The Game

This poem bored me, and I started skimming around the fourth line. It's basically "I do this. I do that. I do this that. I do that that." Not very interesting, especially since you don't describe what it is you're doing. All you do is tell.

Which is more interesting? "A lady got eaten by a wolf" or hearing the story about how the lady got eaten by the wolf?

Right now, you really need more description. Show us what exactly it is the narrator is doing. How is it being done? Why is it being done? To whom? Etc. Describe the game to us; show it in action. Calling it "the game" is (aside from being vague) quite tell-y and a bit cliche. What is it about the game that makes it so exciting? So entrancing? Why does the narrator want the reader to join him? Etc.

You don't have to answer every question I've asked, but answering at least some of them by, for example, incorporating descriptions of particularly thrilling moments for the narrator, would make this poem more interesting to read and far less tell-y. Also, getting creative with how you describe things, such as maybe comparing the game to a kangaroo (random, but bear with me) would definitely grab your readers' interest since they'll be curious how the game/kangaroo comparison would make sense (and it does have to make sense).

Poetry relies on vivid imagery/description to make it interesting and memorable. Right now, you have almost no imagery, and so your poem isn't interesting or memorable. Adding some unique imagery will make this poem much stronger and more memorable.

This was awesome and it should've been featured... if only you edit it first.

Alright, in a recent review I told someone that rhythm was an important aspect in free verse poetry - in fact it's the backbone thereof. However, this didn't apply to that person because that was an eerie poem and the lack of rhythm worked... sometimes. But not in your poem!

Have you heard Poker Face by Lady Gaga? Or the Glee version of the song? Well in all version the song has great rhythm, and it also describes a game... in a sense. As much as I dislike Lady Gaga, the people that worked on the song did a good job of describing scenes. I think it would do good to listen to the song (I pray not the video) and get that rhythm *Snaps in demonstration* and that description of the game.

If you can, risk trying to rhyme. At least just type something out in your word processor where you attempt to rhyme. Maybe ABABCDCD form, I dunno. I'm not saying your poem would be at its best in rhyme, but it would be better.

I love the first few lines of your first stanza because of your corresponding word choice. You used words like GAME & Rule, Play and Smile. I think you need to carry this throughout your whole poem, Howler. And we all need to carry that in our writing. Don't describe a fight scene like sawing wood, rather as a dance or other acrobatic activity, know what I mean?

The second line should be longer and more rhythmic. It has great wording but breaks the flow of the first.

I had to read it twice (But I'm no good with symbolism & meaning) and I think this is about a political game (Yes, I know you used that exact word). I think that's pretty cool. I can definitely imagine Obama in the White House bamboozling a bunch of British politicians

Anyway, touch up and send me a PM when you have. Looking forward to it.

Your pal,
TheNewHero