft hands of an ancient note was bewitching.

Katashi always dreamt about how he could meet his soulmate.

Maybe they could stumble upon each other in some shop or maybe they could meet under the fall of cherry blossom.

He had thought of meeting his soulmate in some beautiful, movie like scenes.

Never in his twenty years of living did Katashi imagined of meeting his soulmate online.

And said soulmate to have insult his taste in classical music the first time they interacted.

Satō Asami.

They were under the same music curriculum that year. Classes were online for the first semester and so Katashi's only way of interaction with his new classmates was social media.

So when Katashi had first texted Asami-he did not know what to think.

The girl had blatantly insulted Ravel and his Boléro piece and it instantly made Katashi dislike Asami.

No one insulted Ravel in his presence.

After that Katashi did his best to avoid the girl, texting only when necessary.

And it irritated him when their mentor asked Katashi to partner up with Asami and play in the opening ceremony of their second semester.

Education institutes opening after an year apparently needed a ceremony of sort, Katashi thought sullenly as he dressed to go.

He really did not want to play with Asami and it pained him that he could not change it.

Face time practice with Asami proved to be a nuisance and a constant source of headache for him.

The girl was so loud and pretentious and thought almighty about herself, playing the harp so nonchalantly, so rough with the strings, that it grated his ears.

How did she even get the scholarship was something Katashi questions everytime he sees her.

He just hoped that after today's performance he never have to have a duet with Asami.

"Huh?! Where is Asami?!" He asked, annoyed, fearful and nervous

They were supposed to play at number 9 and it was already 6 and still no sign of Asami.

He exhaled deeply and closed his eyes, feeling the burning thrum of a headache.

The girl was so reckless.

Katashi wanted to strangle her once she showed up and maybe he would.

"She'll be here in-"

"I'm here!" The voice shouted and Katashi instantly turned towards the girl, ready to scold Asami for being so late.

When he stopped.

It felt like his entire body was slowly been unfurled, something hot running through his veins as he stared at the wide eyes of Asami.

"Oh", his thought seemed to echo until it was overlapped with something heavy. A ripple to the still soul, inside of him.

Tendrils of red danced around him and suddenly they were wrapping and stitching with another being, another ripple.

In this world it seemed like only Asami and Katashi, two souls yearning for eachother stood.

A heavy bell of something ancient resonated throughout and he was falling.

Until he was back on the backstage staring at the girl he despised who was staring at him with an awed look.

The girl who hated Ravel, who was loud-who was everything that Katashi was not and hated.

Fate has tied two imperfect souls of different ideologies together and Katashi smiled at the irony.

The girl,whom he had come to hate was his other half. Someone who could complete his rough edges.

He huffed and extended his hand towards Asami,who was still standing, wide eyed and mouth gaping.

"Hi soulmate."

Hey! Forever here with a tiny review!!

This was an interesting piece we had here. I liked how you started with some mythological facts and then jumped to the characters. Those descriptions you provided in the beginning were pretty catchy and made me read the whole story.

About the story, I think a lot of things could actually be added to the story. It's good but there are several room for improvements. Like first of all, I think you could decrease the pace of the story a lot by adding descriptions and incidents. Everything went so fast, like a feel that we have covered a whole year within such a short story. You could slower the pace by adding incidents in the form of "incidents". I mean you did specify incidents but those were kind of one liners. I think you can at least write five to ten sentences about the incidents that increased their hatred and animosity towards each other. Also, I think the end went too fast. The hatred rapidly changed to the soulmate thing. I mean the feeling towards one another should change due to something. Here it actually changed without any reason. I don't see how that is possible. I am not very learned about the concept of soulmates but yes, I do have few knowledge about how and why that happened. I haven't read or seen or learnt about such an abrupt change. Like hatred can not change into love without any reason(Since you have put the piece in romantic genre, I assume love is there)I hope that I have cleared my point to you.

Next about the characters. I will not repeat myself but again the change was abrupt. At first Katashi seemed to be a person who is philosophical and imaginative and maybe interested in mythology. However, when the music class came into picture, I think his character changed a lot. I didn't seem any traits that I had assumed he had. Then he kind of seemed a bit judgmental, I don't know why he seemed like that to me but he did. The girl, that is Asami is an interesting person. She actually seemed to be a good person to me. I think you can spend a bit more time in character development. It will actually help the readers interact more with your characters and then it would be more interesting to follow the character's journey. As it's a character based story, I think developing the character's mindset properly is a very critical and vital thing.

So okay I will not comment much on the plot as it's not really a plot driven story. However, seems like they do have one thing in common. Both of them love music, maybe and that is what brought them together. And also I am a bit interested to know who told this "hi soulmate" because from Asami's reaction, it seemed like she too had realized something. And hm... I wonder why she was really late. To me, she didn't seem to be the person who is very unpunctual(perhaps this is not the correct grammar ). Hm... Mysterious.

Overall, it was a good one, it just need some improvements.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever

Hiya Hya (I *thought* it was funny), this is me here with a review.

This is part of me reading romantic stories and putting reviews as I don't read that much romance (it is part of research for a story in the future). Oh, and, don't turn me into a hopeless lover for the characters, I warn ya.

That being said, let us dive in to your story. I will start with corrections and then do general appreciation and critique in regards to story, tone, characters, etc.

I think that there's some inconstancies and issues pertinent to your structuring, like these sentences. A few rounds of copyediting may be well worth it.

In this world it seemed like only Asami and Katashi, two souls yearning for eachother stood.

Unlike the reflective surface of the mirror, soulmates were considered the two puzzle pieces, complimentary to each other.

The red string of souls connected through the soft hands of an ancient note was bewitching.